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Category Archives: aging

Going Back to School…

28 Saturday Jul 2018

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Choices, Growing, Lessons, Life, Maturity, Peace, Purpose, Wisdom

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Back to School, Maturity, Wisdom

Going back to school is really just waking up every day to face life! We never stop learning! All of our lives we must face the fact that we’re always students. We might wish we had moved past that when we left our late teens or early twenties, but in truth, we’re always students having to learn something, taking tests, studying, and moving on. It never ends, this relationship of ours as students in life! It is ongoing, through all facets, stages, and conditions in which we exist. We never stop learning, even when we are adamantly opposed to the notion, or reject the idea outright! If only we could learn to embrace the role, perhaps the role itself would help bring direction to our lives and some peace to our minds.  

During our childhood, we endured years of mandatory schooling, whereby we had to meet certain standards necessary for us to move forward into new pursuits and educational challenges. There wasn’t a way to evade that part of our journey, especially during my generation. Public schools were the norm, and standards were created nationally as well as by each state to keep all students aligned with the pursuit of obtaining certain educational goals. There were standards required in every subject, for every grade level, and for every type of school. The only way we could get to higher grades and levels of achievement in those grades was by accomplishing each grade’s standards before moving on to the next. In my generation, the late baby boomers, there weren’t many opportunities to bypass public school, unless our parents could afford to send us to private schools. There weren’t many home-schooled children that I knew of, and there were no online schools or diploma alternative tests. We were either students, at least from kindergarten through the end of high school, or we were drop-outs. 

Having no real choice in the matter, as education seemed essential and mandatory, I then went into each new grade with a sense that it was necessary for my future and inevitable for my progress! Being a student was the role I was in from the age of five through seventeen. I went from grade school to middle school and then high school. The first period of choice I had after those twelve years of not dropping out was going to college when I was seventeen. I chose to go. It wasn’t until sometime in my mid-twenties that I realized the whole student/learning process I had celebrated when it had finally concluded in my early twenties actually hadn’t ended at all! It was still ongoing and never ends until the day we die!    

Every day we are learning, going through some lesson, facing some test(s), and determining through such profound moments whether or not we progress onward in our lives! Our role as students in life never ceases, as we are always moving into new circumstances, developing other skills, becoming more adept, learning something new, changing our minds, and growing in wisdom. Each new day we should wake up preparing for that day’s classroom called life! Every day we are really still just students going back to school, but in a classroom without walls, our teachers coming and going with their unique lessons, and our homework found in attitudinal shifts, mental challenges, and quizzical mysteries. We are in one long grade from the time we leave our formal educational confines, the role of actual student, and officially graduate into life. It’s called the process of maturing, and it takes all of our lives to do well! It also takes accepting that we’re never done being a student of something, today, tomorrow, and the next. Each day we must face our lessons, tests, and hope for promotion onward to the next day’s subjects, lessons, tests, and so on. 

Tomorrow when you awaken, the bell will be ringing…school has begun! 

Maturing is What Our Souls Do…

10 Saturday Feb 2018

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Choices, Fear, Growing, Lessons, Life, Maturity, Persistence, Purpose, Strength, Trials, Wisdom

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Maturity, Strength, Wisdom

Growing up is what our bodies do, maturing is what our souls do. When life comes at us rapidly and we don’t know how to handle what we are experiencing, it’s just life’s way of letting us know we aren’t as mature as we could be or need to be! We need to do more to prepare ourselves to deal and cope with the future challenges ahead.  

Don’t cheat yourself out of the necessary experiences which propel you to maturity by evading them or escaping from your share of responsibility for them! All of that in life which you might experience which is really difficult, painful, or frightening, cannot destroy you unless you let it. In the face of everything which feels uncomfortable and at times disturbing, you must hunker down, find your strength, persevere through, and eventually overcome! 

That is our challenge throughout life, to resolve our own dilemmas, to face our fears, to cope with our emotions, and to learn through experience the wisdom necessary to move onward even through the most difficult, life-altering, or perplexing matters. At the end of our road, with such purposeful focus, we’re sure to be as noticeably mature within as we are visibly grown on the outside!

