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Category Archives: Integrity

Be True to You!

31 Sunday May 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Confidence, Integrity, Maturity, Self-Control, Self-Respect

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Authenticity, Maturity, Self-Respect

When I was little, my mother told me that it was much more important to be myself than to seek the acceptance or permission of others, altering my behavior and beliefs accordingly. She assured me that I would always be alright and loved as long as I first maintained my own integrity by being genuine, self-accepting and self-loving. And so it is with life, (another “Mom” point I have had to give her), we are supposed to develop who we are from within; assessing our thoughts, words and actions in accordance with what we know, learn and process.authentic-quote

We’re meant to determine for ourselves what it is that we believe and live within the confines of those beliefs. We’re supposed to discover our own talents and abilities based on what it is we can do, regardless what others have as gifts and natural talents. We’re meant to learn and to develop our minds, our bodies and our spirits as we’re able to, as we’re all unique and individual. We aren’t meant to listen to the prevailing dialogue, or be swayed by the winds of the times as though what we know or believe has no weight. We are not all supposed to think alike, dress alike, walk alike or talk alike! We might change our beliefs and adapt our skills according to our experiences and by what we’ve learned over time. We might even have significant shifts in what we hold to be true based on just growing up or having lived through certain life-changing moments.  But we’re to be true to ourselves, regardless the influences of others or the pressure they can exert. If we aren’t true to ourselves, not only will others find us unappealing, but we won’t even have the comfort of liking ourselves!


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So the surest way to be in life is 100% okay with who we are as people. If we act in ways that we cannot accept or which compromise our integrity, we’ll note within a sense of unbalance or ill-rhythm. It is inevitable, as my mother promised . . we must first develop the core of who and what we are from within; building a solid foundation on which to create our lives. Then we are to live our life in the manner in which we’ve set our beliefs, established our boundaries and determined our abilities. Let no one dictate to you their moral sense or lack thereof. Let no other person make you feel bad for having a varied set of beliefs or for making mistakes.  Accept the responsibility for choosing to live in accordance with your own values, beliefs and abilities; as well as the consequences for faulty choices in the process. Let no one tell you how to live your life! It is yours to live, even with mistakes, chances and mishaps. Own it all and live it with a determined will to be faithful to who and what you are!


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Many these days are involved in censoring and even condemning others for values, beliefs and lifestyles which differ from their own; yet in their censorship or condemnation, they still cannot take on the weight of the responsibility for success, failures or consequences outside of their own. Learning to live with confidence and self-assurance, as well as self-acceptance, enables us to better mind our own business; as our security with our own life choices makes us better able to give others the same level of respect in theirs!  Signature02

Living A Whole Life, With Integrity . .

27 Friday Mar 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Contentment, Discipline, Integrity, Maturity, Wisdom

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Integrity, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

Think about all the ways we compartmentalize our lives, easily and willfully. We can often even seem to be different people in various places and with certain others. It is surely a source of difficulty for us when we develop the habit of being one person in one situation and another for others. How can we learn to be authentic, to know our true worth and to respect who we are if we’re always morphing the “who” for the sake of the where, when or why? To be the most authentic, self-aware and self-fulfilled soul, we must learn to develop a foundation of beliefs, values and character traits which affirm our essence from the inside out. We might evolve through those aspects, beliefs and values as we mature; but we stay firmly tethered to all of that as a means of not losing our way in life.   20130407-021605

 

When we compartmentalize our beliefs, values or alter our character to suit the situation or to fit in with others, we erode our own sense of assuredness in who we are! That is our integrity, the truth we know about ourselves. And that is a terribly high price to pay for wanting to fit in or for wishing we were cool! Staying true to ourselves is the one parameter we must never cease in upholding; for when we do, we also cross an infinite continuum of others! If we lie to ourselves, if we will compromise our own virtue, if we will cede our own respect and if we will not love ourselves enough to protect our being, then we surely won’t do that for others or feel the need to give them the same manner of respect! So the importance of holding firmly with discipline and self-control into a set of parameters whereby our lives by action, word, thought and deed affirm what we’ve stated or postured about our beliefs, values and character is imperative to our health, well-being and overall survival. People say, “But it’s just this once!” or “I don’t think it will matter in the long run!”, or “what difference does it make what I do?” But what those people don’t imagine is the price paid each and every time they erode from within the measures by which self-esteem, self-respect and self- assurance maintain integrity! When integrity is lost, all is lost!

