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Tag Archives: Maturity

Going Back to School…

28 Saturday Jul 2018

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Choices, Growing, Lessons, Life, Maturity, Peace, Purpose, Wisdom

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Back to School, Maturity, Wisdom

Going back to school is really just waking up every day to face life! We never stop learning! All of our lives we must face the fact that we’re always students. We might wish we had moved past that when we left our late teens or early twenties, but in truth, we’re always students having to learn something, taking tests, studying, and moving on. It never ends, this relationship of ours as students in life! It is ongoing, through all facets, stages, and conditions in which we exist. We never stop learning, even when we are adamantly opposed to the notion, or reject the idea outright! If only we could learn to embrace the role, perhaps the role itself would help bring direction to our lives and some peace to our minds.  

During our childhood, we endured years of mandatory schooling, whereby we had to meet certain standards necessary for us to move forward into new pursuits and educational challenges. There wasn’t a way to evade that part of our journey, especially during my generation. Public schools were the norm, and standards were created nationally as well as by each state to keep all students aligned with the pursuit of obtaining certain educational goals. There were standards required in every subject, for every grade level, and for every type of school. The only way we could get to higher grades and levels of achievement in those grades was by accomplishing each grade’s standards before moving on to the next. In my generation, the late baby boomers, there weren’t many opportunities to bypass public school, unless our parents could afford to send us to private schools. There weren’t many home-schooled children that I knew of, and there were no online schools or diploma alternative tests. We were either students, at least from kindergarten through the end of high school, or we were drop-outs. 

Having no real choice in the matter, as education seemed essential and mandatory, I then went into each new grade with a sense that it was necessary for my future and inevitable for my progress! Being a student was the role I was in from the age of five through seventeen. I went from grade school to middle school and then high school. The first period of choice I had after those twelve years of not dropping out was going to college when I was seventeen. I chose to go. It wasn’t until sometime in my mid-twenties that I realized the whole student/learning process I had celebrated when it had finally concluded in my early twenties actually hadn’t ended at all! It was still ongoing and never ends until the day we die!    

Every day we are learning, going through some lesson, facing some test(s), and determining through such profound moments whether or not we progress onward in our lives! Our role as students in life never ceases, as we are always moving into new circumstances, developing other skills, becoming more adept, learning something new, changing our minds, and growing in wisdom. Each new day we should wake up preparing for that day’s classroom called life! Every day we are really still just students going back to school, but in a classroom without walls, our teachers coming and going with their unique lessons, and our homework found in attitudinal shifts, mental challenges, and quizzical mysteries. We are in one long grade from the time we leave our formal educational confines, the role of actual student, and officially graduate into life. It’s called the process of maturing, and it takes all of our lives to do well! It also takes accepting that we’re never done being a student of something, today, tomorrow, and the next. Each day we must face our lessons, tests, and hope for promotion onward to the next day’s subjects, lessons, tests, and so on. 

Tomorrow when you awaken, the bell will be ringing…school has begun! 

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Maturing is What Our Souls Do…

10 Saturday Feb 2018

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Choices, Fear, Growing, Lessons, Life, Maturity, Persistence, Purpose, Strength, Trials, Wisdom

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Maturity, Strength, Wisdom

Growing up is what our bodies do, maturing is what our souls do. When life comes at us rapidly and we don’t know how to handle what we are experiencing, it’s just life’s way of letting us know we aren’t as mature as we could be or need to be! We need to do more to prepare ourselves to deal and cope with the future challenges ahead.  

Don’t cheat yourself out of the necessary experiences which propel you to maturity by evading them or escaping from your share of responsibility for them! All of that in life which you might experience which is really difficult, painful, or frightening, cannot destroy you unless you let it. In the face of everything which feels uncomfortable and at times disturbing, you must hunker down, find your strength, persevere through, and eventually overcome! 

