Putting on the Lenses of Gratitude . .

27 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Faithfulness, God, Gratitude, Positivity

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Yesterday a few friends and I were sharing our personal stories of extreme weather events, of enduring and surviving. It became so obvious from the first moments, that each of us was grateful for having been through what we had been unscathed. But it also became so crystal clear to us that our thankfulness went far beyond that! We were thankful, upon recollecting, for not having had to endure far worse! Each day, in every moment, lies infinite potential for better and worse. The very thing which makes it evident to us is our awareness in those moments of how grateful we are for what we have, for what we evaded and for how we are blessed!

Good could be better. And perhaps we’re angry or upset that it was not. But in that state, did we take note of how it was still good and not bad or even worse?? Were we present in our blissful awareness to also be thankful that it wasn’t negative, or just worse?! We’re fabulous at pointing out how bad things are, or how we survived or lived through; probably because our pain, struggles or our hardships seem to garner us more attention by way of compassion, sympathy and empathy. But if we truly were present in each moment, we would soon see how very blessed we are and always have been! Good might surely have been better, but for everything, time or person who represented good to us in our lives, we were spared the worse things, times and people. And even if we encounter those things, times and people which are worse, it could have always been worse even yet!

Thankfulness reminds us of the breadth and scope of our life’s events as it focuses our limited attention to a wider range of possibility in assessment. Gratitude is a practice which only leads to more reasons to be grateful! Looking back at your life, I’m sure now you can see more reasons for which your life is meaningful, rewarding and valuable than ever before if you but put on the lenses of gratitude!

Content With Myself . .

25 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, God, Life, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

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Contentment, Love, Self-Esteem

The older I get, the more I realize that lite isn’t about changing myself to suit others or to please others or to follow anyone else’s lead. Life is about growing, changing, learning, and becoming whomever it is I was meant to be and being accepting of that person through it all! That means I live in step with my values, my beliefs and in an such a way as to uphold daily my character. It doesn’t mean that I look for ease in everything, expect everyone’s approval or think I know it all by now. It means that I’m not content in anything or with anyone else unless I first am content with myself – able to discern my own self-worth and to love myself regardless the presence or absence of others and in spite of all circumstances, including my own flaws and imperfections! And that contentment with myself is paramount to a life spent people pleasing, agreeing with or assuring others instead.

It’s not selfish to do so, it’s self-preserving to live one’s own life for the sake of preserving one’s innermost core of values, beliefs and character; and most importantly, in preserving one’s own sense of self-worth, self-love and self-acceptance. Otherwise we might risk becoming yet another of the lost, seemingly-uncertain and unaware souls who don’t know their own value first and foremost because they’ve placed all measure and determination of that most critical appraisal in the tenuous hands of others or in the worth of things attained.

And don’t we see the obvious effects of those lost souls daily in our news broadcasts, in stories of such tragedies and loss? Those are the stories of people who aren’t able, at a time or in a moment to remember the value of their own lives, much less the lives of others. They’ve placed their own esteem in the hands of others, or lost it for themselves by not living in accord with their beliefs or values; or believed it was equitable to what they’ve accomplished or had achieved. Such sad stories when we know a person’s worth is priceless because it comes from God, were only all souls made known of that fact!

Every person’s value is infinite! All of us face times of great consternation, pain and wearing-down of self; but those who live with awareness of their worth first through Him tend to persist through their life storms with more will and tenacity because they know unequivocally that critical measure! They aren’t so-easily eroded by the influences of other humans or by the passing fancy of circumstance. Contentment starts by rooting in the firmament of God rather than in the shaky ground of mere humanity.

Facing the Storms, Fearlessly . .

22 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Discipline, Integrity, Life, Self-Esteem

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character, Courage, Fear

It’s often fear, worry or doubt which makes us run from challenges, storms and the random turmoil of life; but then it’s failure, regret and insufficient results with which we are left in their wake! A part of us always loses when we walk (or run!) away from a challenge, cower in the face of our storms or let the circumstances of life keep us from living our life to the fullest measure. Pieces of our own integrity are lost, chunks of our self-confidence are eroded, and our own belief in our abilities is etched away.

Each challenge, storm, or difficult circumstance which we encounter in this life serves as an opportunity to provide to us so much in the way of personal growth and development. But not if we let fear, worry or self-doubt keeps us from facing it head on or ultimately conquering it. Every time we let those emotions win, we fail to realize the rewards of improved confidence, awareness and self-esteem for having bested them! A big life lesson is learned every time we push through . . accepting our challenges and relishing the lessons inherent in them!