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So no matter what we might think of small diversions from our true selves, they are long-lasting, impactful and often detrimental to our long-term peace of mind and inner contentment! Guilt, shame, self-abasement and all sorts of consequences come upon a soul burdened by a lifetime of baggage which was brought on one’s self. With wisdom comes the manner by which we learn to be unified in character and purpose through all areas of our life, we learn that we cannot be one thing in this area and another over here. We must be authentic and committed to being exactly what we believe, think and know we are, in every situation and in every aspect of our lives!  Signature02

Keep Reaching, Keep Striving!

22 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Commitment, Integrity, Lessons, Patience, Self-Control

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Discipline, goals, Self-Control

Sometimes we’re so close to things, we can almost reach out and touch them, taste them, experience the glorious rewards of our efforts! But we’re still not quite there yet. We know that our proximity to achievement and accomplishment, as well as all the time we’ve spent, calls out to us like a siren’s call; but in our eagerness for success and our anticipation to be finished, we shouldn’t give up on our efforts or relax in our pursuits just yet. The finish line awaits! Who wants to run almost the entire race but fail to cross the finish line? 45-Are-Your-Excuses-Greater-Than-Your-Dreams

The reason that success is so rewarding is the uplift and positivity that it brings to our souls. It feels good to accomplish and to achieve, to reach our goals and to finish our pursuits. And it feels even better to have that success after putting in more time and more effort, before we just give up or throw in the towel part way there. We gain a lot more when we hold ourselves to the test at hand with patience and fortitude, by our own will, for our own sake through discipline! We gain a far greater measure of success for the greater expenditure of effort, time and perseverance with which we invest ourselves into our own goals and dreams. But even more so, we gain an intangible boost to our integrity for having kept the promises we make to ourselves! And that is the reward which does the most in feeding our sense of self and our confidence in self!    88744-Working+out+quotes+health+and+

Reaching for the stars may seem more difficult and costly than reaching for less. Holding ourselves to account for the state of our lives gives us pause, when we realize that by our own fear, apathy, or lack of commitment, we accepted much less in life than what we were capable of achieving and accomplishing. If you are on your way towards something, having set a goal based on a desire or dream, don’t quit when those sirens call out to you! Stay the course and see your dreams through! Nothing worth having is going to be easy, or we wouldn’t then give it such infinite value in our lives! Ease isn’t a good enough reason to not reach higher, take extra steps or to go the distance. And your integrity should remind you that discipline, effort and time invested in yourself is a prize worth holding onto regardless!        Signature02

Giving Yourself the Best Gift in Life!

03 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Choices, Commitment, Discipline, God, Integrity, Life, Love, Self-Respect, Strength

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Confidence, Love, Self-Esteem

The best gift you can give yourself this new year is just a commitment to be the best you that you can be, regardless the resolutions or the dates on any calendar. For to be endearing to oneself is to live authentically, looking out for what is best and not sacrificing what lies within for anything external. What is best for our lives doesn’t reflect the hopes and dreams of anyone else in any other way but us. 389700_143684792428166_1758732618_n

Our life is a grand work of physical, emotional and behavioral artistry, created, designed and shaped ’til perfection by our handiwork. Our life is the collective workings of God’s mastery brought into being through us and every choice we’ve made since. And now that we’re responsible, it’s up to us to master the every day decisions, choices, parameters and emotions which help us to create the inner and outer being of our heart’s desire. When choosing all of that, don’t look at the current trends or try to reshape your life to resemble those of others. They didn’t start with your gifts or your talents or even looking like you! We are all gifted with lives uniquely and independently formed. Why would we seek to make ourselves anything other than us?! 59883870015945867_v4vbtfZ1_c

Our greatest aspiration each new day should be to live authentically in the way we are made to be; with our dreams the priorities which motivate our actions and our behaviors. Our inside growth is more important than anything we shape and do on the outside, for transforming from the inside out gives us the power to work with everything we have, everything that happens and every change which may come to influence us from within and on the outside. If we encounter something life-altering in our journey, we then have the strength, integrity and self-love first from within to not let it change us as we are. We must hold fast in personal integrity, which means staying true to who we are regardless what comes to pass, what happens in our lives or even what may alter our physical being! How does someone lose a part of themselves, say an arm or a leg, and not become someone else in the process? It’s because they are first aware of what lies within, loving that person inside and out! 

