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Category Archives: Ethics

Speak the Truth…

09 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Courage, Empathy, Encouragement, Ethics, Faith, Freedom, Inspiration, Kindness, Life, Love, Maturity, Strength, Trials, Truth

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Decision-making, Honesty, Knowledge, Lying, Reality, Truth

Sometimes we sugar coat things, thinking we’re sparing others upsets or upheavals. But, if we choose to deny anyone the truth by withholding from them the reality of a situation, we don’t really do them any service at all! Speak the truth, give the facts as you see them, relay honest appraisals whenever possible. Trust and deliver the difficult truths with kindness, compassion, and an earnest heart determined to help others.

Our challenge shouldn’t be how we can hide facts and the truth, for now, to protect someone we love from possibly being hurt, but rather our consideration should be how we can best deliver or present to others what they may need to know to make the most optimal choices for them, to face their dilemmas head-on as they are presented in life, while standing up to what they must! Some of the purposeful omitting or concealing we do may seem to soften a blow to others, but truthfully, it might also be that we don’t want to be responsible for having to give bad news or to burden another when they’re under significant duress! It might also be that in white-lying, omitting, or actually distorting reality, we are making assumptions about others which suggest that we believe them weak or incapable of facing reality. And that projection upon them might be a serious disservice to them!

The truth is truly what each of us deserves to know, process, and ruminate, even when that truth seems like a bitter pill to swallow or a hard left to our already-battered head! Some of the storms we face in this life actually provide great lessons and the impetus for significant and positive change, but if we’re always hiding in a shelter of our own making or in one provided too readily by others, we run the risk of missing those important life lessons! Not all storms can and should be evaded. They serve as necessary opportunities for individual growth and personal development! We have to give that chance to ourselves by facing each obstacle and trial in life head-on, but also others deserve that same opportunity! Honesty, reality, and truth are the power of knowing what to do, where to go, and how to proceed. The light of truth reflected in life is always preferable to the darkness of uncertainty and ill-preparedness. 

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Welcome to the New Normal . .

18 Saturday Mar 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Change, Character, Ethics, Freedom, God, Maturity, Offense, Prayer

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Civility, Constitutional Exceptionalism, Freedom

Welcome, my friends! Welcome to the new normal! We seemingly have forgotten how to be civil, not just in our physical contact, but in our discourse as well. We Americans are so attached to our divided sides in matters now that we often take on the role of mob member and willing participant in our verbal, or even physical attacks on others. The mob decides who is right. The mob decides what is right. The mob with the weapons, the mob with the media exposure, the mob with the most judges, or the mob with the paid assemblage of thugs is always the victor. We used to discuss and even debate issues in this nation. We used to laud our nation’s protective stand for the precious and infinite value of free speech, varying opinion and the right to speak in direct contradiction to one another. We mostly did so civilly, without attack and without using the tools the mob uses to silence others. We used to value our electoral process and the correlating inherent philosophical differences which created at least two sides of the coin in the first place. But no more. We now bash the freedoms which made this nation something exceptional. If someone says or does something we don’t like, we want to silence them or shut them down! We take the very liberties which are God-given and impugn their existence in those with whom we have philosophical differences. We choose sides, only now the sides often have sticks, bats, clubs, aggressive networking tools, paid participants, and blood-lust agendas to enforce their side’s point of view, and to ultimately render silent or destroy any opposition.    

Our melting pot’s civility and desire for freedom’s preservation have always been our bulwark. We even allowed groups deemed highly offensive by the majority of our citizenry to share their voice as long as their voices weren’t the tip of a more brutal iceberg for inciting violence. But now, sadly, we have many citizens who cannot handle even the most mild-mannered voice if it represents dissent from their prevailing opinions. They assemble in mobs under the guise of peaceful protest to silence the speakers with whom they disagree. They destroy property, physically cause harm to other people, and breach their promise of civil protestation all to make their point. They desire such unanimous, non-diverse expression of opinion, that only their’s matters and so all others must be rendered unable to even speak! This forceful suppression is happening now on many college campuses, in many venues, and upon many streets in our once liberty-conscious nation. It is the growing trend towards mob rule in our neighborhoods, in our towns and cities, upon our college campuses and in our populace as a whole which threatens our Republic’s existence.   

