Overcoming, Not Status Quo and Easy Breezy . .

20 Saturday Aug 2016

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Confidence, Courage, Discipline, Faith, God, Growing, Lessons, Life, Maturity, Opportunity, Positivity, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect, Strength, Success

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Maturity, Overcoming, Perseverance, Strength

We aren’t here to live a life free of problems, but rather to motivate, to inspire and to elevate ourselves and others around us through them. We’re meant to rise to the occasion, to learn, to grow and to mature within to be able to take on more problems as well as to develop our abilities to handle greater challenges ahead. How do we do that if we and those we nurture are encouraged to hide from our problems, or worse, kept purposefully from them?? Problems seem to be now viewed as problematic, the very ways in which we challenge our status quo in life now have taken on such a stigma, we often want to escape instead!

Facing our problems is the only way we know how strong and tough we can be as the “overcomers” we are meant to be! Hiding, denying, ignoring, backing away, settling for less, or creating safe spaces only cripples us within. We must accept challenges as part of the continuous growing cycle we are always in, we must experience lessons and tests as the ongoing way in which we mature and develop ourselves in life’s perpetual classroom. If we were to live life sans problems, challenges or tests, we would never learn about our own inner strength, our fortitude or most of our abilities. Status quo and easy-breezy doesn’t really teach us about ourselves, nor does it develop within us the appreciation, acknowledgement or awareness of our metal, our own persevering spirit or our maturity as time passes. Overcoming gives us that. When we overcome and mature through things, we develop more self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. Of course, all of that is God’s gift to us, through His gift of love within us to begin with. We are meant to be overcomers because God made us to so. In this world, we face daily challenges and must learn to rise to those challenges to become more. There are infinite opportunities each new day for us to become something more and someone greater than who we are today!

Even if we ourselves created some of the taxing problems we are now enduring through accidental or purposeful choices, we must accept the responsibility we now face for extricating ourselves from the constraints those problems represent. Problems always offer us a chance to be overcomers! And that is always a more inspiring and uplifting response rather than denial or flight. God is with us as we endeavour and pursue the ways to move forward, through and beyond our current issues and problems. But we will not learn how to make our way if we choose to always make our way safer, easier, and problem-free. Accepting problems as the necessary learning experiences they represent is always the best way to keep our peace in this world. Doing otherwise makes our journey more miserable and our role as problem-solver less rewarding.

Be True to You!

31 Sunday May 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Confidence, Integrity, Maturity, Self-Control, Self-Respect

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Authenticity, Maturity, Self-Respect

When I was little, my mother told me that it was much more important to be myself than to seek the acceptance or permission of others, altering my behavior and beliefs accordingly. She assured me that I would always be alright and loved as long as I first maintained my own integrity by being genuine, self-accepting and self-loving. And so it is with life, (another “Mom” point I have had to give her), we are supposed to develop who we are from within; assessing our thoughts, words and actions in accordance with what we know, learn and process.

We’re meant to determine for ourselves what it is that we believe and live within the confines of those beliefs. We’re supposed to discover our own talents and abilities based on what it is we can do, regardless what others have as gifts and natural talents. We’re meant to learn and to develop our minds, our bodies and our spirits as we’re able to, as we’re all unique and individual. We aren’t meant to listen to the prevailing dialogue, or be swayed by the winds of the times as though what we know or believe has no weight. We are not all supposed to think alike, dress alike, walk alike or talk alike! We might change our beliefs and adapt our skills according to our experiences and by what we’ve learned over time. We might even have significant shifts in what we hold to be true based on just growing up or having lived through certain life-changing moments. But we’re to be true to ourselves, regardless the influences of others or the pressure they can exert. If we aren’t true to ourselves, not only will others find us unappealing, but we won’t even have the comfort of liking ourselves!

So the surest way to be in life is 100% okay with who we are as people. If we act in ways that we cannot accept or which compromise our integrity, we’ll note within a sense of unbalance or ill-rhythm. It is inevitable, as my mother promised . . we must first develop the core of who and what we are from within; building a solid foundation on which to create our lives. Then we are to live our life in the manner in which we’ve set our beliefs, established our boundaries and determined our abilities. Let no one dictate to you their moral sense or lack thereof. Let no other person make you feel bad for having a varied set of beliefs or for making mistakes. Accept the responsibility for choosing to live in accordance with your own values, beliefs and abilities; as well as the consequences for faulty choices in the process. Let no one tell you how to live your life! It is yours to live, even with mistakes, chances and mishaps. Own it all and live it with a determined will to be faithful to who and what you are!

