Discipline Brings Rewards . .

12 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Lessons, Patience, Self-Control, Strength

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When disciplining our own behavior brings us rewards immediately, our will is much easier to muster. But when discipline promises rewards which aren’t yet noticeable, haven’t yet paid-off with any “rewards” or given us much measurable success, we have to dig down deeper into our stores of will and perseverance. It’s then when we learn of what stuff we are made. It is then that we know how committed we are to whatever it is we’re trying to achieve, to accomplish or to be.

Our personal success might depend on others at times, it may rely in part on random occurrences which alter our course; but our successes are always a direct result and dependent upon how much will, determination, discipline and fortitude we choose to exert when things aren’t paying off or coming so easily! Our dig-down-to-it-ed-ness and our desire to be, do, have or make something come to fruition must be more worthwhile and prized than the weight of all the time passing, or how tiresome it becomes in process.

Climbing up a mountain can be a grueling and tiresome venture. But at the top awaits the reward! There is a 360 degree vista at the apex which is like no other on the way up. There is the joy and sense of accomplishment of having made the ascent and done the hard work! Easy living rarely brings such tremendous uplifting victories to our soul by way of joy and contentment, much less by bringing such a boost to our self-worth or confidence. It is usually in the hard, endurance-worthy, time-contributed, sweat-raising, questionable matters by which we earn our greatest payoffs!

There are gains in easy, no-sweat victories for sure. But not like the gains and rewards when discipline is a genuine investment! You can choose, do I sit out the hard stuff just because it requires more energy, time and will; or do I discipline myself for those matters which truly require it because they bring more to me in the end?!

Content With Myself . .

25 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, God, Life, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

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Contentment, Love, Self-Esteem

The older I get, the more I realize that lite isn’t about changing myself to suit others or to please others or to follow anyone else’s lead. Life is about growing, changing, learning, and becoming whomever it is I was meant to be and being accepting of that person through it all! That means I live in step with my values, my beliefs and in an such a way as to uphold daily my character. It doesn’t mean that I look for ease in everything, expect everyone’s approval or think I know it all by now. It means that I’m not content in anything or with anyone else unless I first am content with myself – able to discern my own self-worth and to love myself regardless the presence or absence of others and in spite of all circumstances, including my own flaws and imperfections! And that contentment with myself is paramount to a life spent people pleasing, agreeing with or assuring others instead.

It’s not selfish to do so, it’s self-preserving to live one’s own life for the sake of preserving one’s innermost core of values, beliefs and character; and most importantly, in preserving one’s own sense of self-worth, self-love and self-acceptance. Otherwise we might risk becoming yet another of the lost, seemingly-uncertain and unaware souls who don’t know their own value first and foremost because they’ve placed all measure and determination of that most critical appraisal in the tenuous hands of others or in the worth of things attained.

And don’t we see the obvious effects of those lost souls daily in our news broadcasts, in stories of such tragedies and loss? Those are the stories of people who aren’t able, at a time or in a moment to remember the value of their own lives, much less the lives of others. They’ve placed their own esteem in the hands of others, or lost it for themselves by not living in accord with their beliefs or values; or believed it was equitable to what they’ve accomplished or had achieved. Such sad stories when we know a person’s worth is priceless because it comes from God, were only all souls made known of that fact!

Every person’s value is infinite! All of us face times of great consternation, pain and wearing-down of self; but those who live with awareness of their worth first through Him tend to persist through their life storms with more will and tenacity because they know unequivocally that critical measure! They aren’t so-easily eroded by the influences of other humans or by the passing fancy of circumstance. Contentment starts by rooting in the firmament of God rather than in the shaky ground of mere humanity.

Facing the Storms, Fearlessly . .

22 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Discipline, Integrity, Life, Self-Esteem

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character, Courage, Fear

It’s often fear, worry or doubt which makes us run from challenges, storms and the random turmoil of life; but then it’s failure, regret and insufficient results with which we are left in their wake! A part of us always loses when we walk (or run!) away from a challenge, cower in the face of our storms or let the circumstances of life keep us from living our life to the fullest measure. Pieces of our own integrity are lost, chunks of our self-confidence are eroded, and our own belief in our abilities is etched away.

Each challenge, storm, or difficult circumstance which we encounter in this life serves as an opportunity to provide to us so much in the way of personal growth and development. But not if we let fear, worry or self-doubt keeps us from facing it head on or ultimately conquering it. Every time we let those emotions win, we fail to realize the rewards of improved confidence, awareness and self-esteem for having bested them! A big life lesson is learned every time we push through . . accepting our challenges and relishing the lessons inherent in them!

Many people choose to claim their challenges, their miseries and their life’s turmoil as badges of honor; but the real badge of honor is in beating it down and in besting it all! It’s in the overcoming where we become so much more than we imagined! So many people keep track of their losses, their failures, their miseries and the discord of life so that they can use the tally as an excuse to stay safely where they are; rather than realizing those same events and challenges provide opportunity for growth, change and understanding!

The fight to overcome what comes at us in life with courage and willful tenacity rewards us with confident, purposeful and deliberate growth, enhanced stability and assurances from within! School is in session each new day . . make it your goal to pass the tests of life as they appear with courage and tenacity; and to continue in developing your own potential as you progress through the years!

