Category Archives: Patience

Tunnel of Experience

10 Saturday Nov 2018

Posted by in Attitude, Change, Choices, Family, Lessons, Maturity, Patience, Persistence, Pride, Success, Truth, Wisdom

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Our own ability to understand something doesn’t affect its value, veracity, or function in the world. Often times, our limited vision and perspective shaped by our particular experiences emboldens us to render strong opinions on things in which we truly have no knowledge or awareness! We often get into unnecessary conflicts with others as a result of our own lack of awareness or misinformation, living in our own tunnel of experience.  

As a child, my dad would quiz us kids on math from the time we were quite young because he had a wonderful ability to process numbers quickly in his mind, with what seemed a “calculator” inherently gifted within. He was sharing one of his gifts with us through those pop quizzes. When I was really little, the nightly spot exam (esp. with calculus problems) made little to no sense to me as the youngest, causing me some frustration. But I didn’t give up because of that, I learned to be humble in those moments of frustration. As time passed and my learning curve expanded, I grew to truly appreciate much more of what he was trying to teach us through his pop quizzes. We all went on to take four years of math in HS when only one was required!

Often, it’s our own inability or arrogant refusal during moments of frustration to push through it all, stretching our minds to consider what might actually be possible or really be true. And that leads to further frustration as we judge things we see or experience by only what we know at the time! We rail on people about things which are simply above our understanding, vilifying them for actually be more educated or experienced on certain topics or on particular life subjects. When you are conflicted like that by the actions, words, or beliefs of others, first look within. Live with the humility to learn, to grow, to expand and change your mind, to see life outside your own tunnel of experience.  

Baby Steps or Giant Leaps . .

07 Friday Jul 2017

Posted by in Attitude, Commitment, goals, Life, Patience, Persistence, Positivity, Success

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Often times, the person we’re hardest on in this life is ourselves! We set high goals or we have lofty expectations, which can lead us to feel disappointed when we come in with lesser achievements and accomplishments. Perhaps we’re in the process of reaching for more, of going for grander distances, pursuits, and for more overall. We might have wanted to hit some higher mark or reach some bigger result, but we mustn’t forget what baby steps or giant leaps we did take in pursuit of those goals! 

Yesterday, I was wanting to swim a significant distance. I planned on doing a distance swim which would have kept me moving towards an end goal I have for this season’s accomplishments. Last Summer, I had worked up to slightly over two miles of non-stop lap swimming in my pool by the end of the swimming season. I was thrilled to have reached that significant measured distance without stopping! So, this Summer, when the swimming season began back in May, I set out to beat my distance of last year. As of July 4th, just a few days ago, I reached the two-mile mark for non-stop lap swimming in my backyard pool! Pleased as punch with hitting that measurement, I will now endeavor to exceed that goal in my swimming for the remainder of the Summer. In pursuit of that goal though, yesterday’s swim was not as rewarding! I had to stop at 60 lengths of non-stop swimming, as I just ran out of steam before even hitting half a mile! I surely hadn’t fueled my body with proper nutrition for a longer swim. 

With such a brief swim in comparison to my two-mile swim just days ago, I felt disappointed and discouraged afterward. How was it that I could only do so few lengths of the pool just two days later? Well, in hindsight, I realize I am being really hard on myself for disparaging the swim I did yesterday. After all, those lengths I did swim without stopping still are significant! Yes, I wanted to do more, but I just couldn’t. However, I did swim anyway, which was better than not swimming at all! And I pushed myself during those 60 lengths of the pool, so I did give myself a workout in the process, although an abbreviated one compared to the longer swim I had planned on doing! Each swim does contribute to my overall conditioning and my training goals, after all. I just need to accept each day’s efforts as being worthwhile! Going easier on myself is key.  

It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves for not doing more or for not reaching interim goals we’ve set for ourselves. We forget to look at those interim steps we’re taking as being meaningful to the overall end goal. Every single step, no matter the size, is still getting us closer to something bigger. Every single time we participate in our pursuits, we’re developing literal or figurative muscles, which do help us perform more the next time! In my example, I am developing those literal swimming muscles and building my endurance, even if the distances I want to do aren’t always exceeding the last swim I actually did. And, each swim I take keeps me fit and ready for more, as my muscles remember the efforts both greater and lesser. 