Many these days are involved in censoring and even condemning others for values, beliefs and lifestyles which differ from their own; yet in their censorship or condemnation, they still cannot take on the weight of the responsibility for success, failures or consequences outside of their own. Learning to live with confidence and self-assurance, as well as self-acceptance, enables us to better mind our own business; as our security with our own life choices makes us better able to give others the same level of respect in theirs!

Giving Yourself the Best Gift in Life!

03 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Choices, Commitment, Discipline, God, Integrity, Life, Love, Self-Respect, Strength

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Confidence, Love, Self-Esteem

The best gift you can give yourself this new year is just a commitment to be the best you that you can be, regardless the resolutions or the dates on any calendar. For to be endearing to oneself is to live authentically, looking out for what is best and not sacrificing what lies within for anything external. What is best for our lives doesn’t reflect the hopes and dreams of anyone else in any other way but us.

Our life is a grand work of physical, emotional and behavioral artistry, created, designed and shaped ’til perfection by our handiwork. Our life is the collective workings of God’s mastery brought into being through us and every choice we’ve made since. And now that we’re responsible, it’s up to us to master the every day decisions, choices, parameters and emotions which help us to create the inner and outer being of our heart’s desire. When choosing all of that, don’t look at the current trends or try to reshape your life to resemble those of others. They didn’t start with your gifts or your talents or even looking like you! We are all gifted with lives uniquely and independently formed. Why would we seek to make ourselves anything other than us?!

Our greatest aspiration each new day should be to live authentically in the way we are made to be; with our dreams the priorities which motivate our actions and our behaviors. Our inside growth is more important than anything we shape and do on the outside, for transforming from the inside out gives us the power to work with everything we have, everything that happens and every change which may come to influence us from within and on the outside. If we encounter something life-altering in our journey, we then have the strength, integrity and self-love first from within to not let it change us as we are. We must hold fast in personal integrity, which means staying true to who we are regardless what comes to pass, what happens in our lives or even what may alter our physical being! How does someone lose a part of themselves, say an arm or a leg, and not become someone else in the process? It’s because they are first aware of what lies within, loving that person inside and out!

If we know we are masterpieces first created by God’s hand, then all of our choices from then on become about making our own lives the reflection of that thankfulness and honor we believe He deserves for that! Living your best life means standing up for what you believe, doing what you must to maintain your being inside and out, as well as loving oneself enough to know each choice and every step reflects all of that!

The Crutch of An Excuse . .

02 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Discipline, Ethics, Self-Respect, Strength

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

character, Excuses, Victimization

Making excuses for other people can be a slippery slope, as often we’re enabling them or giving them permission to keep on doing as they will with no recourse or reproach. It can render us silent when we should be anything but. But worse than that is to make excuses for ourselves by using others as our foil! When we do that, we hide from consequences, we pass the buck of personal responsibility and we shun the burden to behave, to think and to speak as we know we should!

There are far too many people these days that have learned it’s easier and more convenient to pass the fault and the blame for their own lives being in ruin onto others. Making those excuses becomes a crutch on which they stand progressively more and more each new day! Instead of learning how to heal from life’s battles, to strengthen self or to develop beyond their own mistakes and failings, they rely upon the handy excuse of “blame the other guy” or “it’s his or her fault, not mine!” or the often used, “I give you all responsibility”.

It has become so easy to lob insulting rhetoric, bombastic opinion and to evade personal responsibility by claiming a constant state of victimhood rather than to learn to grow and develop through discipline and effort, past or beyond some situation or life event! Once upon a time, when someone was born in a supposed disadvantaged state, the person would be encouraged to work through the factors of such a perceived disadvantage as poverty, minority class or handicap for their own sake, so that by strengthening their inner stamina and will, they would excel in life beyond the state of their present set of circumstances. Now however, we’ve learned victimhood presumed by a “disadvantaged” state of birth, life choices or unfortunate circumstances as a sport, as a hobby and as a profession! It is easier to render people immobile and functionless based on so many factors which are surmountable and should even encourage the opposite purely by their accepting this new sport of victimization!

