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Category Archives: Trials

Maturing is What Our Souls Do…

10 Saturday Feb 2018

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Choices, Fear, Growing, Lessons, Life, Maturity, Persistence, Purpose, Strength, Trials, Wisdom

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Maturity, Strength, Wisdom

Growing up is what our bodies do, maturing is what our souls do. When life comes at us rapidly and we don’t know how to handle what we are experiencing, it’s just life’s way of letting us know we aren’t as mature as we could be or need to be! We need to do more to prepare ourselves to deal and cope with the future challenges ahead.  

Don’t cheat yourself out of the necessary experiences which propel you to maturity by evading them or escaping from your share of responsibility for them! All of that in life which you might experience which is really difficult, painful, or frightening, cannot destroy you unless you let it. In the face of everything which feels uncomfortable and at times disturbing, you must hunker down, find your strength, persevere through, and eventually overcome! 

That is our challenge throughout life, to resolve our own dilemmas, to face our fears, to cope with our emotions, and to learn through experience the wisdom necessary to move onward even through the most difficult, life-altering, or perplexing matters. At the end of our road, with such purposeful focus, we’re sure to be as noticeably mature within as we are visibly grown on the outside!

Speak the Truth…

09 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Courage, Empathy, Encouragement, Ethics, Faith, Freedom, Inspiration, Kindness, Life, Love, Maturity, Strength, Trials, Truth

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Decision-making, Honesty, Knowledge, Lying, Reality, Truth

Sometimes we sugar coat things, thinking we’re sparing others upsets or upheavals. But, if we choose to deny anyone the truth by withholding from them the reality of a situation, we don’t really do them any service at all! Speak the truth, give the facts as you see them, relay honest appraisals whenever possible. Trust and deliver the difficult truths with kindness, compassion, and an earnest heart determined to help others.

Our challenge shouldn’t be how we can hide facts and the truth, for now, to protect someone we love from possibly being hurt, but rather our consideration should be how we can best deliver or present to others what they may need to know to make the most optimal choices for them, to face their dilemmas head-on as they are presented in life, while standing up to what they must! Some of the purposeful omitting or concealing we do may seem to soften a blow to others, but truthfully, it might also be that we don’t want to be responsible for having to give bad news or to burden another when they’re under significant duress! It might also be that in white-lying, omitting, or actually distorting reality, we are making assumptions about others which suggest that we believe them weak or incapable of facing reality. And that projection upon them might be a serious disservice to them!

The truth is truly what each of us deserves to know, process, and ruminate, even when that truth seems like a bitter pill to swallow or a hard left to our already-battered head! Some of the storms we face in this life actually provide great lessons and the impetus for significant and positive change, but if we’re always hiding in a shelter of our own making or in one provided too readily by others, we run the risk of missing those important life lessons! Not all storms can and should be evaded. They serve as necessary opportunities for individual growth and personal development! We have to give that chance to ourselves by facing each obstacle and trial in life head-on, but also others deserve that same opportunity! Honesty, reality, and truth are the power of knowing what to do, where to go, and how to proceed. The light of truth reflected in life is always preferable to the darkness of uncertainty and ill-preparedness. 

Living Takes A Will . .

23 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Choices, Commitment, Conquering Fear, Courage, Dreams, Faith, Growing, Success, Trials

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Hope, Perseverance, Persistence

Living takes a will . . one courageous, trusting and hopeful enough to overlook fear, the “what-ifs” and the scrapes of falling in failure. We cannot dare live, with our eyes closed, behind our protective walls and within our safest confines. Living means we face our fears with courage, we endeavor to meet our challenges head on and we keep climbing no matter how many times we slip or fall from this rung or the next. Living isn’t easy, without obstacle; and it surely isn’t done in the safety of our mind’s making. It takes faith, hope, trust, perseverance as well as a surrender to our inability to control every detail and every outcome. But living is worth every scraped knee we endure, each failure, all of our attempts, each broken heart or broken dream. For in getting those, we lived!  images success

No one ever experiences anything worthwhile when merely existing. Push yourself to go beyond today and every day you get by purposefully living rather than merely existing through them. How do we do that and what is the difference? Living means we are already outside of whatever comfort zone we may have set up for ourselves; it means we dare to realize our dreams, to attempt to make our desires reality and it means we don’t give up on ourselves! Living, as opposed to just existing, means that when faced with challenges, we don’t hide, run or flee. We aren’t going to outrun all of our challenges, so the sooner we learn to step up to the plate each one represents, the better. It is life-affirming, confidence-building and esteem-igniting each and every time we take life’s challenges on for the sake of passing the tests and trials each represents to us. If we run, hide, seek to escape or let others do the heavy-lifting in life, we never learn to trust in ourselves, to believe in ourselves or to have faith and hope in our future!  images5Y99UUMF