We must remember to look at all the steps we’re taking as being successful, in that we’re moving consistently towards a goal ahead, even if some steps are baby-size and others are giant leaps! Each is a contribution towards reaching a goal we deem important for our lives overall! Remember to assess your progress in a way which is more accepting of the baby steps as well as the giant leaps. In doing that, you will be better able to contain your disappointment, to manage your progress, and to preserve your sense of encouragement along the way! Goals are always something we’re working towards, and in my case, even though I hit the goal of swimming non-stop consistently for two miles, I will want to see how much further I can swim non-stop anyway! My goal is inevitably a sliding one, and so my progress should be measured in turn – via sliding steps and flexible efforts! As long as I don’t give up because I don’t always hit my mark, I’m still moving forward towards reaching some end! Baby steps or giant leaps, I’m still making progress!    

Old-School Tools . .

21 Wednesday Jun 2017

Posted by in aging, Attitude, Change, Gardening, Lessons, Nature, Outdoors, Patience

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I have a love/hate relationship with yard blowers! I can see the need for them, really I can. But they also create a lot of noise and racket in lieu of using the quieter, slightly less efficient rake. I am usually a rake person, choosing the quieter and less efficient means just because it’s an old school tool and doesn’t make so much racket! On mornings like this, however, I could have pulled out my leaf blower and gone to town!  

My neighbors aren’t as timely in leaf removal, so often times, what I am raking up is actually the leaf debris from trees on their side of the property line. This morning, I realized I have raked up leaves on one side of my property repeatedly the last few months. Today, it finally dawned on me that the majority of those leaves were from my neighbor’s tree. Upon examining the situation, I came to the conclusion that I would be raking every couple of weeks given how windy our Summers can be. The only solution is to rake up their leaves as well!

I would never tell my neighbors (who are also my dear friends) that this was my plan, as I wouldn’t want them to feel bad about any additional work I’m doing because of them. Since I have to rake up my yard anyway, why not take the extra time to rake up the leaves hovering nearby under their plants?! Those leaves would eventually find their way into my yard, so it just makes sense for both my neighbor and me! I’m raking the leaves up on my side anyway, so I might as well do theirs too!  

But as I started, I realized how much my leaf blower would have made efficient work of the effort. Leaves were piled high underneath several plants in the watering wells where the rake wouldn’t fit, and a blower would have done the job in mere minutes! Unfortunately for me, it was too early and far too quiet on our street to make that much racket! And so, I have again renewed my love/hate of the yard blower! I have one, but almost never use it because of the loud din it produces when doing so. My metal-tined rake is one of the most used tools I have! I’m sure all the landscaping crews working for all my other neighbors never give such things much thought, they are paid to do their job and use the tools necessary to do that work efficiently. I hear the sounds of lawn mowers and blowers almost daily on our street! But I obviously over think the noise produced by that pesky leaf blower to the point that it gathers dust on my garage shelving! 

I really hope to make peace with that gizmo, as it probably does make a gardener’s life easier and work more efficient! It’s the same inner turmoil I had last month when I borrowed my neighbor’s battery-powered pruning saw to make some quick cuts through a large fallen tree limb after sweating for a while on it with a hand-held tool. My manual pruning saw was a lot more fatiguing and time-consuming! One day, perhaps I will go new-school and realize how much easier my life will be in the process! Some day. 

Two Weeks Notice . .

24 Monday Apr 2017

Posted by in Attitude, Choices, Empathy, Escape, Family, Gratitude, Lessons, Patience

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For most jobs you want to quit, you are advised to give a minimum two weeks notice. It’s considered polite and professional, as it enables both parties to contend with the shifting situation of the working relationship. An employee leaving his or her employment is giving the employer ample time to deal with the change in staffing. And an employer has that time to prepare, to replace, or to alter their staffing needs to accommodate such a change, if necessary. But there is one thing for which two weeks notice already seems too long and much too generous, and that is for a cold! I and other family members have had a cold now for two weeks, as of yesterday. We’re all more-than-ready to give this pesky illness our two weeks notice!  

Now let me interject first that I am usually never sick! I haven’t had a cold or any communicable illness for several years now. I don’t suffer from allergies, and I have a fairly strong immune system. But somehow, I brought this pesky and brutally persistent cold into this house. It could have been accidental contact with a “carrier”, and after the past two weeks, I would be prone to consider anyone who passed this beast on as such, HAHA! It could have been that I brought this on myself by working so hard in my garden in early April, preparing the landscape for the new warmer season ahead. For two weeks, I pruned, raked, swept, removed, and amended the landscape after Winter’s wear and tear. Perhaps something I breathed in during a profuse blooming season such as this one, or just the daily act of breathing in dust and spores firsthand, left me susceptible to spores, germs, or whatnot! However it came to pass, I can assure you this cold has worn out its welcome by now! 