Society now has exonerated from personal responsibility and disciplined living entire swaths of people collectively based on a growing desire to evade the onus of responsibility and commitment to change! Human growth has stalled in the forest of overgrown weeds of unloving, uncompassionate and immature souls incapable of personal development much less living amidst communities as responsible citizens. The “me” has replaced the “we” with a deadened thump upon the soul’s impetus to grow, develop and mature through so many perceived negatives and overall hampering; that now, many souls have stagnated in muddy puddles of darkened uselessness, apathy and victimization! God made us to be so much more for His effort. How sad when we choose to make such ready excuses for ourselves by placing the blame consistently and constantly upon the backs of others in whom we can secure our victimhood! We are self–fueled and self-propelled, lest we forget the origin of our Divine Creator’s handiwork in us! No one is accountable for our lives but us.

Content With Myself . .

25 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, God, Life, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Contentment, Love, Self-Esteem

The older I get, the more I realize that lite isn’t about changing myself to suit others or to please others or to follow anyone else’s lead. Life is about growing, changing, learning, and becoming whomever it is I was meant to be and being accepting of that person through it all! That means I live in step with my values, my beliefs and in an such a way as to uphold daily my character. It doesn’t mean that I look for ease in everything, expect everyone’s approval or think I know it all by now. It means that I’m not content in anything or with anyone else unless I first am content with myself – able to discern my own self-worth and to love myself regardless the presence or absence of others and in spite of all circumstances, including my own flaws and imperfections! And that contentment with myself is paramount to a life spent people pleasing, agreeing with or assuring others instead.

It’s not selfish to do so, it’s self-preserving to live one’s own life for the sake of preserving one’s innermost core of values, beliefs and character; and most importantly, in preserving one’s own sense of self-worth, self-love and self-acceptance. Otherwise we might risk becoming yet another of the lost, seemingly-uncertain and unaware souls who don’t know their own value first and foremost because they’ve placed all measure and determination of that most critical appraisal in the tenuous hands of others or in the worth of things attained.

And don’t we see the obvious effects of those lost souls daily in our news broadcasts, in stories of such tragedies and loss? Those are the stories of people who aren’t able, at a time or in a moment to remember the value of their own lives, much less the lives of others. They’ve placed their own esteem in the hands of others, or lost it for themselves by not living in accord with their beliefs or values; or believed it was equitable to what they’ve accomplished or had achieved. Such sad stories when we know a person’s worth is priceless because it comes from God, were only all souls made known of that fact!

Every person’s value is infinite! All of us face times of great consternation, pain and wearing-down of self; but those who live with awareness of their worth first through Him tend to persist through their life storms with more will and tenacity because they know unequivocally that critical measure! They aren’t so-easily eroded by the influences of other humans or by the passing fancy of circumstance. Contentment starts by rooting in the firmament of God rather than in the shaky ground of mere humanity.

Facing the Giants We Fear . .

14 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faithfulness, Fear, God, Self-Respect, Strength, Trials

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Fear, God, Self-Respect

Fear is born from our need to process what we cannot, out of our longing to seize control when we aren’t sure we have any and through our inability to imagine how everything we might fear plays out without hurting us, irreparably changing us or negatively impacting our lives. That is fear . . it’s dreading and resenting something, someone or some set of events which represent change, disturbance and discord.

Perhaps we fear a disease. Maybe we fear other people. Often we fear one thing so much, we refuse to do that out of fear – e.g. public speaking, flying, etc.. It might just be we fear all that is changing in our lives as we age, because we doubt our own ability to handle what comes our way. But fear is a liar. It doesn’t always adequately represent the truth of what we’re facing or even the truth of what will be. And fear is a liar in that it doesn’t take into account the power, strength, will and perseverance which might just see us through the times ahead. And fear again lies, because it forgets that we’re not alone. We have God!

I believe it was in the movie “Facing the Giants“, (which is all about facing our daily fears and those incredible “giants” of things and people in life which we fear just because of who or what they represent) that I saw the reference to the number of times God mentions not fearing in His Word, found in the Bible. 365 separate times we’re told to not fear. I don’t expect He thought we wouldn’t feel fear or be fearful; but I believe He wanted to assure us 365 times that no matter the fear, the size of our giants or the battle ahead, we’re not alone – He is with us! Fear and our giants are not fought by us alone, He is with us. So it’s not our size, our fight or our abilities which matter. We must face things with courage, which surely takes effort and practice these days, but we can do so because of His abilities and His “size”! Don’t measure what you fear and your giants against your ability; measure the fear, the giants you face and the ability to best it all based on the all-powerful, promise-keeping and faithful Father! Give your fears their rightful rest in Him!