Many people choose to claim their challenges, their miseries and their life’s turmoil as badges of honor; but the real badge of honor is in beating it down and in besting it all! It’s in the overcoming where we become so much more than we imagined! So many people keep track of their losses, their failures, their miseries and the discord of life so that they can use the tally as an excuse to stay safely where they are; rather than realizing those same events and challenges provide opportunity for growth, change and understanding!

The fight to overcome what comes at us in life with courage and willful tenacity rewards us with confident, purposeful and deliberate growth, enhanced stability and assurances from within! School is in session each new day . . make it your goal to pass the tests of life as they appear with courage and tenacity; and to continue in developing your own potential as you progress through the years!

This Is the Human World . .

16 Thursday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Discipline, Faithfulness, God

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Faithfulness, God, Peace

Sometimes what seems so obvious isn’t. And what we think we know, we don’t. And what seems like truth is far from it. This is the world of mistaken perceptions, of unknowns and often, untruths. This is the human world, which lives by and in only limited human understanding. We may think we know how to do all, our egos may tell us we can fix this or change that; but we’re limited by our own abilities as human beings and by our own incomplete awareness. We’re not God, we’re not gods. We are all humans in a world where we and many other humans do our best and many others still do their worst. It’s the way of humanity.

The reason things here on Earth never feel quite totally safe or completely assured or in perfect working order are because they never will be when left in human hands. Someone will make a bad choice with consequential ripples; someone else will falter in their steps or another will purposefully act in discordant fashion, and others still will simply not know what to do at any given time.

Now should we be fearful of this daily reality? Should we live in complete despair at the knowledge of our own flawed humanness? Maybe and perhaps many shall and will. But for those who place all humans equally under the dominion of God, our humanity is expected and even understood. It is right, if not righteous. It is true, if not truthful. It is sure, if not assuring. So there is really no point in living fearfully, without peace or caught in the discord of any moment’s chaos. We’re not in the world of perfection or purity. We’re in the world where conflicts occur, where erroneous acts are perpetrated either purposefully or not. We’re in the world of humans, the fallen world. We’re in the world where really good, unselfish and compassionate acts of love occur as well; but that is because humans have within them the love of God. As for the rest, the negative or destructive, we have within us that potential because we’re humans.

Only God can and does provide humans their path towards righteousness, their example of truthfulness and their worldly assuredness. I would expect, in those who don’t know God, this world is unsteady. To those who do, this world is not their focus, so none of its problems or posturing is either. Keeping eyes on Him and hearts in Him is the anecdote to fear, doubt, worry, trepidation, despair, depression, feeling lost, feeling unloved, the unknown and all that is of this world.

Facing the Giants We Fear . .

14 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faithfulness, Fear, God, Self-Respect, Strength, Trials

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Fear, God, Self-Respect

Fear is born from our need to process what we cannot, out of our longing to seize control when we aren’t sure we have any and through our inability to imagine how everything we might fear plays out without hurting us, irreparably changing us or negatively impacting our lives. That is fear . . it’s dreading and resenting something, someone or some set of events which represent change, disturbance and discord.

Perhaps we fear a disease. Maybe we fear other people. Often we fear one thing so much, we refuse to do that out of fear – e.g. public speaking, flying, etc.. It might just be we fear all that is changing in our lives as we age, because we doubt our own ability to handle what comes our way. But fear is a liar. It doesn’t always adequately represent the truth of what we’re facing or even the truth of what will be. And fear is a liar in that it doesn’t take into account the power, strength, will and perseverance which might just see us through the times ahead. And fear again lies, because it forgets that we’re not alone. We have God!

I believe it was in the movie “Facing the Giants“, (which is all about facing our daily fears and those incredible “giants” of things and people in life which we fear just because of who or what they represent) that I saw the reference to the number of times God mentions not fearing in His Word, found in the Bible. 365 separate times we’re told to not fear. I don’t expect He thought we wouldn’t feel fear or be fearful; but I believe He wanted to assure us 365 times that no matter the fear, the size of our giants or the battle ahead, we’re not alone – He is with us! Fear and our giants are not fought by us alone, He is with us. So it’s not our size, our fight or our abilities which matter. We must face things with courage, which surely takes effort and practice these days, but we can do so because of His abilities and His “size”! Don’t measure what you fear and your giants against your ability; measure the fear, the giants you face and the ability to best it all based on the all-powerful, promise-keeping and faithful Father! Give your fears their rightful rest in Him!

What Others Think . .