That is our challenge throughout life, to resolve our own dilemmas, to face our fears, to cope with our emotions, and to learn through experience the wisdom necessary to move onward even through the most difficult, life-altering, or perplexing matters. At the end of our road, with such purposeful focus, we’re sure to be as noticeably mature within as we are visibly grown on the outside!

The Gift That Keeps Giving . .

10 Monday Apr 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, God, Life, Maturity, Strength

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Fruit of the Spirit, Maturity, Patience, Wisdom

Patience is the lesson learned through many of life’s complications, trivial and more serious! It’s the realization that you’ll have to tolerate what at the time and at the moment seems intolerable, even if only for a short time! Patience is a fruit of our Spirit, found within us naturally, but surely requiring lessons and purposeful attention to developing! Patience convinces us to remain calm, to stay peaceful within, to consider situations purposefully, and to not react without first thinking things through. Patience accepts flaws and tolerates the imperfections of human nature and life itself!  

I try not to measure my patience or lack there of! As soon as I crow about my patience through something, it will invariably bring on a challenge or test which causes me to eat my words! I think God teaches us in the middle of our trials so that we know it’s not of our doing, but His! And if I am ever actually sufficient in patience, I will surely know that it is God’s handiwork in my life. It surely wouldn’t be all my doing! I still struggle, daily!

 

This past week, while finishing up the pruning and trimming of some trees in my yard, trying to clean up after Winter in preparation for Summer ahead, I was attacked by tiny black ants biting my feet! I was actually doing the last few things on my list early one morning when it occurred. The attack was annoying at the moment, but I brushed the pesky ants off and continued my work until I could get out of their reach. It wasn’t until later on, and especially in days to come, that I paid attention to the effects of their foray with my feet! The bites I received became highly sensitive to itching whenever they were touched or even brushed against. And if I actually forgot about the bites while half-asleep, scratching my feet mindlessly, I set off a terrible itch almost instantly! It was so annoying to suffer the side effect from that one brief moment in the yard for several days afterward. Even anti-itch creams took their sweet time to work on the seven or so inflamed spots on both my feet!  

Finally, the itching passed, after a few tedious days. But the whole event felt like the gift that keeps on giving for that time! That is the hard thing about being patient, it requires strength and perseverance over a set of circumstances which usually are not all that pleasant or fun, much less something we’ve chosen! Much like the bites on my feet, the event itself was not much fun, and the continued itch was surely unpleasant! Patience was required if I didn’t want to drive myself insane!  

Now, not all tests of our patience are so trivial. Not all tests are so short-term or so inconsequential to our lives overall. We often have to endure lengthy ordeals which eat away at our ability to stay the course! Emotions are usually the reason for waning patience! We just hate to endure what we don’t want to. And any discomfort, any pain, anything through which we process negative emotions, are the attacks we wage on our own fledgling patience muscles! We fight a barrage of emotions and feelings which encourage us to abandon our budding patience in favor of having what we what now, rather than enduring what we find difficult or even impossible! Patience is always a test of our will, our emotions giving way against our determination to persist with maturity against our own emotions! To be able to control one’s own emotions is a sign of maturity, as then one has more dominion over self! The more emotionally immature we are, the more reactionary we tend to be and thus, unable to stand strong against whatever our emotions dictate. Comfort, ease, need, desire, fear, insecurity and many other internal drives play upon our emotions. We hate to be uncomfortable, to feel deprived, to have unmet needs, or to suffer for any length of time! And so, we settle for less, choose an alternative, or give up on what we’re pursuing rather than patiently forge ahead.

Patience it is said is a virtue. It can protect us from emotional contests, willful battles, and serious mistakes which take us off course. Patience leads to more civility amongst people and prospers respect for others. It is only through our patience that we learn to be humble, to tolerate others, and to wait for what is truly meant to be ours. Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit because it enables us to deal with one another with more loving kindness and better reason, as each of us is unique and independent, it gives us more measured concern. It is required in life to keep us from falling into bad habits, from making hasty erroneous judgments, and from reacting without forethought. And most of all, patience teaches us the art of self-control, self-discipline, and self-acceptance, as our flaws and failings are a natural part of the human experience. And the more patient we are with our own flaws, the more patient we are with those of others!