If we know we are masterpieces first created by God’s hand, then all of our choices from then on become about making our own lives the reflection of that thankfulness and honor we believe He deserves for that! Living your best life means standing up for what you believe, doing what you must to maintain your being inside and out, as well as loving oneself enough to know each choice and every step reflects all of that!    Signature02

Facing the Storms, Fearlessly . .

22 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Discipline, Integrity, Life, Self-Esteem

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character, Courage, Fear

 

 

It’s often fear, worry or doubt which makes us run from challenges, storms and the random turmoil of life; but then it’s failure, regret and insufficient results with which we are left in their wake! A part of us always loses when we walk (or run!) away from a challenge, cower in the face of our storms or let the circumstances of life keep us from living our life to the fullest measure. Pieces of our own integrity are lost, chunks of our self-confidence are eroded, and our own belief in our abilities is etched away.

 

Each challenge, storm, or difficult circumstance which we encounter in this life serves as an opportunity to provide to us so much in the way of personal growth and development. But not if we let fear, worry or self-doubt keeps us from facing it head on or ultimately conquering it. Every time we let those emotions win, we fail to realize the rewards of improved confidence, awareness and self-esteem for having bested them! A big life lesson is learned every time we push through . . accepting our challenges and relishing the lessons inherent in them!

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Many people choose to claim their challenges, their miseries and their life’s turmoil as badges of honor; but the real badge of honor is in beating it down and in besting it all! It’s in the overcoming where we become so much more than we imagined! So many people keep track of their losses, their failures, their miseries and the discord of life so that they can use the tally as an excuse to stay safely where they are; rather than realizing those same events and challenges provide opportunity for growth, change and understanding!

The fight to overcome what comes at us in life with courage and willful tenacity rewards us with confident, purposeful and deliberate growth, enhanced stability and assurances from within! School is in session each new day . . make it your goal to pass the tests of life as they appear with courage and tenacity; and to continue in developing your own potential as you progress through the years!

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The Muscles of Courage

04 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faith, Fear, Integrity, Lessons

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Mindmap-50Our world takes great courage to live! I suspect it always has. These times are not meant for the shrinking violets, who only utilize their courage muscles when the grass is green, the rains fall gently and everything is going their way! These times are meant for those who look into the vast, darkened expanses of the unknown and the uncertain – fearful – yet conditioned by their own courage to face them. We are truly nothing if we succumb to every emotion which we might feel, such as fear; or if we walk away from every challenge and believe ourselves unworthy of every effort. We are tougher than we know, as we haven’t faced all of our challenges yet! Fear, and all the other emotions which prompt us to retreat in life, is just like the monster which hid under our bed as children. We had to learn to make our peace with that monster by facing our fears, or we wouldn’t have had much sleep!

It is no different as we age; we must face our fears or let them rule the vast unseen spaces of our life with monster CatLion-50force! Courage is the most necessary tool we have in our inner arsenals to face life, at all times. Without it, we become enslaved to the uncertainty and unknowns of life at almost every turn; because we are slaves first to our own fearful thoughts and emotions when we encounter those types of situations. With courage, we not only learn how to feel fear, but we develop muscles which allow us to press through those feelings! Courage is the belief that what lies under the bed is not nearly as scary to us, as the sense of lying in our beds safely and comfortably is great for us! Courage is going out into the world, uncertain and seemingly fearful of whatever danger and unknown awaits us; but believing that going out is worth doing so nonetheless!

stand strong-25What lies on the other side of our fears, because we have courage and faith, is the reward for standing strong in the face of our fears. Like any muscle, courage developed within us, gives us the strength, the ability and the assurance to look even our worst fear in the eye and defeat it with faith and confidence! But that comes only when we continually exercise those muscles of courage we have within us! Truly courage, like all of our muscles, must be used or lost!      