13 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, God, Gratitude, Happiness, Humility, Love, Peace, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

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Confidence, God, Self-worth

Often we think it matters more what others think of us, if we’re acceptable or alright in their eyes. But we mustn’t forget that what matters most in this world is how we appraise ourselves and who we are in God’s eyes. Others will have their opinions, fleeting, and based on their own limited knowledge and awareness. Perhaps they never fully know the inner workings of our hearts, minds and spirits. So basing our own self-appraisal on limited thought and consideration provides us with a limited or faulty appraisal. But God knows us through and through. We cannot hide who we are from Him! We cannot hide who we are from ourselves. It is all self-evident in our choices, in our family-lives, in our pursuits, in our hobbies, in our friendships and in our priorities. Spending time on developing the inner soul and sanctum means more in this life than any measure of outer approval rendered by any other means. We simply cannot ever be “enough” measured by anything external to us when such an appraisal is needed for just our ego’s sake.

We should always endeavor to be self-propelled and self-managed, rather than relying upon the conditional approval of others. When we cede our ego’s appraisal to any outside source, we lose pieces and parts, clarity and awareness, from our identity within. I’ve witnessed so many people nearly destroyed by not getting the favorable opinions or praise from others that should have been established from within them – by knowing who they are, by believing in and respecting themselves, by establishing themselves in the known love of God.

Human appraisal is not sustaining and is need-based; but self-acceptance formed through His love and promises is! Self-acceptance, self-respect and self-love fully-formed out of knowing who we are and from where we rightfully come is undeniable, firm and indelible. It’s nice to have others affirm qualities about us or compliment us on various aspects of our lives or person; but what is even nicer is having genuine self-acceptance of all that God has created us to be, with our foothold in self-confidence, self-love and self-respect regardless the opinions of others!

Confronting Fear . .

12 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Fear, Lessons, Self-Control, Strength

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Courage, Fear

Living with fear can really put a damper on your life. It can stop you in your tracks, keep you from living fully and prevent you from growing into the best version of you that you can be! Fear is truly like a restraint laid upon our souls and spirits, whereby our movement, growth and success can be limited. We might feel fear for a genuine reason, such as a threat perceived; but if we don’t learn how to face that fear or to overcome fears, we end up giving our power to them!

Fear is a challenge, in that by feeling fearful, we are forced to confront whatever it is we dread or doubt – before we can accomplish what we must. Fear is also the source of doubt within us as to our own abilities! When fear rears its ugly head, we might let it negate our ability to muster the courage required to do what we must in spite! Fear also depletes our confidence, pieces at a time! If we let fear win whenever we’re forced to confront it but don’t, we eventually diminish our self-confidence and self-respect in turn. There is nothing to do when we feel fear but to confront it!

Fear is a rallying cry within us to muster up courage. Every time we muster that courage, we knock fear back to manageable sizes within us. Every time we don’t, however, fear then grows exponentially! If we leave fear unabated within us, so that it looms over our lives with increasing power; we will suffer a loss of self-worth. Fears are muscles we flex for numerous reasons; we aren’t certain, we have doubts or perhaps we don’t want to make mistakes. But instead of flexing the muscles of fears, we can feel it but then flex the countering muscle of courage! When we feel fearful yet act courageously to overcome or abate our fear, we can truly propel our maturity and growth as a result! As the saying goes, Feel the fear, but do it anyway!

We Owe It To Ourselves . .

10 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Courage, Discipline, Exploration, Fullness, Life, Self-Respect, Strength

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explorer, growth, Learning

We owe it to ourselves to understand the way things are, what we believe about the world and our place in it. We do no one, most especially ourselves, any good when we accept the opinions of others on face value or live our lives as echoes of others whom we view favorably or by fandom for their supposed celebrity. This is our life, our journey and our passage through it. If we aren’t going to make choices which reflect what it is that reflects our inner core of values and beliefs, then we aren’t going to have a life which feels comfortable and is meaningful to us.

Someone dear to me never ceases to amaze me in her insistent and persistent endeavors. She moves through life individually, and purposefully as such, attempting, learning and developing herself. She has a full life of experiences as a result! She might not be the master of any one thing, but she will be able to relish her participation in each and every manner in which she participates. Life is meant to be savored, tasted, tried and experienced. We’re meant to learn, to practice, to endeavor, to attempt, to challenge and to develop skills through all the challenges we master. We might not be proficient enough at some of those things to earn our income or to rely upon them for providing our sole support; but we can qualify ourselves as ably and aptly learned in such matters.

But for those who don’t love or respect themselves enough to take the time to explore their own hearts and minds; to find preferences, skills, talents, abilities and acceptable beliefs, nothing is learned at all! Without first knowing a thirst from wanting to develop and grow because we believe ourselves worthy such endeavors, we won’t push ourselves beyond the familiar or the simple. And often the simple is to take what others say or do rather than to work on developing those preferences for ourselves.