Now, if I could just be patient about ant bites and other buggy assaults! 

Overcoming, Not Status Quo and Easy Breezy . .

20 Saturday Aug 2016

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Confidence, Courage, Discipline, Faith, God, Growing, Lessons, Life, Maturity, Opportunity, Positivity, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect, Strength, Success

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Maturity, Overcoming, Perseverance, Strength

We aren’t here to live a life free of problems, but rather to motivate, to inspire and to elevate ourselves and others around us through them. We’re meant to rise to the occasion, to learn, to grow and to mature within to be able to take on more problems as well as to develop our abilities to handle greater challenges ahead. How do we do that if we and those we nurture are encouraged to hide from our problems, or worse, kept purposefully from them?? Problems seem to be now viewed as problematic, the very ways in which we challenge our status quo in life now have taken on such a stigma, we often want to escape instead!download

 

 

Facing our problems is the only way we know how strong and tough we can be as the “overcomers” we are meant to be! Hiding, denying, ignoring, backing away, settling for less, or creating safe spaces only cripples us within. We must accept challenges as part of the continuous growing cycle we are always in, we must experience lessons and tests as the ongoing way in which we mature and develop ourselves in life’s perpetual classroom. If we were to live life sans problems, challenges or tests, we would never learn about our own inner strength, our fortitude or most of our abilities. Status quo and easy-breezy doesn’t really teach us about ourselves, nor does it develop within us the appreciation, acknowledgement or awareness of our metal, our own persevering spirit or our maturity as time passes. Overcoming gives us that. When we overcome and mature through things, we develop more self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. Of course, all of that is God’s gift to us, through His gift of love within us to begin with. We are meant to be overcomers because God made us to so. In this world, we face daily challenges and must learn to rise to those challenges to become more. There are infinite opportunities each new day for us to become something more and someone greater than who we are today!   Positive-quotes-about-problems-solution-quotes

 

Even if we ourselves created some of the taxing problems we are now enduring through accidental or purposeful choices, we must accept the responsibility we now face for extricating ourselves from the constraints those problems represent. Problems always offer us a chance to be overcomers! And that is always a more inspiring and uplifting response rather than denial or flight. God is with us as we endeavour and pursue the ways to move forward, through and beyond our current issues and problems. But we will not learn how to make our way if we choose to always make our way safer, easier, and problem-free. Accepting problems as the necessary learning experiences they represent is always the best way to keep our peace in this world. Doing otherwise makes our journey more miserable and our role as problem-solver less rewarding.  

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Waiting While Waiting . .

16 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Discipline, Lessons, Patience, Self-Control, Strength

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Maturity, Patience, Waiting

Waiting is often the hardest thing to do! As Tom Petty has warbled in the song, The Waiting: “The waiting is the hardest part . . Every day you see one more card . . You take it on faith, you take it to the heart . . The waiting is the hardest part . . “. We’re usually waiting for promises to be kept, waiting for dreams to come to fruition, waiting for word, waiting for action, waiting for life to reach a desirable state so that we might act, or waiting to hear some news! All the ways we wait remind us to be patient, enduring and persistent. We may have no choice but to wait, we may realize we have plenty of ways to take baby steps in the direction towards that which we await. We may just have to call upon our inner stores of strength and summon every ounce of faith and patience we have, but we shall wait over and over! And for those things worthy of waiting, the wait must prove worthy in return!   5d497d380de97067918144d3faeb9ae0

 

Expect what you may, endeavor what you might, make patient your rest when that is what you must, but in all regards know that the waiting itself brings us the gift of strength and stamina by just occurring! We build our inner selves in great part working towards and waiting for things, events, goals, and developments. We mature a lot by waiting while we keep on going! Know that whatever you faithfully await in life today, it comes only by way of your patient resolve and persistent fortitude, enduring until you no longer need wait. And then the cycle repeats, in some new way, in regards to some other matter, but such is life! In fact, often the cycle of waiting for things overlaps other matters in which we are doing the same thing – waiting some outcome, development or desired conclusion.