For two solid weeks, I have done nothing much more than cough, sneeze, blow, rest and whine. And my family members have been my echoes in those activities! There isn’t much more we have felt like doing, even missing our Easter Sunday planned activities, and now we have passed the point of being tolerant of this forced schedule any longer. We didn’t want to spread this to others, so we endeavored to do as little as possible with our healthy friends, family, and strangers.  I admit readily that I am a most impatient patient! In fact, my family members and I have often discussed this particular version of the cold, pondering how we could be so done in by it. We’ve wondered if it is the gift that will keep on giving much longer, as we’ve had enough of all the symptoms and the remedies! But we have also pondered how those with chronic illness persist over time, enduring what they must with patience. This last two-week period with this cold has taught me to be immensely grateful for being so healthy usually, and to not take that normal state for granted ever! It has reminded me how wonderful it is to feel good! And of course, it has given me a whole new level of empathy and sympathy for those who must contend with health concerns far scarier, more intense, and more physically devastating than a cold! After all, in the grand scheme of things, a cold is relatively minor and we can envision the foreseeable future without it!  

But officially, I have given this cold my two weeks notice! I want to sever our ties, and break free from its hold upon my body and my life once and for all. I have things to do, places to go … well, you know the story! Two weeks just seems like long enough for a pesky cold with all its attending details. I don’t want to blow my nose, cough, take medicine or rest any longer. Time to move on, and I’ve given it enough time in all fairness. We all have! Since I gave this beast to my family members, as I was clearly the first one sick, I have also endured the guilt and shame of having passed such a monster to them! My mother, who also got sick while fussing over me, has proclaimed this the worst cold she has ever endured! Now surely giving your elderly mother such a beast as this is not something in which a daughter can be proud?! Today’s the day, it’s two weeks later, I’m moving on and so are the members of my family. We’re severing our ties with this particular virus! Adios, au revoir, auf wiedersehen and a big ciao to this two-week lesson in patient endurance! We’re surely saying our goodbyes with our renewed gratitude and our heightened empathy, lessons learned from our pesky “teacher”.   

 

A Banner Year . .

22 Saturday Apr 2017

Posted by in Beauty, Blessings, God, Hope, Life, Nature, Patience, Seasons, Surprise

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This is truly a banner year for plants blooming! I found two plants in my yard today which haven’t bloomed in a really long time or ever. The joy in seeing something finally blooming which isn’t a common bloomer is significant. It took a patient mind, heart, and soul to wait for those plants to bloom! A gardener has to be patient though, for gardening is rife with uncontrollable uncertainties and living matter, including plants, has plentiful imperfections. The lifespan of plants isn’t really in our control, though we like to think we have a significant part in the health and well-being of our plants! There are weather extremes, irregular rainfall, disease and pest problems to worry about. Each day and every season bring new challenges, especially in a harsh desert environment like this!  

One of those plants blooming this Spring after a long period sans blooms is my Jacaranda tree, which just a few years after planting, suffered from a Winter of several touches of hard frost, requiring that it had to be severely cut back. After a slow, prolonged renewal, that Jacaranda is blooming once again! When I noticed the vibrant purple blooms, I ran outside to get a few photos. It’s been something I waited a long time to see, with hopeful expectancy! And this morning, there they were, glorious purple trumpet-shaped flowers in clusters upon several branches! For me, those blooms were answered prayers! That Jacaranda tree is one of my favorites, and I truly had to endure several years of waiting to see its beauty renewed. My patience was rewarded today for sure.

Another plant which is beginning to bloom today is a variegated Duranta which had never bloomed before. The foliage is stellar, the plant has been thriving and growing like gangbusters, but there were never any blooms prior to now! I’m not sure why this variety has never bloomed before. I have other Durantas which have bloomed every year and even several times a year. But I didn’t mind, as the foliage and shape of the plant have been very pleasing over the years. I almost forgot what the plant’s flowers were supposed to look like. But seeing the buds opening up now, I realize that the flowers of this variety are as special as the unique foliage! The smaller purple flowers on Wisteria-like clumps have white ruffled edges in this cultivar! I am so joyful after years of waiting to finally see this plant fulfilling all the expectations I surely had when I purchased it. 

Earlier this Spring, I wandered around my garden and took photos of whatever was blooming! I did that again today, although a lot of different plants are now showing off instead of the plants which had been a month or so ago. This has been a truly rewarding Spring for beauty, fragrance, and variety in desert gardens so impacted by significant Winter rainfall and now, seasonal warmth. Things are bursting with life and most landscapes around the city, both man-made and natural, are filled with flowers, flowering shrubs, and trees heavy-laden with blooms! It’s absolutely beautiful! Each new day is surprisingly promising for my landscape’s evolving beauty. And I take great joy in witnessing each and every beautiful transformation unfolding, especially those which required a bit of my patience to behold!  