Moving into the “explorer” mindset is as easy as knowing we’re worth such an effort! That person who is dear to me does what she does because she is feeding her soul. She is learning, developing and growing her mind, her talents, her abilities and her experiences because she is compelled by a desire to be a full, learned individual! Don’t accept what others have done or limit yourself to living vicariously through others. Find a way to challenge anew your heart, mind and your spirit to grow, to learn and to develop something new; and to realize who you are and what makes you tick! Imagine the life you can have when you assert your belief in yourself?! Just igniting that fire within you is to empower yourself to have the fullest, most interesting and experienced life possible.

Broken Barriers . .

06 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Discipline, Dreams, Faith, Fear, Happiness, Inspiration, Passion, Patience, Peace

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Dreams, enthusiasm, tenacity

Every time I consider the obstacles to my imagination, my beliefs and my dreams, I remember those who truly broke through barriers of seeming common sense and plausibility with theirs! Imagine the Wright brothers lifting off the ground for the first time?! Imagine Columbus and others who dared not sail off the face of what they were told was the flat earth?! Imagine those who first took their faith to the outer reaches of space?! Imagine those who believed they could do and b…e when all the world screamed, “You’re nuts!”; when all they did was just imagine that something was possible?! Imagine all that exists now because someone believed in bigger, greater, unexpected and implausible dreams?!

So when I choose to believe in that which I cannot prove or see yet in this world . . in God, in my yet-realized dreams, in possibilities I’ve yet to conquer but imagine one day I might . . I don’t see myself as alone in all of that; but rather, I’m surrounded by those who didn’t restrict their belief or their imaginations to what is already known or already possible. I’m in great and full company when I dare to believe in much more! History is rife with examples of those overcoming to dare what seemed impossible or unlikely.

Don’t let naysayers take from you the seeds of imagination! Don’t let naysayers plant within you seeds of doubt, fear or implausibility! Don’t let anyone tell you the limits of your life, the limits of your beliefs, or the limits of your dreams! Perhaps those people trying to weigh you, your beliefs and your dreams down with their parameters of possibility aren’t as imaginative, willing, courageous or faithful as you! All those who’ve ever dared did it in spite of their own doubts, fears and self-limitations. All those who’ve ever dared, changed and/or accomplished did it in spite of the concerns, fears and limits others tried to place upon their vision!

The World Flipping . .

01 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, Family, God, Lessons, Life, Self-Control, Self-Respect, Wisdom

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The world is officially flipping. As my grandmother said way back in the mid-nineties, aliens have taken over the bodies and minds of many average citizens. I cannot imagine how she would surmise current events and the spectacles which fill the daily news feeds all these years later. People in the asylum now have hold of the keys and are in charge of the daily management of the facility! In all good humor, I present her thesis and my amendment; but with all seriousness, I relent in this appraisal. It saddens me how far we have strayed from the moral and character-driven culture we once were for the most part. America is now a nation flipped and upside down with immorality, deceit and implausible considerations.

We were never perfect, there was always evil and sin; but now more and more of us believe in less and less. We strive it seems to be more outlandish and to live more on the fringes of what so many deem boring and mundane. Marriage, family, faith and good character are no longer in vogue; those values and beliefs have been replaced with cultural norms which shock many of the middle of America to their core. My grandmother was ahead of her time in seeing the results of years of turning from God, of replacing family orientation with its opposite; and with vulgarity and with lewdness as a means of changing the rut of boring and common-place middle-American values and beliefs. Those traditional core beliefs were deemed oppressive and confining by a new generation of people who rebel against such structure and confines upon their own behavior. Many have given up controlling themselves in favor of instantaneous gratification and immediate pleasure. Self-control is now freely ceded for governmental constraint, too much is not enough when it comes to laws and regulations to form and shape our behaviors because we seem unable and unwilling to self-control and self-regulate; and furthermore, to accept responsibility for our own actions! And therein we find the source of the dilemma!

So few want to be constrained and confined to the standards which living moral and character-driven lives entails. Faith, God and family are now passé! Instead we have foul, unfamiliar and upside-down/backwards as our new reality! The counter-culture now runs our schools, our media, our government and our lives; much to the chagrin of middle-America, which still clings to their family, faith and moral traditions. Fortunately, God is still in charge of the world, regardless who chooses to believe it might be so! It is. I await His correction of this upside-down/backwards and side-stepping, ego-driven society. I’m sure He is growing tired of our childish insistence that we know best, when surely the resulting chaos and instability in our world proves Him right.

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Monthly Archives: October 2014

Putting on the Lenses of Gratitude . .

Content With Myself . .

Facing the Storms, Fearlessly . .

This Is the Human World . .

Facing the Giants We Fear . .

What Others Think . .

Confronting Fear . .

We Owe It To Ourselves . .

Broken Barriers . .

The World Flipping . .