It’s hard to watch the decline of my great nation by the hands and will of those who don’t actually value America for what we were and still are. It’s that willful abhorrence or apathetic ignorance as to America’s standards for maintaining liberty for all and preserving our inherent rights which are the catalysts for our destruction. We simply cannot exist in lawlessness, chaos, or by mob rule. We cannot accept civil disobedience, purposeful judicial or legislative abuses, and mob mentality as our normal construct. If we are to maintain our inherent freedom in this nation, we must agree to disagree without impunity. We must accept that there are voices, beliefs, opinions, and ways of doing things other than our own. We must not shut others down to give our own raised voice more importance, more distinction, or more credence. If we cannot agree, we at least must be civil in our disagreement. Most of us have had to accept that not everything will go our way all the time, and we don’t take to the streets punching others or destroying their property as a response to that! If we must disagree, then let our protests reflect our intellect, our ideas, and our ability to persuade rather than our desire to silence, to browbeat, or to brutalize others for who and what they are.  

It’s very difficult watching the demise of our exceptional nation through divisiveness because we are losing our ability to peacefully and willfully be different, unique, and to value the individual and all of our individual expression. Our nation is exceptional because it begins first with the individual, the inherent freedom to be a unique individual first and foremost. Our nation’s founders knew that no individual should be so constrained or modified in thought, word or deed by a governing body as to lose the freedom’s inherently bestowed to them by God. We must be law-abiding, civil, and desirous of that state of peacefully cohabitating this chunk of land known as the United States of America in our individual states of being. Otherwise, we become mobs of discordant, unruly, and dangerous unravelers of the very freedoms which weave this nation’s melting pot of citizens together! We must agree to disagree, we must look past our differences, and if we want to stand up for our own points of view, we must respectfully not endeavor to bully others, to beat them down, or to sue them into submission. We cannot accept another’s forced silence as our victory, as silence means we’ve rendered all perspectives and opinions but our own as null and void. That desire to submit others to ourselves is always a reflection of our own insecurity in who we are! We should securely tolerate and even encourage open discussions, criticisms, and even arguments knowing that to do so doesn’t take from us any measure of our self-respect, intellect or value. We must maintain our civility and respect for others while doing so, as that individual humility is necessary to maintain our collective national civility amid such diversity of personal culture, opinion, and behavior!

I pray each new day for civility to return to my nation. I pray for people to concede that political correctness and suppression of free speech are the poisons which are stripping our inherent, God-given freedom to believe, to think, to opine, and to behave as we believe and desire. And I pray that we each again choose to individually accept our share of personal responsibility for preserving freedom by also individually accepting the consequences of our personal choices in that regard. We only all prosper if we are able to be uniquely and individually ourselves in these United States. We only stand united through our civility, our lawfulness and our desire to preserve our Constitutionally-protected, God-given, inherent individual freedom. Mob rule has no place in our exceptional Republic comprised of individuals desirous of freedom and liberty! Peaceful protest is our nation’s birthright, but such protestors don’t throw stones, hide behind masks, accept payment for participating, or seek to physically bully others into submission! I’ll keep on praying.

Freedom or A Prison For All . .

30 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Discipline, Ethics, Freedom, Maturity, Self-Control, Uncategorized

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Ethics, Freedom, Self-Control, Self-Discipline

Our nation was built on inherent rights which serve as the backbone of human freedom, but those become meaningless when citizens no longer hold themselves to the standards of behavior necessary to maintain such freedom!  It is indisputable, people simply cannot do whatever they want without regard for the consequences. There is freedom, as we know it from the day we are born, but with maturity, we have to learn to be lawful and civil to dwell with one another sans chaos.  Self-discipline and self-control are essential counter-balancing measures for people to live lives which shun the additional restraints other men seek to place upon them. Someone or some other entity (like a government or a law-enforcing body) always step in to take up the slack for our lack of self-control and self-discipline. And every time that is necessary, a bit of our freedom is eroded!  

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Thanks to the eroding behaviors of the lawless, a free society like ours can no longer maintain the same state of freedom which feels comfortable for the entirety. No man is able to decide for another how he should live his life, but that is exactly what happens in a society in which morality and civility decline! With fewer of us caring to self-regulate our behaviors and accepting personal responsibility for those errant choices we make, external control by some other entity becomes a dire consequence we all must then endure. We all must endure more laws, more regulations, more restrictions and more controls upon our freedom and choices, even though the chaos still grows more noticeable from the burgeoning lawless portion of our society. What is obvious is that the lawless already not obeying laws or self-controlling their behaviors will not respond to even more controls and laws!  