With Aging, There Aren’t Any Rules…

25 Wednesday Oct 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Fitness, goals, Maturity, Outdoors, Persistence, Strength

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aging, Attitude, Fitness, goals

Have you ever told yourself that what you were considering was impossible before you even began? I’ve done it more in recent years than ever before because I’ve grown accustomed to thinking that with middle age, I am naturally more limited! But that, I would suggest, is a lie. And with aging, there aren’t any rules! I am no less able now than I was twenty or thirty years ago. The actual difference in my fitness or abilities is only evident in that I may have a few more aches or pains when I do something, I may have to warm up a few minutes longer, and I may have to go a bit easier at first when attempting things, but the only real limits to training and physical fitness is in my imagination! 

When I was younger, I had amazing endurance. It always took me a long time to get winded when working out, or when doing something physical. As an avid hiker, I was often chided by my friends as being part mountain goat, because the uphill effort wasn’t as taxing for me given my endurance. I’m not a fast runner or a speed demon in any pursuit, but I have that endurance consistently. Well, even with age, that hasn’t changed much. I’m still able to “go the distance” when it comes to physical activities and sporting endeavors. I can still hike and do hike, I can move up a flight of stairs without getting winded, and I can train for a considerable time before I start to get winded or fatigued. But the minute I try to sprint, run, or race through any sport, I can’t maintain the effort for very long. So really, not much has changed for me at this stage of life! With stretching, I’m just as flexible, with effort, I’m just as conditioned. The only thing I’ve really noticed with aging is a need to build and keep more muscle, as that seems to be less easy to do and more a challenge of our body’s aging process. 

So the lesson I’ve learned the last few years is to not limit myself by what I might perceive as the natural result of aging! Why start to tell myself that aging will impact me this way or that if in fact, it’s not true! Why limit myself and possibly become more sedentary? Why would I keep putting limitations upon my abilities, my possibilities, my efforts, and my goals just because a calendar flips another page? I shouldn’t! I’m realizing that all the changes I perceived about aging are more about giving into self-limitations and false expectations associated with certain periods of life. And that notion of the possible limitations of aging leads a lot of people into prematurely sedentary lives, actually accelerating the aging process, mentally and physically! Loads of people tell themselves that they can’t, so they never make it to can! I don’t want to be one of those people, as life ceases being as meaningful when we give it less space for growth and when we give ourselves less capacity for fullness and fulfillment! I enjoy being active and challenging myself.  

Last year, I set a goal during the Summer of swimming two miles without stopping. I have a pool in the backyard, so it was easy to imagine that such a goal would be possible in our long Summer swimming season here in the hot desert Southwest. I worked hard, built up my time each swim, and then swam with the purposeful fine-tuning of my stroke by paying attention to instructions I had once received in swim lessons. I bought equipment which made the effort easier, such as goggles, a cap, and a one-piece swimming suit. I swam several times a week, achieving my goal of two miles non-stop by early July of last year. Even though I had to quit swimming too early to have shoulder surgery (unrelated to my swimming), I felt great for pushing ahead with such a strong goal! This year in mid-May, I started on a new goal, swimming three miles non-stop! It’s a lot of laps in an in-ground residential pool, easily a couple hours of commitment per swim. But, I achieved that goal this year by early July and enjoyed a very productive and rewarding swimming season again! I’m not sure I will increase that goal for next Summer, as it requires a lot of time to swim even three miles at a time. I will keep that as a goal though, even though I’ll be another year older by then! 

Since it finally got too cold in the pool for me to swim, now that it is Autumn, I have taken my physical pursuits and can-do attitude in fitness and put them into a new effort – running! I do struggle more with it as a goal, as it takes a lot more physical control and conditioning for me, with such an impactful exercise routine. The benefit of swimming is the low impact the water provides my body. But I’m determined to not let myself be limited by my own mind’s perception of my possible limitations! My body is amazing in that it accepts my efforts by acclimating to my conditioning efforts, so I am left to ponder what more I might accomplish?! Why would I say “never” until I at least try?! And my efforts, though slow and steady so far, have proven that I am already able to do more than if I had just told myself that I was incapable from the onset! My challenge is to build up to some major achievement with this, just as I did with swimming! Remember, with aging, there aren’t any rules.

Old-School Tools . .

21 Wednesday Jun 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Gardening, Lessons, Nature, Outdoors, Patience

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Gardening, Nature, Patience, Progress, Tools

I have a love/hate relationship with yard blowers! I can see the need for them, really I can. But they also create a lot of noise and racket in lieu of using the quieter, slightly less efficient rake. I am usually a rake person, choosing the quieter and less efficient means just because it’s an old school tool and doesn’t make so much racket! On mornings like this, however, I could have pulled out my leaf blower and gone to town!  