The Thrill/Agony of Life . .

08 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by in Attitude, Choices, Courage, Inspiration, Lessons, Maturity, Patience, Quitting, Second chances, Strength, Success

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Yesterday was truly the “thrill of victory and the agony of defeat” at the Rio Olympics! There was a horrible bicycle crash when the leader in the women’s race went down and laid immobile on the side of the roadway on a very steep, winding and rainy descent. She ended up breaking three vertebrae in the lumbar region of her spine. It almost appeared as though she had died as she lay there motionless, the accident was so horrible to watch! Offset that with the world-record shattering swim of Katie Ledecky and another gold for Michael Phelps, both of the American swim team; or with a 41-year old gymnast still competing in her 7th consecutive Olympics, seemingly defying aging just because she can! 

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If this teaches us anything, it is that daily life mimics the microcosm of the Olympics. One minute, we’re in our rhythm, enjoying the ride and then we’re flat on our backs (literally or figuratively), having experienced something truly random, shocking and devastating. Or we might be working daily towards some truly big goal, not sure if we’ll make the grade and capture the prize for our efforts! Yet, one day, if we commit to something, we surely will make either the goal or the changes in ourselves which occur in our attempt the prize we gain!   

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Perseverance, effort, commitment and training our minds, bodies and hearts for success are key. Whether we have a major setback, such as that bicyclist’s fall, or a great success, like Michael Phelps and the American swim team, we need to remember that life’s constant lessons continue as long as we breathe! We shall have great days, bad days, days when the sun shines on us and days when the dark cloud overhead seems eternal. But human beings are resilient, meant for unlimited potential and capable of so much more than we ourselves can even imagine, as long as we don’t give up on life when the going gets tough, or when we have known the agony of defeat!  

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Waiting While Waiting . .

16 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by in Attitude, Choices, Discipline, Lessons, Patience, Self-Control, Strength

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Waiting is often the hardest thing to do! As Tom Petty has warbled in the song, The Waiting: “The waiting is the hardest part . . Every day you see one more card . . You take it on faith, you take it to the heart . . The waiting is the hardest part . . “. We’re usually waiting for promises to be kept, waiting for dreams to come to fruition, waiting for word, waiting for action, waiting for life to reach a desirable state so that we might act, or waiting to hear some news! All the ways we wait remind us to be patient, enduring and persistent. We may have no choice but to wait, we may realize we have plenty of ways to take baby steps in the direction towards that which we await. We may just have to call upon our inner stores of strength and summon every ounce of faith and patience we have, but we shall wait over and over! And for those things worthy of waiting, the wait must prove worthy in return!   5d497d380de97067918144d3faeb9ae0

 

Expect what you may, endeavor what you might, make patient your rest when that is what you must, but in all regards know that the waiting itself brings us the gift of strength and stamina by just occurring! We build our inner selves in great part working towards and waiting for things, events, goals, and developments. We mature a lot by waiting while we keep on going! Know that whatever you faithfully await in life today, it comes only by way of your patient resolve and persistent fortitude, enduring until you no longer need wait. And then the cycle repeats, in some new way, in regards to some other matter, but such is life! In fact, often the cycle of waiting for things overlaps other matters in which we are doing the same thing – waiting some outcome, development or desired conclusion.

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Just because of how often and how much we wait in life, learning to self-discipline and self-control our emotions, reactions, and perceived endurance might come in handy! Develop fully the fruit of your Spirit that is patience, for it gives you the sustenance you need when you are waiting!    Signature02

Keep Reaching, Keep Striving!

22 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by in Character, Commitment, Integrity, Lessons, Patience, Self-Control

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Sometimes we’re so close to things, we can almost reach out and touch them, taste them, experience the glorious rewards of our efforts! But we’re still not quite there yet. We know that our proximity to achievement and accomplishment, as well as all the time we’ve spent, calls out to us like a siren’s call; but in our eagerness for success and our anticipation to be finished, we shouldn’t give up on our efforts or relax in our pursuits just yet. The finish line awaits! Who wants to run almost the entire race but fail to cross the finish line? 45-Are-Your-Excuses-Greater-Than-Your-Dreams