Just like with our first steps, our first developmental stages through infancy, life never ceases to present to us challenges and learning experiences which we must overcome and pass in order that we may grow and develop into new stages! And each of those new stages brings more of the same by way of tests and trials which we must learn to pass successfully in order that we grow and develop for what lies ahead. Imagine if we had chosen in our toddler years to remain helpless and infantile? No one does that because adulthood represents an promising period which prompts our desire for more. All children seem to want to leapfrog through their development, eager to grow up before their time. Why then do we suddenly find our scraped knees, fears and failures so overwhelming at some advancing age, that we wish to halt our own progress? Keep pushing through challenges, obstacles and all the mess life brings! The only person you really hurt when you let fear, doubt, insecurity or apathy win is you! Make it your goal to live today, with a will, courage, faith and hope. Don’t let life beat you back, down or out.    Signature02

Facing the Giants We Fear . .

14 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faithfulness, Fear, God, Self-Respect, Strength, Trials

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Fear, God, Self-Respect

Fear is born from our need to process what we cannot, out of our longing to seize control when we aren’t sure we have any and through our inability to imagine how everything we might fear plays out without hurting us, irreparably changing us or negatively impacting our lives. That is fear . . it’s dreading and resenting something, someone or some set of events which represent change, disturbance and discord.

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Perhaps we fear a disease. Maybe we fear other people. Often we fear one thing so much, we refuse to do that out of fear – e.g. public speaking, flying, etc.. It might just be we fear all that is changing in our lives as we age, because we doubt our own ability to handle what comes our way. But fear is a liar. It doesn’t always adequately represent the truth of what we’re facing or even the truth of what will be. And fear is a liar in that it doesn’t take into account the power, strength, will and perseverance which might just see us through the times ahead. And fear again lies, because it forgets that we’re not alone. We have God!

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I believe it was in the movie “Facing the Giants“, (which is all about facing our daily fears and those incredible “giants” of things and people in life which we fear just because of who or what they represent) that I saw the reference to the number of times God mentions not fearing in His Word, found in the Bible. 365 separate times we’re told to not fear. I don’t expect He thought we wouldn’t feel fear or be fearful; but I believe He wanted to assure us 365 times that no matter the fear, the size of our giants or the battle ahead, we’re not alone – He is with us! Fear and our giants are not fought by us alone, He is with us. So it’s not our size, our fight or our abilities which matter. We must face things with courage, which surely takes effort and practice these days, but we can do so because of His abilities and His “size”! Don’t measure what you fear and your giants against your ability; measure the fear, the giants you face and the ability to best it all based on the all-powerful, promise-keeping and faithful Father! Give your fears their rightful rest in Him!

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Riding the Waves of Change . .

22 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Life, Strength, Trials

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how-to-adapt-to-change2-25Change, it is coming. I’m enjoying this turnabout for August, as normally I might develop a “dog-days of summer” feeling right about now. Instead of that sense of wearing down and fatigue brought on by the sameness of sunshine and heat, I get to have some weather changing it up and bringing clouds to our insistently sunny skies. Change is good, it keeps us from the sense of prolonged sameness and staleness. Sometimes we dread change, but it is only with change that we experience relief from our states of constancy. And those states of routine and regularity are what drain us of our real power to face challenges, to develop new muscles and to grow stronger. Like the waves in the ocean, our power to face life comes upon those continual waves of uncertain life change – in circumstance, in situation, in ability, in temperament and in our challenges. Waves of change are the signals which to us mean we should grow, learn, develop and even confront. Change comes on waves of uncertainty with all its newness and potential for growth. To remain forever stagnant in the calmness of an unchallenging life or in familiar states of certainty is to lock oneself in places of total safety and limited growth for the sake of fear, intimidation or love of ease. We’re not here to be unchallenged or always at our ease . . we’re here to grow more masterful of this life by living it, changes and all! I’m learning to relish changes; as without them, I would always be the same and so would my life.
It may only seem a change in weather, or ahead – a change of season; but change in any regard is the constant set of breaking waves upon which we must face life willingly and ably! Don’t hide from change, fear it or dread it; for even if change represents loss or pain, it will enable something new to come your way or crewaves-50ate some impetus for growth within you. And that is the purpose of life . . renewal, variation and a purposeful choice we make to live it at the front where everything is most uncertain – where the waves are breaking! It’s okay to sit some waves out as they surely do become like tsunamis which upturn everything; but it’s not okay to sit out every wave in life which brings with it change and uncertainty just because we feel fearful or intimidated by all it represents, or because we’re just more comfortable in the stagnant waters. Learn to accept that all of life is one wave of change breaking after another – varying in size, attitude and risk. Learn to believe yourself a very-able surfer, who accepts each wave and every ride you are given as opportunities for change without first knowing the outcome!  
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Life is in the Lessons . .