My neighbors aren’t as timely in leaf removal, so often times, what I am raking up is actually the leaf debris from trees on their side of the property line. This morning, I realized I have raked up leaves on one side of my property repeatedly the last few months. Today, it finally dawned on me that the majority of those leaves were from my neighbor’s tree. Upon examining the situation, I came to the conclusion that I would be raking every couple of weeks given how windy our Summers can be. The only solution is to rake up their leaves as well!

I would never tell my neighbors (who are also my dear friends) that this was my plan, as I wouldn’t want them to feel bad about any additional work I’m doing because of them. Since I have to rake up my yard anyway, why not take the extra time to rake up the leaves hovering nearby under their plants?! Those leaves would eventually find their way into my yard, so it just makes sense for both my neighbor and me! I’m raking the leaves up on my side anyway, so I might as well do theirs too!  

But as I started, I realized how much my leaf blower would have made efficient work of the effort. Leaves were piled high underneath several plants in the watering wells where the rake wouldn’t fit, and a blower would have done the job in mere minutes! Unfortunately for me, it was too early and far too quiet on our street to make that much racket! And so, I have again renewed my love/hate of the yard blower! I have one, but almost never use it because of the loud din it produces when doing so. My metal-tined rake is one of the most used tools I have! I’m sure all the landscaping crews working for all my other neighbors never give such things much thought, they are paid to do their job and use the tools necessary to do that work efficiently. I hear the sounds of lawn mowers and blowers almost daily on our street! But I obviously over think the noise produced by that pesky leaf blower to the point that it gathers dust on my garage shelving! 

I really hope to make peace with that gizmo, as it probably does make a gardener’s life easier and work more efficient! It’s the same inner turmoil I had last month when I borrowed my neighbor’s battery-powered pruning saw to make some quick cuts through a large fallen tree limb after sweating for a while on it with a hand-held tool. My manual pruning saw was a lot more fatiguing and time-consuming! One day, perhaps I will go new-school and realize how much easier my life will be in the process! Some day. 

Change is Surely Inevitable . .

19 Monday Jun 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Choices, Conquering Fear, Lessons, Life, Maturity, Peace, Strength, Wisdom

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Acceptance, aging, Change, Peace of Mind

I miss the way things were earlier in my lifetime when I was younger and life seemed simpler. I suppose it’s a common phenomenon of growing older that change can leave a lot of our lives unrecognizable or just a wee bit uncomfortable. It’s inevitable, there are cycles in life, natural lifespans, and popularity, which impacts what we’re surrounded by each day we live. Everything and everybody which once surrounds us will ultimately fall victim to time’s passing, especially upon hitting mid-life. And the hardest part of growing old is watching all that is familiar give way to something new, different, or otherwise unfamiliar to us. Change is surely inevitable, but not always preferential! And accepting change is the most challenging but essential aspect of aging! Especially at a time like this when everything seems to change so much more rapidly than in years and generations prior. Perhaps we live in the time of the most significant change societies have ever had to absorb since the beginning of human existence in the world. I cannot say for sure, as I only live in this time.

 

Surely the earliest of human beings had to deal with a lot of perceptible development, just by becoming adults. There were significant and momentous developments visible through the ages, much like those evident during the industrial revolution or with the development of language in each culture over time. But these days, keeping up with things is literally imperative to know the ever-changing colloquial language, as well as all that which influences daily life. Imagine what would become of someone unfamiliar with even the most simple of technological developments these days? If someone didn’t know how to use a portable, instantaneous form of communicating such as a cell phone, they would probably feel very ignorant in this contemporary world! We’re able to instantly communicate, nearly everywhere in the world. We can speak, write, and even render our thoughts across the globe in seconds! Without an awareness of the internet, cell phones, computers, or other forms of technology, people would be clueless about much of the world’s modern functionality!  

And in that reflection, there are people in the world alive today who had the earliest form of telephone service available. They first had landlines which required operators to connect a call or which had multiple party connections, which meant negotiating for phone usage, and took considerable time for connecting from one place only miles away to others. A phone call was a great luxury when the telephone first became a household staple and even having a phone was not guaranteed in every household as a cell phone is expected to be these days. Having a telephone was a privilege one had to be able to afford to actually have. It was not that long ago that many of us living today had hard-wired phones, hanging on our walls or sitting on our tables. We had to manually dial all the numbers on a large rotary dial and we couldn’t move beyond the distance the length of the curled connecting cord between the base and the handset allowed. We didn’t always get through instantaneously because it took more time to actually dial, especially long distance, and there were often either interruptions or perhaps the line would be busy already. I’m surely not an expert on the history of such technology, but I lived through several technological changes over my lifetime which developed into the instantaneous, wireless, global service we have today! If Maxwell Smart were alive and spying today, would he even bother with a shoe phone? 