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Just because of how often and how much we wait in life, learning to self-discipline and self-control our emotions, reactions, and perceived endurance might come in handy! Develop fully the fruit of your Spirit that is patience, for it gives you the sustenance you need when you are waiting!    Signature02

By Way Of the Cross . .

23 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Christianity, Faith, Growing, Lessons, Maturity, Wisdom

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Christianity, Maturity, Spiritual Growth

I enjoy wearing my small cross around my neck when I go out into the world, not to proclaim to others my chosen beliefs as a Christian, as it is barely visible there; but to remind me of the living example by which I am to be shaping my behavior, words and thoughts. I may not always live up to what others think of me or expect from me; but when I feel that cross of Christ hanging around my neck, my first thought is about what He will think of me and how much He loves me.  Gospel-Foolishness

It has been a wonderful reminder, as a positive impact in my daily life; but also as an indictment for errant thoughts, words and actions for which I needed reproach or correction. That seemingly insignificant piece of jewelry stops me from being snarky; it often silences me from gossiping and from reacting in anger or from acting out in some other inappropriate way, when my quick-thinking mind and mouth just want to react. Maybe I put too much power in that little cross; but I have found it a significant way in which the Holy Spirit reminds me of my commitment to spiritual growth and maturity as a follower of Christ!   

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God works within us through the Holy Spirit, with His Word; and externally through others to teach, shape, change, develop and challenge us to become more like the Son whom He sent to save and redeem us! If we aren’t willing to be His pupils at any moment and in every moment, we will miss many chances to willingly sit on the Potter’s wheel; we will stunt our growth and undermine the ongoing processes of spiritual maturity which God sets into play the minute we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior! God wasn’t looking for a stagnant body, content to stay where we are when we find Him; but rather He created us all to be an obedient body of disciples who are actively pursuing and developing our individual and very personal relationship with Him! So I look for all ways in which I may draw into God through the Holy Spirit, in the name of Jesus . . by way of the cross!   Signature02

Gauging the Temperature . .

30 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Discipline, Humility, Maturity, Offense, Pride, Self-Control, Wisdom

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Ego, Maturity, Self-Control

A quick mind is not always a blessing, in that the mouth has often spoken before the soul has had time to gauge the temperature of the message. It’s not just for the sake of others that we should learn to use constraint in our thoughts, words and deeds. We have a lot to gain from self-control and discipline, especially when it comes to the emotional reactions we have or might have while our buttons are being pushed! Often times, we react before we have had time to assess the value, venom or vile in our own words! And our words can be even more harmful within us than they are powerful or life-altering to others.  a-quote-it-up-9

It’s not entirely unacceptable or ill-advised to criticize, to reproach or to correct others in their behaviors and speech; but when we do, we expose ourselves to all of that in return, all while exposing at heart our motive in doing so. Unless we are doing so to help the other person, to rectify a misjudgment or to correct the circumstances within a particular situation, we’re possibly lashing out just to be right. And that is often not as advisable a seat from which to launch an attack on someone! We all have our right to opinion, belief and freedom of expression. So when another shares an opinion in which we have a momentary negative reaction, perhaps it provokes in us some anger, then we owe it to all concerned to examine why we feel as we do. Perhaps we’ve jumped to our reaction. Maybe we’re not open to a new point of view. And just maybe it is something we know for a fact is wrong or ill-advised. The best response is always a thoughtful one! If we know there is a price within us for our words, thoughts, deeds and the way we behave towards others, then we will temper and measure from within first. We should share with others our opinions, beliefs and thoughts. We should act in accordance with those. But we shouldn’t assume that our way is the only way, that we are always right or that it is up to us to change others to suit us!   Be-selective-in-your-battles