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Counter-Culture Becomes the Norm . .

01 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Ethics, Family, God, Integrity, Life

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beatnikpartySomehow a few years ago, being seen as counter-culture became the equivalent of being cool, hip or just desirable. So many of our society’s malcontents and some actual convicted criminals were all of a sudden thrust into the spotlight of applause and hero-status, when in fact they’re just malcontents and criminals. Many now have celebrity status in our culture, or at least hold honorable positions as instructors to our children, professors to our emerging citizenry, esteemed office-holders within our cities and nation . .  even though they once were just ignoble – and often convicted criminals – bombers, murderers or thieves. It is one thing to see the truly oppressed rise up, conquering their oppressors heroically; it’s entirely something else to take an ignoble and deceitful history, turning it into something it is not. And that is what has happened in our nation in many instances.

We’ve seen the rise of the counter-culture, revolutionary in not the best regards; grow up and become the educators, politicians and revered in our nation. Change is not always negative, and that is not why I’m trying to confer. And people who once were one thing can and do grow up and become better.  But this change which has Rebels-With-a-Cause-8brought to a lauded staged, those who felt so strongly in their own immoral beliefs so as to kill, mutilate, bomb and destroy through deceitful pursuits other innocent people is negative! How sad! I wish we as a society recognized the attributes of those who were just normal and boring for their virtue, character and belief in justice, civility and conventional perspectives. But we relegate them to the new criminal status of our culture by vilifying that in which we should be giving praise and thanks! Suddenly, those with conservative or moral beliefs are the culprits for all of our societal wrongs. All too often those who act in accord with their civil and sworn duty are painted as terrorists. And now even, the very structure of our national fabric, faith, family and stability is cursed and loathed rather than just given its space to “co-exist”. Hmm. I’d say those counter-culture criminals and malcontents are truly smart, for they managed by virtue of their celebrity status and positions of honor to change a nation’s view of itself, based Truthon nothing more than a series of endeavors to undermine what held it together in the first place. We’ve flipped our perspective as a nation, a culture and as people . . what was counter now seems cool and what is conventional is now portrayed as evil. So now, without the very glue which once held us together, we slowly and steadily erode. I am now, and will always remain, firmly and perhaps boringly affixed to my conventional belief in God and follow His rules for my life. I’m of the belief that humans might not have it all figured out in their own best interests, and my nation these days is proof . . usually humans, when left to their own ego-centered pursuits, just do whatever they want without any fear of repercussion. And so chaos and mayhem ensue.

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Humility is the Key!!

16 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Humility, Integrity, Kindness

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humility with frame-25 Humility enables us to accept the flaws, mistakes, poor choices, bad habits, unwise thoughts and imperfections of ourselves so that we may be able to say, “I’m sorry” to others when our mistakes effect them, or to develop beyond whomever we are now or to achieve some greater state of wisdom and growth.

Humility is the key to accepting our own equal state of humanity with that of others. Without first being humble, we cannot then be empathetic, sympathetic, compassionate, kind, gentle, loving or honest. We must be willing to be openly humble to speak earnestly, with integrity, as well as to accept our trial-and-error course in life.

We will fail, we will falter, we will not be the best, or the most . . . the prettiest, the most handsome, the wealthiest, the most talented, etc. But when we’re genuinely humble enough to acknowledge that we’re on a journey to become more and to do better, even with our imperfections, we’re in the right frame of mind to accept ourselves as well as others. With humility, we know we aren’t always going to be right, we won’t always know things, we aren’t always expecting to be or to have or to do . . with humility we just are!


humility2-smallHumility is as defined by Merriam-Webster: hu·mil·i·ty noun hyü-ˈmi-lə-tē, yü- : the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people : the quality or state of being humble

And humble: 1hum·ble adjective ˈhəm-bəl also chiefly Southern ˈəm-
1: not proud : not thinking of yourself as better than other people
2: given or said in a way that shows you do not think you are better than other people
3: showing that you do not think of yourself as better than other people