When I think of all the changes which I’ve witnessed and absorbed in my lifetime, I’m often disturbed by the pace of things! It’s not necessarily all that comfortable to grow old with things always changing, as things don’t often change for the better! As we age, change seems to be more prolific and more impactful such as with more of our family and friends passing away. It’s a matter of time’s natural passing and lifespan. We merely have to learn to become more accepting of living without those with whom we were first closely surrounded. And we must learn to let go of a lot of regular aspects of our daily lives. All things and people have a natural lifespan, including the familiar businesses, places, and landmarks of our communities and our hometowns. Everything comes and goes, with some random time pattern, not always of our choosing! It’s just a part of life. We might really enjoy a restaurant, perhaps we’re even regulars there,  we become our own version of “Norm!” from Cheers (a sitcom from the 1980’s) to some group we routinely encounter there. But then that place suffers from an economic downturn or the owners choose to retire, or some other random incident causes its closure. That happens repeatedly as we age, especially if we stay in the same place over a long period of time. We take notice of changes, of communities shifting and changing in demographics, in population, in prosperity, and economically. Landscapes with which we have great familiarity seem to morph into something unfamiliar and all-too-new. Change without our developing sense of acceptance is just unsettling.   

I often wish I could keep more of the familiar people and places in my life, sans change! It isn’t always comfortable or easy to accept a lot of the change which comes with age and with time’s passing. But acceptance is a strange bedfellow because it enables us to make as much peace as possible with something which inherently at first feels uncomfortable or unpleasant. And getting better at accepting things is making my life easier, even with all the bombardment of change which now seems “normal” at this time period of my life. I can’t go back to a time when life seemed simpler or easier, and I cannot slow life down to make it seem more tolerable. This life is going at a pace which requires my constant endurance and daily acceptance! And I work each new day to keep those muscles flexing for the fevered pace of change we’re experiencing in 2017! Who knows what is coming next in the world, by way of technological developments, or in my own community? It’s all constantly changing and morphing into a new version of today, each new tomorrow!

The Price of Meandering . .

26 Tuesday Jan 2016

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Choices, Discipline, Growing, Lessons, Maturity, Wisdom

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Purpose, Spiritual Maturity, Timeliness

This journey called life is not meant to be an aimless meander; but rather a purposeful, forward trek for the sake of fulfilling God’s will for us and completing His plans. In it all and through it all, a greater puzzle is being pieced together around us and with us, whether or not we ever know how much of it is finished or what the end result of all of that will be. The ultimate puzzle of this life and this world’s lifetime is being pieced together, regardless our choice to realize our role or its conclusion.

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So better our decision to be active participants in the process, anticipating the puzzle’s completion!  And knowing that is happening, is better than being an unwitting rambler; reacting to things which happen around us and to us, with no consideration of this most precious matter of time lapsing towards some distinct finality. Do we know the number of our days? Do we understand the meaning of those days? Or do we waste so many, not willing to accept their limited number or our role in the puzzle being pieced around us? One day, this will all cease to be. And our eternities will be decided in a moment.  

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For us or with us, that is surely what we know of God’s plans for this world. There is an end coming, for this stage of life for us and for this life as this world knows it. In the Bible, there is a promise of the return of the Lord Jesus, which ties the ribbons of this whole package of creation together in a conclusive manner! So is meandering still meaningful? Or must we decide to finally grow up in Him and with Him as soon as we possibly can? Make time an imperative for the sake of your own soul and spirit! For His sense of time and ours are not equitable. We don’t know God’s plans, but we should know that our life is not a random accident of human conception on some compendium of time. We’re here for a purpose, that being to serve His will for not only us, but for the world as a whole! Value this life and your numbered days for what it means for your eternity;  it is all a constant, purposeful opportunity to learn, grow, change and develop  deeper spiritually into a lasting relationship with the Father!   

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My Favorite “Gift” . .

