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Tag Archives: Self-Respect

Be True to You!

31 Sunday May 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Confidence, Integrity, Maturity, Self-Control, Self-Respect

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Authenticity, Maturity, Self-Respect

When I was little, my mother told me that it was much more important to be myself than to seek the acceptance or permission of others, altering my behavior and beliefs accordingly. She assured me that I would always be alright and loved as long as I first maintained my own integrity by being genuine, self-accepting and self-loving. And so it is with life, (another “Mom” point I have had to give her), we are supposed to develop who we are from within; assessing our thoughts, words and actions in accordance with what we know, learn and process.authentic-quote

We’re meant to determine for ourselves what it is that we believe and live within the confines of those beliefs. We’re supposed to discover our own talents and abilities based on what it is we can do, regardless what others have as gifts and natural talents. We’re meant to learn and to develop our minds, our bodies and our spirits as we’re able to, as we’re all unique and individual. We aren’t meant to listen to the prevailing dialogue, or be swayed by the winds of the times as though what we know or believe has no weight. We are not all supposed to think alike, dress alike, walk alike or talk alike! We might change our beliefs and adapt our skills according to our experiences and by what we’ve learned over time. We might even have significant shifts in what we hold to be true based on just growing up or having lived through certain life-changing moments.  But we’re to be true to ourselves, regardless the influences of others or the pressure they can exert. If we aren’t true to ourselves, not only will others find us unappealing, but we won’t even have the comfort of liking ourselves!


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So the surest way to be in life is 100% okay with who we are as people. If we act in ways that we cannot accept or which compromise our integrity, we’ll note within a sense of unbalance or ill-rhythm. It is inevitable, as my mother promised . . we must first develop the core of who and what we are from within; building a solid foundation on which to create our lives. Then we are to live our life in the manner in which we’ve set our beliefs, established our boundaries and determined our abilities. Let no one dictate to you their moral sense or lack thereof. Let no other person make you feel bad for having a varied set of beliefs or for making mistakes.  Accept the responsibility for choosing to live in accordance with your own values, beliefs and abilities; as well as the consequences for faulty choices in the process. Let no one tell you how to live your life! It is yours to live, even with mistakes, chances and mishaps. Own it all and live it with a determined will to be faithful to who and what you are!


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Many these days are involved in censoring and even condemning others for values, beliefs and lifestyles which differ from their own; yet in their censorship or condemnation, they still cannot take on the weight of the responsibility for success, failures or consequences outside of their own. Learning to live with confidence and self-assurance, as well as self-acceptance, enables us to better mind our own business; as our security with our own life choices makes us better able to give others the same level of respect in theirs!  Signature02

Living A Whole Life, With Integrity . .

27 Friday Mar 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Contentment, Discipline, Integrity, Maturity, Wisdom

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Integrity, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

Think about all the ways we compartmentalize our lives, easily and willfully. We can often even seem to be different people in various places and with certain others. It is surely a source of difficulty for us when we develop the habit of being one person in one situation and another for others. How can we learn to be authentic, to know our true worth and to respect who we are if we’re always morphing the “who” for the sake of the where, when or why? To be the most authentic, self-aware and self-fulfilled soul, we must learn to develop a foundation of beliefs, values and character traits which affirm our essence from the inside out. We might evolve through those aspects, beliefs and values as we mature; but we stay firmly tethered to all of that as a means of not losing our way in life.   20130407-021605

 

When we compartmentalize our beliefs, values or alter our character to suit the situation or to fit in with others, we erode our own sense of assuredness in who we are! That is our integrity, the truth we know about ourselves. And that is a terribly high price to pay for wanting to fit in or for wishing we were cool! Staying true to ourselves is the one parameter we must never cease in upholding; for when we do, we also cross an infinite continuum of others! If we lie to ourselves, if we will compromise our own virtue, if we will cede our own respect and if we will not love ourselves enough to protect our being, then we surely won’t do that for others or feel the need to give them the same manner of respect! So the importance of holding firmly with discipline and self-control into a set of parameters whereby our lives by action, word, thought and deed affirm what we’ve stated or postured about our beliefs, values and character is imperative to our health, well-being and overall survival. People say, “But it’s just this once!” or “I don’t think it will matter in the long run!”, or “what difference does it make what I do?” But what those people don’t imagine is the price paid each and every time they erode from within the measures by which self-esteem, self-respect and self- assurance maintain integrity! When integrity is lost, all is lost!

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So no matter what we might think of small diversions from our true selves, they are long-lasting, impactful and often detrimental to our long-term peace of mind and inner contentment! Guilt, shame, self-abasement and all sorts of consequences come upon a soul burdened by a lifetime of baggage which was brought on one’s self. With wisdom comes the manner by which we learn to be unified in character and purpose through all areas of our life, we learn that we cannot be one thing in this area and another over here. We must be authentic and committed to being exactly what we believe, think and know we are, in every situation and in every aspect of our lives!  Signature02

Facing the Giants We Fear . .

14 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faithfulness, Fear, God, Self-Respect, Strength, Trials

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Fear, God, Self-Respect

Fear is born from our need to process what we cannot, out of our longing to seize control when we aren’t sure we have any and through our inability to imagine how everything we might fear plays out without hurting us, irreparably changing us or negatively impacting our lives. That is fear . . it’s dreading and resenting something, someone or some set of events which represent change, disturbance and discord.

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Perhaps we fear a disease. Maybe we fear other people. Often we fear one thing so much, we refuse to do that out of fear – e.g. public speaking, flying, etc.. It might just be we fear all that is changing in our lives as we age, because we doubt our own ability to handle what comes our way. But fear is a liar. It doesn’t always adequately represent the truth of what we’re facing or even the truth of what will be. And fear is a liar in that it doesn’t take into account the power, strength, will and perseverance which might just see us through the times ahead. And fear again lies, because it forgets that we’re not alone. We have God!

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I believe it was in the movie “Facing the Giants“, (which is all about facing our daily fears and those incredible “giants” of things and people in life which we fear just because of who or what they represent) that I saw the reference to the number of times God mentions not fearing in His Word, found in the Bible. 365 separate times we’re told to not fear. I don’t expect He thought we wouldn’t feel fear or be fearful; but I believe He wanted to assure us 365 times that no matter the fear, the size of our giants or the battle ahead, we’re not alone – He is with us! Fear and our giants are not fought by us alone, He is with us. So it’s not our size, our fight or our abilities which matter. We must face things with courage, which surely takes effort and practice these days, but we can do so because of His abilities and His “size”! Don’t measure what you fear and your giants against your ability; measure the fear, the giants you face and the ability to best it all based on the all-powerful, promise-keeping and faithful Father! Give your fears their rightful rest in Him!

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Cheryl Ries-Author & Model

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