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Its A Chance For Discovery…

29 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Ethics, Faith, Fullness, Gentleness, Happiness, Inspiration, Integrity, Joy, Kindness, Life, Love, Wisdom

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Remember today as you go out into the world of discovery, that some souls might be fragile, heartbroken, saddened in grief, feeling fear or suffering in some other way. Inside, they may be impacted by events in which we haven’t any knowledge or awareness, nor for which we see any obvious signs externally. We might not know exactly what others are enduring, but we can be compassionate in our journey, kind in our steps thus giving others respect, patience, our love & our best first so that if they’re suffering in some way, we seem to them to be safe waters in their already stormy lives.

I remember the days right after my father died unexpectedly so many years ago . . I was feeling so vulnerable and broken that I felt I was operating at a different speed than the rest of the world, into which I had to venture out routinely, especially since it was fairly close to Christmas. But when I encountered – amidst the busy-ness and frenetic pace – kind people with loving hearts and gentle smiles, I felt somehow safer and less fragile.Being kind, compassionate, gentle, patient and loving isn’t always easy and sometimes seems in opposition to the events of our day and perhaps even our moods as a result, but we truly never know what others are enduring! We should endeavor to give the world our best for one day it might be us who needs theirs in return.                                                                         kindpeoplearebest

We should endeavor to give the world our best for one day it might be us who needs theirs in return. And we should try to see and to believe the best of others because we don’t know their full story. What might seem standoffish to us, may be someone trying to hold themselves together for the sake of not breaking down!s fragile. Being kind, compassionate, gentle, patient and loving isn’t always easy and sometimes seems in opposition to the events of our day and perhaps even our moods as a result, but we truly never know what others are enduring!

fruit-of-the-spirit_25These are the fruits of our spirit from Galatians 5:22-23, nine things in which we already are amply endowed, may we practice them today and everyday when we meet one another as strangers or even as friends: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

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We are so Focused…

27 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Courage, Faithfulness, Integrity, Self-Control, Strength, Success, Wisdom

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blog_tsunami-50We’re so focused on what we’ll become that we often forget to develop fully first what we are. You cannot build a big, busy building upon a weak foundation. It will ultimately crumble from the weight of itself. Without a foundation based in integrity, without doing things the right way, any edifice built might look good from the outside, but the innermost facets will fall into weakness, decay, and then ultimately ruination.

You cannot live exclusively for the sake of your flesh ignoring your inner structure of soul and spirit, for like the building erected without proper foundational support, you will falter, grow weak, and further erode until you collapse. You must build your life’s foundation first, and then work on building the rest from that! What makes a great foundationThe Ability-50 for each of us personally? Well that varies by choice, be degree & by our history. But the common components of foundational strength are those of character – integrity, ethics, respect, honesty, confidence, kindness & responsibility, to name a few – which are the constant ingredients to a solid foundation upon which to build a successful, strong & busy life!

We are empowered to live and to grow as well through our connection to God, having faith and a desire to honor Him in our endeavors. As Aristotle mused, “We are what we repeatedly do!” If we make it our goal to build up our foundation as we endeavor to build our lives by repetitive practice, we will then be compelled to seek those things which foster our growth, fuel our success and enhance the possibility of achieving our goals. The nature of a life based on such superficial matters as our flesh and what feeds and fosters it, with no purposeful desire to grow, to mature or to develop fully the spirit and soul, is always one which is more limited.

With integrity and other solid character components in place as a part of our foundation, we make all our choices and take all our steps in accordance to the barriers and parameters we’ve established accordingly. Integrity prevents us from going beyond our own preset limits in behavior, thought and in our speech. Integrity compels us to act with discipline. We censor ourselves and self-discipline because maintaining our integrity is tantamount to our venturing beyond those limits.

stability-and-loyalty-with-two-trees-25The focus of our life is often skewed towards that which brings the most instantaneous satisfaction – that being on things which serve our flesh and its needs first. But the life built on a solid foundation, which nurtures the growth, maturity and the development of our body as well as our spirit and soul, will prove to be the key to a longer-lasting and more-rewarding life over all!

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