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The answer to our societal problems is always found within each individual, making them responsible for their own actions and behaviors is essential. No one else has the right to say for another how their life is to be lived, unless and until that person has ceded their own self-control and self-discipline by a choice or a series of choices. Otherwise, what we have, as a result, is a national “prison” of laws, restrictions, regulations, and rules which bind the law-abiding right along with the lawless. That is why “we” should stop asking for more laws and controls to be placed upon society as a whole from a faceless, growing government of gigantic bureaucratic agencies unable to keep themselves in check. “We” should start calling for enforcement of the laws already on the books and accountability for those who are truly at fault when laws are broken. If you consistently enforce the value and necessity of morality, ethics, civility, and insist upon lawfulness by insisting that people are held accountable and pay their debt or recompense to society, a society stands strong against the chaos of freedom left unchecked and unbalanced! And this standard must be set from the top down at a universal Federal level all the way down to our communities and households! Each and every single one of us must be a responsible participant and each one of us must be accountable for our choices. Only those who are unable to self-regulate and self-discipline, such as children prior to maturity, are excusable for not exercising self-control. Such freedom as is inherent in us is hard to restore once bound and restricted! And if we lose our freedom here, God help us and the world!  Signature02

The Crutch of An Excuse . .

02 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Discipline, Ethics, Self-Respect, Strength

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character, Excuses, Victimization

 

Making excuses for other people can be a slippery slope, as often we’re enabling them or giving them permission to keep on doing as they will with no recourse or reproach. It can render us silent when we should be anything but. But worse than that is to make excuses for ourselves by using others as our foil! When we do that, we hide from consequences, we pass the buck of personal responsibility and we shun the burden to behave, to think and to speak as we know we should!

 

There are far too many people these days that have learned it’s easier and more convenient to pass the fault and the blame for their own lives being in ruin onto others. Making those excuses becomes a crutch on which they stand progressively more and more each new day! Instead of learning how to heal from life’s battles, to strengthen self or to develop beyond their own mistakes and failings, they rely upon the handy excuse of “blame the other guy” or “it’s his or her fault, not mine!” or the often used, “I give you all responsibility”.

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It has become so easy to lob insulting rhetoric, bombastic opinion and to evade personal responsibility by claiming a constant state of victimhood rather than to learn to grow and develop through discipline and effort, past or beyond some situation or life event! Once upon a time, when someone was born in a supposed disadvantaged state, the person would be encouraged to work through the factors of such a  perceived disadvantage as poverty, minority class or handicap for their own sake, so that by strengthening their inner stamina and will, they would excel in life beyond the state of their present set of circumstances. Now however, we’ve learned victimhood presumed by a “disadvantaged” state of birth, life choices or unfortunate circumstances as a sport, as a hobby and as a profession! It is easier to render people immobile and functionless based on so many factors which are surmountable and should even encourage the opposite purely by their accepting this new sport of victimization!

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Society now has exonerated from personal responsibility and disciplined living entire swaths of people collectively based on a growing desire to evade the onus of responsibility and commitment to change! Human growth has stalled in the forest of overgrown weeds of unloving, uncompassionate and immature souls incapable of personal development much less living amidst communities as responsible citizens. The “me” has replaced the “we” with a deadened thump upon the soul’s impetus to grow, develop and mature through so many perceived negatives and overall hampering; that now, many souls have stagnated in muddy puddles of darkened uselessness, apathy and victimization! God made us to be so much more for His effort. How sad when we choose to make such ready excuses for ourselves by placing the blame consistently and constantly upon the backs of others in whom we can secure our victimhood! We are self–fueled and self-propelled, lest we forget the origin of our Divine Creator’s handiwork in us! No one is accountable for our lives but us. Signature02

 

Content With Myself . .

25 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, God, Life, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

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Contentment, Love, Self-Esteem

The older I get, the more I realize that lite isn’t about changing myself to suit others or to please others or to follow anyone else’s lead. Life is about growing, changing, learning, and becoming whomever it is I was meant to be and being accepting of that person through it all! That means I live in step with my values, my beliefs and in an such a way as to uphold daily my character. It doesn’t mean that I look for ease in everything, expect everyone’s approval or think I know it all by now. It means that I’m not content in anything or with anyone else unless I first am content with myself – able to discern my own self-worth and to love myself regardless the presence or absence of others and in spite of all circumstances, including my own flaws and imperfections! And that contentment with myself is paramount to a life spent people pleasing, agreeing with or assuring others instead.

01 Life Quote

It’s not selfish to do so, it’s self-preserving to live one’s own life for the sake of preserving one’s innermost core of values, beliefs and character; and most importantly, in preserving one’s own sense of self-worth, self-love and self-acceptance. Otherwise we might risk becoming yet another of the lost, seemingly-uncertain and unaware souls who don’t know their own value first and foremost because they’ve placed all measure and determination of that most critical appraisal in the tenuous hands of others or in the worth of things attained.