05 Tuesday Jan 2016

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Celebration, Choices, Christmas, Contentment, Family, Happiness, Joy, Love

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Christmas, Family, Gratitude

My favorite “gift”, over the recent holiday week between Christmas until just after New Year’s, was hearing from my family/friends that they appreciated the homemade treats I prepared for them and the home-cooked meals we shared together during that week. It’s nice to know that just the act of preparing a meal, sitting down together at home and appreciating the tastes  tailor-made for them was so welcome and worthwhile!   4a16ea037f3b62fc0dde89e57bdb6d5b

 

We set times for those meals and sat down at those times; then we prayed and took our leisure . . sans gizmos, outside influences and disruptions . .  to dine in peace, together. It was lovely! I think it helped to take the rush out of our days; and it gave us invaluable time being together eating and conversing! It really was a reminder of a different period of life, years ago, when our family and loved ones dining together throughout the day was a regular part of our lives. Now, we’re older, busier and strewn across the nation working on our careers; and some of our family and friends have passed on. It is not possible to share in those same precious moments of bonding and reunion each day. So it truly meant something to have the chance to recreate the experience during such a momentous and special time as Christmas with those who still could be together. We also did the same type of thing at Thanksgiving, but not to the same extent we did it at Christmas. With ten days off together between Christmas Eve and the weekend after New Year’s Day, we didn’t eat out once or skip one meal being together. We planned times and made that effort to share our meals, regardless the schedules we had to keep or the errands we had to run. 

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Some people might balk at such an effort these days! After all, don’t we all enjoy time away from one another? And surely, when we have our divided, blended, absentee, broken and any other manner of family, it would seem corny or almost impossible to do such a thing as bring family together at meals! Well, with time’s passage, I care more about what matters to my family and loved ones. And we valued this time, these efforts to connect and be with one another; and we also know that nothing, including time, is promised or guaranteed for any of us in the years ahead! We wouldn’t have traded that time and the simplicity of meals at home for any other manner of sharing this recent special week together! I’m so thankful for one more year having had that opportunity with dears, cooking and taking care of them in ways they don’t get to appreciate often, if at all, during the rest of their year. It meant something, it invoked sweet memories of loved ones who’ve passed; and it will serve to connect us with new and treasured memories of this year’s holiday! Family and friends are truly the best part of the holidays; and “gifts” such as knowing their appreciation and gratitude for that time spent together is truly priceless!  Signature02

Making Changes With Faith . .

17 Thursday Sep 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Choices, Conquering Fear, Courage, Family, Giving Up, Humility, Maturity

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aging, Choices, Faith, Unconditional Love, Unselfishness

I got to visit my dear friend’s new place yesterday. Somehow it was satisfying and comforting to explore the place into which she moved after giving up so much from her other residence at this stage of her life. She is elderly, in her early 80’s. My friend didn’t want her children to go through what she had gone through with her own mother years before; having to quickly find a nursing home for her mom upon the sudden eroding of ability, mind, thinking, cognition and/or loss of faculties. So she chose to go on her own timing and by her own choice to a smaller place in a senior residence community (with assisted-care on site), where she can get ready help should it be necessary some day or any day. ANU_0310  

She left most of what she had collected in her 40+ years of living in her own home behind. Most everything she had amassed as family matriarch, along with her husband who passed away a decade ago, her sons left for the less fortunate curbside at her old house. In a lot of ways, I mourned for her decision, knowing that she didn’t really want to move or change address after all this time. She enjoys her freedom, lamenting having to be accountable to staff at her new place for safety sake; and her house was her connection to her deceased husband and many memories of prior times which have passed for good. But she did this out of love and because she didn’t want to be a burden to her children. She gave up the bigger house, the pool, the secure garage, the possessions and her freedom to move into a place where she has her own space for now; she is part of a community of seniors in transition, each learning how to face whatever is to come. Ben Franklin quote

Each of us must find our way through the minefield of life, often fraught with such discomfort and significant change that we are rendered stunned. In hopes that she has eased that stage for her sons, I give her great credit! It takes unconditional love and an unselfish heart to leave almost all you’ve treasured and gathered behind for the sake of the ease of others. It is hard to imagine rendering most everything material as inconsequential; but not when measuring the worth of such things against those most precious to your heart – your children and/or family- and their needs! It is not easy watching people change, but it is incredibly hard to watch them go. I am preparing myself for that time with her, with my own mom and with others in my life; as time itself erodes the illusion of safety nets we seem to have when we’re younger. We must learn to accept the changes, to face things with bravery, even to blaze the pathways into unknown places for the sake of love! Fortunate are those of us who also do it with faith.  Signature02

Sailing On, With Hope and Faith . .