The reason that success is so rewarding is the uplift and positivity that it brings to our souls. It feels good to accomplish and to achieve, to reach our goals and to finish our pursuits. And it feels even better to have that success after putting in more time and more effort, before we just give up or throw in the towel part way there. We gain a lot more when we hold ourselves to the test at hand with patience and fortitude, by our own will, for our own sake through discipline! We gain a far greater measure of success for the greater expenditure of effort, time and perseverance with which we invest ourselves into our own goals and dreams. But even more so, we gain an intangible boost to our integrity for having kept the promises we make to ourselves! And that is the reward which does the most in feeding our sense of self and our confidence in self!    88744-Working+out+quotes+health+and+

Reaching for the stars may seem more difficult and costly than reaching for less. Holding ourselves to account for the state of our lives gives us pause, when we realize that by our own fear, apathy, or lack of commitment, we accepted much less in life than what we were capable of achieving and accomplishing. If you are on your way towards something, having set a goal based on a desire or dream, don’t quit when those sirens call out to you! Stay the course and see your dreams through! Nothing worth having is going to be easy, or we wouldn’t then give it such infinite value in our lives! Ease isn’t a good enough reason to not reach higher, take extra steps or to go the distance. And your integrity should remind you that discipline, effort and time invested in yourself is a prize worth holding onto regardless!        Signature02

Holding Our Own Irons To The Fires . .

19 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by in Choices, Commitment, Contentment, Discipline, Dreams, Inspiration, Patience, Self-Control

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My best days of success are those in which I have held my own irons to the fire of accomplishment. Whether or not I complete my tasks and reach my goals, each step I take in accomplishment is a success which brings me closer. The habits we form whereby we realize holding ourselves accountable, responsible and important enough in value to deserve the success we desire, are key!

images goal We make habits in various areas of our lives because those habits support our good health, our well-being and our continued contentment in life. We place ourselves in high enough regard via self-love and self-respect to desire the rewards which those daily habits bring such as healthy teeth, focused mind, spiritual soundness, or good comportment as we go out into the world. Self-love compels us to value ourselves and to respect ourselves enough to take up the necessary tasks which keep us physically, mentally and spiritually healthy to the best of our abilities!

flowers So I have learned to self-motivate, to self-propel my way to certain ends by habitually doing what I should when I should. I know what is good and bad for me; so I endeavor to do what is good more often, so that I might reap the rewards of even the smallest steps and measures of success! I don’t compare my journey with that of others in terms of where they are and where I now am; but I determine what it is I desire to have, to be or to experience in life, and work towards those ends knowing I am worth it!

No one else can move us towards that which we desire or give us the motivation for reaching our own goals. That is an internal switch we much activate. Others can help us by supporting our goals through encouragement or even assistance at times; but ultimately, it is up to us to see ourselves over the various finish lines which denote “Mission accomplished!” or “Goal achieved!”. And the best rewards are those which we sought with our fervent will and accomplished through some period of time by our own desire and actions. Success itself is a great motivator, encouraging us to do more and to strive for even beyond what we now imagine. Let your own success fuel you in life by first dreaming, next believing, and finally doing what you must to achieve those ends.  Signature02

The Recipes of Life . .

21 Friday Nov 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Choices, Confidence, Faith, Lessons, Patience, Peace, Quitting

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I am trying a new recipe this morning, and I was starting to get a bit concerned about whether or not it would work. It’s one of those with yeast, which requires a period of activation and rising to do its part. And I hope it will turn out well, but I see a parallel with life in this simple task of hoping in the yeast to do its part. Life for the most part is a series of actions, purposeful and not, which add up to some outcomes and consequences which either seem positive or negative by our appraisal. So life is just a sequence of things we hope for and changes we make when our hopes are dashed. No big deal! 23-09-2013-00-Success-Quotes

 

Why then do we put so much emotional weight on everything we haven’t got a full grasp of control upon anyway?? Do we suppose that we’re better-fated, better-intentioned or just better than others – so that everything should go our way? Even if we’ve prayed and asked God for His favor in something, it doesn’t mean that He will agree that we’re making the right steps, moving in the right direction or are ready for whatever it is we’re looking to find, do or be! Relax; life is about starting some recipes, attempting new things, trying to make something from nothing by mixing intentions, aims and hopes all together. And if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again! Don’t get so discouraged because it wasn’t easy, perfect or natural for you. If you happen to get fortunate with whatever it is you are attempting, then great! But if it doesn’t work after a while and a few go-arounds, perhaps look for a new “recipe” or way to do what it is you wish to!178962_476497912365218_1729959021_n

 

Don’t let the emotional weight of doing, being, making and hoping overwhelm the entire process. Life is all about the trial and error, the endeavoring and the accomplishing, learning and growing in ways you might not yet have even imagined. But don’t give up hope that you’ll either make this recipe or some other way ultimately work. Discouragement doesn’t taste as good as finding the right recipe!

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