 

And don’t we see the obvious effects of those lost souls daily in our news broadcasts, in stories of such tragedies and loss? Those are the stories of people who aren’t able, at a time or in a moment to remember the value of their own lives, much less the lives of others. They’ve placed their own esteem in the hands of others, or lost it for themselves by not living in accord with their beliefs or values; or believed it was equitable to what they’ve accomplished or had achieved. Such sad stories when we know a person’s worth is priceless because it comes from God, were only all souls made known of that fact!   2608-character

 

Every person’s value is infinite! All of us face times of great consternation, pain and wearing-down of self; but those who live with awareness of their worth first through Him tend to persist through their life storms with more will and tenacity because they know unequivocally that critical  measure! They aren’t so-easily eroded by the influences of other humans or by the passing fancy of circumstance. Contentment starts by rooting in the firmament of God rather than in the shaky ground of mere humanity. 

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The World Flipping . .

01 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, Family, God, Lessons, Life, Self-Control, Self-Respect, Wisdom

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The world is officially flipping. As my grandmother said way back in the mid-nineties, aliens have taken over the bodies and minds of many average citizens. I cannot imagine how she would surmise current events and the spectacles which fill the daily news feeds all these years later. People in the asylum now have hold of the keys and are in charge of the daily management of the facility! In all good humor, I present her thesis and my amendment; but with all seriousness, I relent in this appraisal. It saddens me how far we have strayed from the moral and character-driven culture we once were for the most part. America is now a nation flipped and upside down with immorality, deceit and implausible considerations.

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We were never perfect, there was always evil and sin; but now more and more of us believe in less and less. We strive it seems to be more outlandish and to live more on the fringes of what so many deem boring and mundane. Marriage, family, faith and good character are no longer in vogue; those values and beliefs have been replaced with cultural norms which shock many of the middle of America to their core. My grandmother was ahead of her time in seeing the results of years of turning from God, of replacing family orientation with its opposite; and with vulgarity and with lewdness as a means of changing the rut of boring and common-place middle-American values and beliefs. Those traditional core beliefs were deemed oppressive and confining by a new generation of people who rebel against such structure and confines upon their own behavior. Many have given up controlling themselves in favor of instantaneous gratification and immediate pleasure. Self-control is now freely ceded for governmental constraint, too much is not enough when it comes to laws and regulations to form and shape our behaviors because we seem unable and unwilling to self-control and self-regulate; and furthermore, to accept responsibility for our own actions! And therein we find the  source of the dilemma!BetterIsPoor

So few want to be constrained and confined to the standards which living moral and character-driven lives entails. Faith, God and family are now passé! Instead we have foul, unfamiliar and upside-down/backwards as our new reality! The counter-culture now runs our schools, our media, our government and our lives; much to the chagrin of middle-America, which still clings to their family, faith and moral traditions. Fortunately, God is still in charge of the world, regardless who chooses to believe it might be so! It is. I await His correction of this upside-down/backwards and side-stepping, ego-driven society. I’m sure He is growing tired of our childish insistence that we know best, when surely the resulting chaos and instability in our world proves Him right.


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Counter-Culture Becomes the Norm . .

01 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Ethics, Family, God, Integrity, Life

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beatnikpartySomehow a few years ago, being seen as counter-culture became the equivalent of being cool, hip or just desirable. So many of our society’s malcontents and some actual convicted criminals were all of a sudden thrust into the spotlight of applause and hero-status, when in fact they’re just malcontents and criminals. Many now have celebrity status in our culture, or at least hold honorable positions as instructors to our children, professors to our emerging citizenry, esteemed office-holders within our cities and nation . .  even though they once were just ignoble – and often convicted criminals – bombers, murderers or thieves. It is one thing to see the truly oppressed rise up, conquering their oppressors heroically; it’s entirely something else to take an ignoble and deceitful history, turning it into something it is not. And that is what has happened in our nation in many instances.