Too many people nowadays react and respond without thinking through the cost of such a step to those involved and more importantly even, to themselves. We must learn to mature in our ability to control our emotions, such that when we feel the need to react, we are first able to control and discipline ourselves enough to examine our own reaction prior to responding. Maturity is not about having the need to be right all the time or the requirement to vindicate one’s own beliefs, thoughts, words or actions. Maturity requires a more disciplined and controlled approach to life; it requires going beyond the seconds involved in a reaction and response, to consider what might happen next. Maturity looks ahead at the cost of reactions and responses, it weighs the virtue or detriment to every thought, word and deed. It measures the soul’s weight before and after an emotion, considering the potential for baggage which comes from reacting in error! Maturity teaches us the invaluable lesson of responsibility, consequence and lightening our soul’s load. Maturity within gives us confidence and supports our self-esteem, so that we don’t have to prove our ego’s cries for vindication, rightness or acclaim! And when we learn those lessons, we are more civil in society; we aren’t as concerned with our ego’s own need to be right, we’re less fragile and insecure, we’ve less need to put others down for the sake of building ourselves up. We truly are more tolerant and accepting, no matter the opinions, words, beliefs, thoughts and deeds of others! Inner peace is the badge of honor we get to possess when we master a level of maturity which self-controls and self-disciplines emotions, reactions, and responses.

Rolling With the Changes . .

02 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Change, Choices, Conquering Fear, Contentment, Courage, Growing, Joy, Lessons

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Acceptance, Change, Maturity

I’m rolling with the changes . . otherwise the brakes of resistance I try to apply wear out from fighting against the natural state of things. Life is ever-changing and though we might believe ourselves easily rocked by all the change we experience, we are only able to truly grow and develop when we’re forced out of our comfort zones. Change is life!  Persistence-and-Determination

We begin as babies incapable of fending for ourselves or appraising our own course; were we not to change, we wouldn’t even understand that we had life! So why does it often become harder to accept all the change of life by the middle or perceived end? I suppose it is our awareness having awakened us to the realities of life’s abruptness and unfiltered truths. Life can seem so hard once we understand loss, brevity, failure, fear, doubt, worry, anxiety, lack, need, and all the emotions which push upon our souls. But at the same time, life is supposed to have prepared us each step of the way for exactly what comes next, known or unknown. We should know by now that we’re not invincible, infallible and that our time is not infinite here on earth; but we should also believe ourselves successful at having made it this far!  Socrates-Quote-on-Change

We’ve learned, grown, developed, overcome, strengthened our minds, bodies and spirits for the journey yet to come! Why then be reticent when changes happen? Without change there can be no actual growth or development in us or around us, in which we might take great pleasure in having mastered another life skill or challenge! Life wouldn’t be much at all were we to remain as we once were. If we keep applying the brakes to our life as it changes around us – hiding or diverting from the changes we fear, dread or imagine – we risk stalling, crashing or disabling our own lives in the process. In the end, life is really the sum of all that we met and overcame in pursuit of some level of contentment, inner peace and joy within our souls! We should welcome the changes as new tests and testimonies for having stood tall and strong in this life!  

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Be True to You!

31 Sunday May 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Confidence, Integrity, Maturity, Self-Control, Self-Respect

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Authenticity, Maturity, Self-Respect

When I was little, my mother told me that it was much more important to be myself than to seek the acceptance or permission of others, altering my behavior and beliefs accordingly. She assured me that I would always be alright and loved as long as I first maintained my own integrity by being genuine, self-accepting and self-loving. And so it is with life, (another “Mom” point I have had to give her), we are supposed to develop who we are from within; assessing our thoughts, words and actions in accordance with what we know, learn and process.authentic-quote