16 Saturday May 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Choices, Courage, Faith, Hope, Life

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Faith, Growing Up, Hope, Overcoming

I used to believe that life’s simplicity emanated from an earlier, easier time. Now I realize that nothing has really ever been “simple”, it was just how I processed life happening to me and around me that has changed. When I was a child, even the biggest ordeal or disappointment soon faded into hopefulness with a childlike sense of promise for what was yet to come. As an adult, we are able to process things with a much deeper analytic nature; we view life through lenses of regret and “what if”. We consider consequences, and have experienced many more of the hard knocks life often brings just by living. So we understand our mortality, life’s wear and tear, as well as relating to our perceived failings and shortcomings. We also should understand our measure of success better, and even bring light to them via a different perspective.  imagesZFNKFINA

To “grow up” means not only a physical renouncing of what once was with our bodies, but it also means that we have accepted change within! We should know as adults that if all things were easy and safe, our lives would not have amounted to much at all in the way of inner development or growth, much less wisdom! We then should readily accept our role as student in life’s giant daily classroom. Our day as student didn’t end when we left the safety of our kindly teachers and friends in adolescence. It didn’t end when we walked a field to receive a significant diploma.    motivation-98015-1024x640

Life only progresses to bigger and more arduous learning experiences, for which we should consider ourselves suitably able to face rather than to dodge! When we dodge those challenges, walk safely without meeting them head on, or even when we accept ourselves as failures for not overcoming them, we are settling for less in life!

Life is for the over-comers! We are human beings, but we have to learn how to be human doers as well. We have to accept life coming at us like a series of uncertain waves, hitting our vessel (our being) as we venture out into the uncertain seas of circumstance around us. We may not know for sure our ability to handle all that comes our way, but trust we must and have faith we shall! For the waves of this life won’t stop until breath has left our bodies. If we look at life through our grown-up eyes, the reality is not always what we would have liked; but we had better choose to make the most with what we have while we’re still afloat! So my advice is this: sail onward all ye over-comers! Start by seeing life’s waves as opportunities to rise up with a new, improved you. Let hope and faith be your guides as life leads you onward into more complex and uncertain times and tides. Call upon that inner child’s hopeful spirit if you must!

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The World Flipping . .

01 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, Family, God, Lessons, Life, Self-Control, Self-Respect, Wisdom

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The world is officially flipping. As my grandmother said way back in the mid-nineties, aliens have taken over the bodies and minds of many average citizens. I cannot imagine how she would surmise current events and the spectacles which fill the daily news feeds all these years later. People in the asylum now have hold of the keys and are in charge of the daily management of the facility! In all good humor, I present her thesis and my amendment; but with all seriousness, I relent in this appraisal. It saddens me how far we have strayed from the moral and character-driven culture we once were for the most part. America is now a nation flipped and upside down with immorality, deceit and implausible considerations.

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We were never perfect, there was always evil and sin; but now more and more of us believe in less and less. We strive it seems to be more outlandish and to live more on the fringes of what so many deem boring and mundane. Marriage, family, faith and good character are no longer in vogue; those values and beliefs have been replaced with cultural norms which shock many of the middle of America to their core. My grandmother was ahead of her time in seeing the results of years of turning from God, of replacing family orientation with its opposite; and with vulgarity and with lewdness as a means of changing the rut of boring and common-place middle-American values and beliefs. Those traditional core beliefs were deemed oppressive and confining by a new generation of people who rebel against such structure and confines upon their own behavior. Many have given up controlling themselves in favor of instantaneous gratification and immediate pleasure. Self-control is now freely ceded for governmental constraint, too much is not enough when it comes to laws and regulations to form and shape our behaviors because we seem unable and unwilling to self-control and self-regulate; and furthermore, to accept responsibility for our own actions! And therein we find the  source of the dilemma!BetterIsPoor

So few want to be constrained and confined to the standards which living moral and character-driven lives entails. Faith, God and family are now passé! Instead we have foul, unfamiliar and upside-down/backwards as our new reality! The counter-culture now runs our schools, our media, our government and our lives; much to the chagrin of middle-America, which still clings to their family, faith and moral traditions. Fortunately, God is still in charge of the world, regardless who chooses to believe it might be so! It is. I await His correction of this upside-down/backwards and side-stepping, ego-driven society. I’m sure He is growing tired of our childish insistence that we know best, when surely the resulting chaos and instability in our world proves Him right.


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Cheryl Ries-Author & Model

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