23 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Choices, Life, Strength, Trials

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life_lessons_and_lattes-50Life is in the lessons . . we’re not always happy to open our texts & study for them, & sometimes we just get those obnoxious pop quizzes, but we must learn to exuberantly pass them if we wish to stop having to relearn the lessons & stay where we are!
Lessons are the vehicle of our transport beyond this stage of life, without them we would remain forever behind a “grade” & thus, we’d be always looking around us at the new faces of those who’ll pass the grade successfully or we’ll see the same faces of those, who like us, are stuck! I don’t know about you, but I didn’t ever like the idea of being held back when I was actually in school . . and I surely don’t like that concept now in the “Hardknocks School of Life!” I diploma_school_of_hard_knocks-Cheryl-50consider myself an able & ardent learner, a good student even, so if it requires my learning a lesson I’m not all that fond of in life. To be considered a good student, just as when I had to learn & pass geometry, I will make it through no matter! Some life lessons stink, but we have to have faith that the lesson will lead us to a better place & a better us!
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Life is surely an effort…

13 Wednesday Mar 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Confidence, Faith, God, Lessons, Life, Trials

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NewlittlegirlLife is surely an effort. We are infused with all we need when we come into this world, much is instilled within us to help us along our way. But the world is a siphon, it often endeavors to drain from us that which we carry within . . it happens each time we are faced with adversarial situations, or something is wearing us down & so we feel depleted of what we need to “fight” the brave battles of life.

 

Often times we become eroded in our spirits through daily interactions without even knowing that is what has happened. We make some choices or bear a few burdens, suffer a few slaps to our egos, without even paying attention to the slow erosion taking place in us baby_future_soldier-12bfrom within. We lose our way a bit, as we are just weakened, sapped of our super powers from the efforts. The fiber of our beings – our self-esteem, our confidence, our ability to patiently wait things out – it all pays the cost in a life where we’re tested. But tested we shall be, & taxed we shall remain, so we must learn to build up our shields, to restore our superpowers to full strength, & to garner our
energy to endure it all!

 

Poindexter-25bLife is surely an effort, but those who learn the lessons of how to bolster themselves, how to keep a strong belief system going & those who endure confidently because they have sustaining faith are those who suffer less erosion or who fix what is already eroded faster! It is imperative that you remember the inner core of what fuels you . . it is the generator which ignites the fire, which burns through you & which enables you to keep going. That inner core must be fed with an equal mix of self-love, self-esteem & confidence! Any hint of insecurity, diminished belief in your own ability or a wearing down without a rebuilding & restrengthening, will slowly but surely shut down the inner fire of your being!

 

I believe that I am naturally infused with self-confidence & self-esteem when I focus again on all the things the Creator gave me . . He comrelate-25binstilled in me a sense of my own worth so that I never have to doubt my value in life. He vested in me the fruits of the spirit, including patience, so that I am never without what I need to make it through anything! You must start with you yourself . . all things come from you . . your reactions, your responses & your ongoing ability to thrive in this lifetime are all because you are sure you can & will! Do the daily work in you & maintain the fire that keeps the engine of your life going . . you matter in it all! Without you, you have nothing to offer anyone at any time!_Sign01

Hoist the Sails, Life Awaits!