What Others Think . .

13 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, God, Gratitude, Happiness, Humility, Love, Peace, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Confidence, God, Self-worth

Often we think it matters more what others think of us, if we’re acceptable or alright in their eyes. But we mustn’t forget that what matters most in this world is how we appraise ourselves and who we are in God’s eyes. Others will have their opinions, fleeting, and based on their own limited knowledge and awareness. Perhaps they never fully know the inner workings of our hearts, minds and spirits. So basing our own self-appraisal on limited thought and consideration provides us with a limited or faulty appraisal. But God knows us through and through. We cannot hide who we are from Him! We cannot hide who we are from ourselves. It is all self-evident in our choices, in our family-lives, in our pursuits, in our hobbies, in our friendships and in our priorities. Spending time on developing the inner soul and sanctum means more in this life than any measure of outer approval rendered by any other means. We simply cannot ever be “enough” measured by anything external to us when such an appraisal is needed for just our ego’s sake.

We should always endeavor to be self-propelled and self-managed, rather than relying upon the conditional approval of others. When we cede our ego’s appraisal to any outside source, we lose pieces and parts, clarity and awareness, from our identity within. I’ve witnessed so many people nearly destroyed by not getting the favorable opinions or praise from others that should have been established from within them – by knowing who they are, by believing in and respecting themselves, by establishing themselves in the known love of God.

Human appraisal is not sustaining and is need-based; but self-acceptance formed through His love and promises is! Self-acceptance, self-respect and self-love fully-formed out of knowing who we are and from where we rightfully come is undeniable, firm and indelible. It’s nice to have others affirm qualities about us or compliment us on various aspects of our lives or person; but what is even nicer is having genuine self-acceptance of all that God has created us to be, with our foothold in self-confidence, self-love and self-respect regardless the opinions of others!

We Owe It To Ourselves . .

10 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Courage, Discipline, Exploration, Fullness, Life, Self-Respect, Strength

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

explorer, growth, Learning

We owe it to ourselves to understand the way things are, what we believe about the world and our place in it. We do no one, most especially ourselves, any good when we accept the opinions of others on face value or live our lives as echoes of others whom we view favorably or by fandom for their supposed celebrity. This is our life, our journey and our passage through it. If we aren’t going to make choices which reflect what it is that reflects our inner core of values and beliefs, then we aren’t going to have a life which feels comfortable and is meaningful to us.

Someone dear to me never ceases to amaze me in her insistent and persistent endeavors. She moves through life individually, and purposefully as such, attempting, learning and developing herself. She has a full life of experiences as a result! She might not be the master of any one thing, but she will be able to relish her participation in each and every manner in which she participates. Life is meant to be savored, tasted, tried and experienced. We’re meant to learn, to practice, to endeavor, to attempt, to challenge and to develop skills through all the challenges we master. We might not be proficient enough at some of those things to earn our income or to rely upon them for providing our sole support; but we can qualify ourselves as ably and aptly learned in such matters.

But for those who don’t love or respect themselves enough to take the time to explore their own hearts and minds; to find preferences, skills, talents, abilities and acceptable beliefs, nothing is learned at all! Without first knowing a thirst from wanting to develop and grow because we believe ourselves worthy such endeavors, we won’t push ourselves beyond the familiar or the simple. And often the simple is to take what others say or do rather than to work on developing those preferences for ourselves.

Moving into the “explorer” mindset is as easy as knowing we’re worth such an effort! That person who is dear to me does what she does because she is feeding her soul. She is learning, developing and growing her mind, her talents, her abilities and her experiences because she is compelled by a desire to be a full, learned individual! Don’t accept what others have done or limit yourself to living vicariously through others. Find a way to challenge anew your heart, mind and your spirit to grow, to learn and to develop something new; and to realize who you are and what makes you tick! Imagine the life you can have when you assert your belief in yourself?! Just igniting that fire within you is to empower yourself to have the fullest, most interesting and experienced life possible.

The World Flipping . .

01 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, Family, God, Lessons, Life, Self-Control, Self-Respect, Wisdom

≈ Leave a comment

The world is officially flipping. As my grandmother said way back in the mid-nineties, aliens have taken over the bodies and minds of many average citizens. I cannot imagine how she would surmise current events and the spectacles which fill the daily news feeds all these years later. People in the asylum now have hold of the keys and are in charge of the daily management of the facility! In all good humor, I present her thesis and my amendment; but with all seriousness, I relent in this appraisal. It saddens me how far we have strayed from the moral and character-driven culture we once were for the most part. America is now a nation flipped and upside down with immorality, deceit and implausible considerations.