We’re meant to determine for ourselves what it is that we believe and live within the confines of those beliefs. We’re supposed to discover our own talents and abilities based on what it is we can do, regardless what others have as gifts and natural talents. We’re meant to learn and to develop our minds, our bodies and our spirits as we’re able to, as we’re all unique and individual. We aren’t meant to listen to the prevailing dialogue, or be swayed by the winds of the times as though what we know or believe has no weight. We are not all supposed to think alike, dress alike, walk alike or talk alike! We might change our beliefs and adapt our skills according to our experiences and by what we’ve learned over time. We might even have significant shifts in what we hold to be true based on just growing up or having lived through certain life-changing moments.  But we’re to be true to ourselves, regardless the influences of others or the pressure they can exert. If we aren’t true to ourselves, not only will others find us unappealing, but we won’t even have the comfort of liking ourselves!


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So the surest way to be in life is 100% okay with who we are as people. If we act in ways that we cannot accept or which compromise our integrity, we’ll note within a sense of unbalance or ill-rhythm. It is inevitable, as my mother promised . . we must first develop the core of who and what we are from within; building a solid foundation on which to create our lives. Then we are to live our life in the manner in which we’ve set our beliefs, established our boundaries and determined our abilities. Let no one dictate to you their moral sense or lack thereof. Let no other person make you feel bad for having a varied set of beliefs or for making mistakes.  Accept the responsibility for choosing to live in accordance with your own values, beliefs and abilities; as well as the consequences for faulty choices in the process. Let no one tell you how to live your life! It is yours to live, even with mistakes, chances and mishaps. Own it all and live it with a determined will to be faithful to who and what you are!


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Many these days are involved in censoring and even condemning others for values, beliefs and lifestyles which differ from their own; yet in their censorship or condemnation, they still cannot take on the weight of the responsibility for success, failures or consequences outside of their own. Learning to live with confidence and self-assurance, as well as self-acceptance, enables us to better mind our own business; as our security with our own life choices makes us better able to give others the same level of respect in theirs!  Signature02

It’s a Hard-Knock Life . . Making Mistakes

21 Saturday Feb 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, Growing, Lessons, Maturity

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Maturity, Overcoming mistakes, Personal growth

The problem with some mistakes – we keep making them! That is until we learn what we need to from them, in order that we recognize the situations leading us to make the same choices; as well as the necessity and reasons for us to no longer do the same things or think the same way! Mistakes aren’t inherently bad for us, IF we do take the lessons we’re presented through each one by which we learn, we make changes, we develop and grow beyond. But many of us only accept the mistakes repeatedly by making the same types of choices, often complaining that things don’t go our way, aren’t right for us or offering us much in life. images goals 3

We just haven’t learned the process of viewing everything which happens to us in life, including mistakes, hard lessons and painful episodes, as the impetus for our own personal development. We stay in a rut comforting ourselves with our lack of confidence, our low sense of self-worth, our agony over life’s seeming unfairness, our hurt feelings, our wounded pride, our insecurity, our anger over the way things are, our fear of change, our stubborn refusal to let it all go and/or our continual self-pity party. Perhaps we’ve learned that we get more attention wearing the negative circumstances of our lives like badges of survival and courage; rather than viewing them as minor steps in the process of our personal development which lead us to the real badges of honor, those of having successfully managed and maneuvered through this thing called life!  imageschange

Only when we realize that we could do better, we should do more as we’re responsible for our own lives, so we might want to make changes because we have loftier expectations for ourselves, do we begin to see situations with the light of our own honest appraisal and recognition. It is only when we value our own life enough to not settle, to not accept less, to be fully responsible for all the goals we’ve made and met,  and to accept every outcome and circumstance as part of the process of life’s continual school of learning and self-development that we truly become our own life’s manager. All circumstances of our life are then viewed as potential lessons intrinsic to our development and growth through the process of choice, adaptation, learning and correction so that we become more – even with each mistake we make!  Signature02

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