We’ve seen the rise of the counter-culture, revolutionary in not the best regards; grow up and become the educators, politicians and revered in our nation. Change is not always negative, and that is not why I’m trying to confer. And people who once were one thing can and do grow up and become better.  But this change which has Rebels-With-a-Cause-8brought to a lauded staged, those who felt so strongly in their own immoral beliefs so as to kill, mutilate, bomb and destroy through deceitful pursuits other innocent people is negative! How sad! I wish we as a society recognized the attributes of those who were just normal and boring for their virtue, character and belief in justice, civility and conventional perspectives. But we relegate them to the new criminal status of our culture by vilifying that in which we should be giving praise and thanks! Suddenly, those with conservative or moral beliefs are the culprits for all of our societal wrongs. All too often those who act in accord with their civil and sworn duty are painted as terrorists. And now even, the very structure of our national fabric, faith, family and stability is cursed and loathed rather than just given its space to “co-exist”. Hmm. I’d say those counter-culture criminals and malcontents are truly smart, for they managed by virtue of their celebrity status and positions of honor to change a nation’s view of itself, based Truthon nothing more than a series of endeavors to undermine what held it together in the first place. We’ve flipped our perspective as a nation, a culture and as people . . what was counter now seems cool and what is conventional is now portrayed as evil. So now, without the very glue which once held us together, we slowly and steadily erode. I am now, and will always remain, firmly and perhaps boringly affixed to my conventional belief in God and follow His rules for my life. I’m of the belief that humans might not have it all figured out in their own best interests, and my nation these days is proof . . usually humans, when left to their own ego-centered pursuits, just do whatever they want without any fear of repercussion. And so chaos and mayhem ensue.

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Its A Chance For Discovery…

29 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Ethics, Faith, Fullness, Gentleness, Happiness, Inspiration, Integrity, Joy, Kindness, Life, Love, Wisdom

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ATear-25

Remember today as you go out into the world of discovery, that some souls might be fragile, heartbroken, saddened in grief, feeling fear or suffering in some other way. Inside, they may be impacted by events in which we haven’t any knowledge or awareness, nor for which we see any obvious signs externally. We might not know exactly what others are enduring, but we can be compassionate in our journey, kind in our steps thus giving others respect, patience, our love & our best first so that if they’re suffering in some way, we seem to them to be safe waters in their already stormy lives.

I remember the days right after my father died unexpectedly so many years ago . . I was feeling so vulnerable and broken that I felt I was operating at a different speed than the rest of the world, into which I had to venture out routinely, especially since it was fairly close to Christmas. But when I encountered – amidst the busy-ness and frenetic pace – kind people with loving hearts and gentle smiles, I felt somehow safer and less fragile.Being kind, compassionate, gentle, patient and loving isn’t always easy and sometimes seems in opposition to the events of our day and perhaps even our moods as a result, but we truly never know what others are enduring! We should endeavor to give the world our best for one day it might be us who needs theirs in return.                                                                         kindpeoplearebest

We should endeavor to give the world our best for one day it might be us who needs theirs in return. And we should try to see and to believe the best of others because we don’t know their full story. What might seem standoffish to us, may be someone trying to hold themselves together for the sake of not breaking down!s fragile. Being kind, compassionate, gentle, patient and loving isn’t always easy and sometimes seems in opposition to the events of our day and perhaps even our moods as a result, but we truly never know what others are enduring!

fruit-of-the-spirit_25These are the fruits of our spirit from Galatians 5:22-23, nine things in which we already are amply endowed, may we practice them today and everyday when we meet one another as strangers or even as friends: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

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It’s All Part of Wisdom’s Process…

27 Friday Sep 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Ethics, Wisdom

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Uncategorized

It’s all part of wisdom’s process…

 ItsYourRoad-25We all have within us a sense of what is right & wrong, to us. It is those things which, when we cross our own boundary lines, acting or thinking or doing what we ourselves “know” is in conflict with what we inherently believe, cause us to feel we’ve compromised ourselves even if just a bit. We all know when enough is enough, or when we’re accepting something into our lives which isn’t in keeping with our own tenets of morality or sense of rightness. It’s only when we actually cross that line & go beyond the border that we ebb away pieces of our own shoreline. Like a pounding wave we didn’t necessarily perceive as destructive, it exposes our vulnerable parts of soul & spirit a bit to erosion & we lose a part of ourselves in the process each time it Longbeach2occurs. We can rebuild, but only when we stop making excuses for that we are doing or compromising our own integrity long enough to recognize that the fault belongs with our own foolhardy choices. That’s part of wisdom’s process . . we learn best by our mistakes because we are then forced to become better protectors of our own shoreline of self! If we don’t learn to protect our bodies & our core of being throughout this life, we are eroded like the shorelines blasted by numerous repetitive waves over time, nothing much will remain of what once made ourselves. Compromise seems like an innocuous matter when first pondering that inherent sense sparking within you, but when you choose to ignore it time & time again, acting or being or thinking in opposing ways to your own inherent set of values & beliefs, you will erode parts of yourself.

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