25 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Strength, Trials

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action shot-200Many times in life, we push ourselves too hard, & then we pay some price in physical or emotional pain. But for some things we don’t push ourselves hard enough, in my opinion. We settle into our ruts, believing ourselves incapable, unworthy, ill-equipped or just not “hungry” enough to care! But then who is it have we harmed through our assessment?! We hurt the one we need the most to accomplish things in life, ourself! When we cast doubt, over-analyze  fear, worry, linger in malaise or expect that we are not able, we’re taking the wind out of our own sails! How do we know how far we can go unless & until we try?
If you talk yourself into mediocrity, having or being less, or just plain out of things in general, then that is what you shall have! You have to assume the captain’s role in your own life & decide that you’ll hoist the sails by heading out towards the wind or making your own by turning into the wind! You cannot remain in dock, or even stationary at sea for long, without needing some source of propulsion into the new, the different, the unknown!
You, as the captain, must venture out beyond the safe realm of what you already know, the steady & the certain, CaptJackespecially if that is not where you want to be or what you want! Only you can choose to take your vessel to uncharted places to find your life’s treasure! Those who have what you want, have only done one thing differently than you, they’ve dared to go find it! Now is your turn to dare . . take off the safety reins & let loose your fears, for out there somewhere is what you are either seeking or never even knew you could find! The best adventures in life are those which begin in anticipation, reveal their secrets of fantastic discovery as you go & fill you with the greatness of your accomplishments in the end!
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Diamonds in the Making . .

31 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Conquering Fear, Life, Opportunity, Strength, Trials

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Diamonds-50To endure that which feels like hardship, that which knocks us either around or down for a time in life, is to not let the very hope go out of our live & thus leaving our sails down without hope of finding the wind. We possibly become more brow-beaten the older we get as more happens, so that many of us are actually somber, downcast, unrecognizable versions of who we once were. We start to wear our hard knocks like our clothes & thus, we become sad, tumultuous, angry, bitter, dour or imperiled versions of us!
I took note when reading some of the Bible, how meaningful the stories of those whom endured were to me. I realized that many people in life only learned how to shape & form their character, growing to love God, themselves & others more from what happened to them during hardships & trials. Many of course did not learn at all, going instead to places of discord, unrest & their own version of solitary confinement – choosing to make that part of their story in fact the “whole story” of their life. Some just became worse for the wear surely. But many examples were evident throughout the Bible, as well as in our everyday lives of people who thrive in spite of what has happened. They’ve lived to become shining examples of grace under pressure, appearing to be diamonds who were formed in the worst of times! And there always will be “bad times” at times for us all, no one is immune from that aspect of life! So that is my hope in life for myself. I want to take my sufferings, my pains, my hard knocks & all those things could do me in & make it all instead the cloth which polishes my soul & spirit to perfection like a rare & priceless diamond!
Enduring life is not meant to strip us of our desire to live, but rather to form us into wiser, more compassionate & loving people better prepared to live! Learn to be at peace & contentment with life, to not make each battle one which embitters your spirit & to recognize in the moments you will have to swim upstream with great effort, that even in those moments you are being strengthened for the journey ahead! The saying goes: no diamond can truly be appreciated as first appears, it must endure a process which forms it from onset to what it will become in the end! And so must we . . but it is our choice as to how we shall endure what we must! It is always our choice to look beyond the process towards the end result!_Sign01
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Making Lemonade From Our Lemons . .

05 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Conquering Fear, Strength, Trials

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Lemonade-50Making lemonade from our lemons doesn’t mean we’re settling for less, it means we are making the best of whatever comes our way & that is how we make the best of our lives! We can choose to exist & to react . . ways to surely suck the living out of your life! In existing, you relinquish your desire to hope for yet-fulfilled & yet-achieved dreams. You simply stop living in a state of faith & hope t…o sustain that faith, & so your life becomes based in fear, worry, regrets, sorrows, “what ifs” & “why nots”. But when you take back the helm of your central internal emotional command, realizing that although you don’t control everything, you do control your responses, you will start to feel empowered & alive once again!
Don’t slip into existence just because things haven’t always gone your way, reach higher by overcoming your own internal negative gobbledy gook & keep living with the desire to reach all your dreams. Never give up hope, & never let your dreams die! It’s alright to be a realist, but faith doesn’t dwell in reality, it is inherently in the unseen & the unknown, which we all know also includes love, air (hopefully), and some other intangible aspects of life which are very concrete nonetheless! To react emotionally in life is natural, but to stay a prisoner within your emotions because things haven’t always gone your way, or because you’ve received too many lemons & are just sick of making lemonade, will keep you from enjoying your life! You cannot be living in the state of reacting to circumstances without feeling out of control & perhaps a bit victimized.
Flip the way you look at life by seizing the emotional reins & choosing an alternative mood! Life is about making the best of what you have, what you get & what you are facing so that you can feel the best about your life! Isn’t it time you start feeling that empowerment again towards your precious gift of life?! Seize the day, take the control back & live with an awareness that you are going to make a great life for yourself no matter what may come or not come. Learn to savor lemonade . . it’s refreshing after all!_Sign01
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