We were never perfect, there was always evil and sin; but now more and more of us believe in less and less. We strive it seems to be more outlandish and to live more on the fringes of what so many deem boring and mundane. Marriage, family, faith and good character are no longer in vogue; those values and beliefs have been replaced with cultural norms which shock many of the middle of America to their core. My grandmother was ahead of her time in seeing the results of years of turning from God, of replacing family orientation with its opposite; and with vulgarity and with lewdness as a means of changing the rut of boring and common-place middle-American values and beliefs. Those traditional core beliefs were deemed oppressive and confining by a new generation of people who rebel against such structure and confines upon their own behavior. Many have given up controlling themselves in favor of instantaneous gratification and immediate pleasure. Self-control is now freely ceded for governmental constraint, too much is not enough when it comes to laws and regulations to form and shape our behaviors because we seem unable and unwilling to self-control and self-regulate; and furthermore, to accept responsibility for our own actions! And therein we find the source of the dilemma!

So few want to be constrained and confined to the standards which living moral and character-driven lives entails. Faith, God and family are now passé! Instead we have foul, unfamiliar and upside-down/backwards as our new reality! The counter-culture now runs our schools, our media, our government and our lives; much to the chagrin of middle-America, which still clings to their family, faith and moral traditions. Fortunately, God is still in charge of the world, regardless who chooses to believe it might be so! It is. I await His correction of this upside-down/backwards and side-stepping, ego-driven society. I’m sure He is growing tired of our childish insistence that we know best, when surely the resulting chaos and instability in our world proves Him right.

Thought Ripples . .

13 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, God, Happiness, Lessons, Positivity, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect, Success

≈ Leave a comment

What are we, if not products of our thoughts and all the ripples outwardly resulting from that thought? In terms of how we fill our minds, we live as a result with what we first created there within. How many of us start and/or end our days with thoughts that would startle others if they heard them? Or thoughts that, were they directed via speech or action towards others, would seem negative, harmful or destructive? So then why do we entertain them within our own minds, so that they have a chance to seed in our hearts and within the spirit we house internally?

Perhaps our goal in life should be to live as fruitfully for ourselves sans negative, destructive and self-abasing thoughts; just as we’re taught to keep negative, abasing and destructive comments from others! We might know that our bodies are to be maintained for the sake of how precious they are to God, being the temple of the Holy Spirit. But do we then also know our minds are part of that temple? We realize in our maturity that the only control we have in life is over our thoughts and the ensuing emotional responses, as well as our resulting actions; so we should take from that the first and most important tenant. We have control over our own thoughts! And by controlling our own thoughts to those more uplifting, more self-approving and less self-destructive by content, we elevate our being to a place which is much more positive to begin with!

The world will deliver upon us much in the way of sour news, misfortune and struggle. But if we attempt to render our own minds first the fields in which we plant uplifting, positive and self-affirming thoughtful fruit, we will make for ourselves a way to reap much more positive and affirming life! Many of us grasp the concept of treating our bodies as temples, so we keep fit or endeavor to keep healthy. But how many of us grasp that concept in regards to our own thinking and then, our emotions and our actions as a result? Thoughts are part of the organism we call our bodies. They can be fruitful or they can be destructive, hurtful and negative. I suggest we take as much control over our minds as we try to do with our bodies. Both are within our power to direct in positive and life-affirming ways! Think positively and with the purpose of affirming the wondrous being which you are! It’s easy to let the world take your thoughts to places unbecoming you, but you can take control and direct all of your being towards a much more-positive journey instead.

Don’t let life bring you down. Learn to lead life by action first rather than reacting to life as it leads you. Your body and your brain are yours to nurture. Why not give them both the best chance for having a healthy, prosperous and fruitful life? God created marvelous bodies and minds. We should attempt to treat both with great respect and loving care. Our thoughts should reflect that sense of self-respect and self-love; as from within comes the layout for all of our life as a result.

cherylriesauthor

Category Archives: Self-Respect

Overcoming, Not Status Quo and Easy Breezy . .

Be True to You!

Giving Yourself the Best Gift in Life!

The Crutch of An Excuse . .

Content With Myself . .

Facing the Giants We Fear . .

What Others Think . .

We Owe It To Ourselves . .

The World Flipping . .

Thought Ripples . .