What Others Think . .

13 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, God, Gratitude, Happiness, Humility, Love, Peace, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

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Confidence, God, Self-worth

Often we think it matters more what others think of us, if we’re acceptable or alright in their eyes. But we mustn’t forget that what matters most in this world is how we appraise ourselves and who we are in God’s eyes. Others will have their opinions, fleeting, and based on their own limited knowledge and awareness. Perhaps they never fully know the inner workings of our hearts, minds and spirits. So basing our own self-appraisal on limited thought and consideration provides us with a limited or faulty appraisal. But God knows us through and through. We cannot hide who we are from Him! We cannot hide who we are from ourselves. It is all self-evident in our choices, in our family-lives, in our pursuits, in our hobbies, in our friendships and in our priorities. Spending time on developing the inner soul and sanctum means more in this life than any measure of outer approval rendered by any other means. We simply cannot ever be “enough” measured by anything external to us when such an appraisal is needed for just our ego’s sake.

We should always endeavor to be self-propelled and self-managed, rather than relying upon the conditional approval of others. When we cede our ego’s appraisal to any outside source, we lose pieces and parts, clarity and awareness, from our identity within. I’ve witnessed so many people nearly destroyed by not getting the favorable opinions or praise from others that should have been established from within them – by knowing who they are, by believing in and respecting themselves, by establishing themselves in the known love of God.

Human appraisal is not sustaining and is need-based; but self-acceptance formed through His love and promises is! Self-acceptance, self-respect and self-love fully-formed out of knowing who we are and from where we rightfully come is undeniable, firm and indelible. It’s nice to have others affirm qualities about us or compliment us on various aspects of our lives or person; but what is even nicer is having genuine self-acceptance of all that God has created us to be, with our foothold in self-confidence, self-love and self-respect regardless the opinions of others!

Confronting Fear . .

12 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Fear, Lessons, Self-Control, Strength

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Courage, Fear

Living with fear can really put a damper on your life. It can stop you in your tracks, keep you from living fully and prevent you from growing into the best version of you that you can be! Fear is truly like a restraint laid upon our souls and spirits, whereby our movement, growth and success can be limited. We might feel fear for a genuine reason, such as a threat perceived; but if we don’t learn how to face that fear or to overcome fears, we end up giving our power to them!

Fear is a challenge, in that by feeling fearful, we are forced to confront whatever it is we dread or doubt – before we can accomplish what we must. Fear is also the source of doubt within us as to our own abilities! When fear rears its ugly head, we might let it negate our ability to muster the courage required to do what we must in spite! Fear also depletes our confidence, pieces at a time! If we let fear win whenever we’re forced to confront it but don’t, we eventually diminish our self-confidence and self-respect in turn. There is nothing to do when we feel fear but to confront it!

Fear is a rallying cry within us to muster up courage. Every time we muster that courage, we knock fear back to manageable sizes within us. Every time we don’t, however, fear then grows exponentially! If we leave fear unabated within us, so that it looms over our lives with increasing power; we will suffer a loss of self-worth. Fears are muscles we flex for numerous reasons; we aren’t certain, we have doubts or perhaps we don’t want to make mistakes. But instead of flexing the muscles of fears, we can feel it but then flex the countering muscle of courage! When we feel fearful yet act courageously to overcome or abate our fear, we can truly propel our maturity and growth as a result! As the saying goes, Feel the fear, but do it anyway!

We Owe It To Ourselves . .

10 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Courage, Discipline, Exploration, Fullness, Life, Self-Respect, Strength

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explorer, growth, Learning

We owe it to ourselves to understand the way things are, what we believe about the world and our place in it. We do no one, most especially ourselves, any good when we accept the opinions of others on face value or live our lives as echoes of others whom we view favorably or by fandom for their supposed celebrity. This is our life, our journey and our passage through it. If we aren’t going to make choices which reflect what it is that reflects our inner core of values and beliefs, then we aren’t going to have a life which feels comfortable and is meaningful to us.

Someone dear to me never ceases to amaze me in her insistent and persistent endeavors. She moves through life individually, and purposefully as such, attempting, learning and developing herself. She has a full life of experiences as a result! She might not be the master of any one thing, but she will be able to relish her participation in each and every manner in which she participates. Life is meant to be savored, tasted, tried and experienced. We’re meant to learn, to practice, to endeavor, to attempt, to challenge and to develop skills through all the challenges we master. We might not be proficient enough at some of those things to earn our income or to rely upon them for providing our sole support; but we can qualify ourselves as ably and aptly learned in such matters.

But for those who don’t love or respect themselves enough to take the time to explore their own hearts and minds; to find preferences, skills, talents, abilities and acceptable beliefs, nothing is learned at all! Without first knowing a thirst from wanting to develop and grow because we believe ourselves worthy such endeavors, we won’t push ourselves beyond the familiar or the simple. And often the simple is to take what others say or do rather than to work on developing those preferences for ourselves.

Moving into the “explorer” mindset is as easy as knowing we’re worth such an effort! That person who is dear to me does what she does because she is feeding her soul. She is learning, developing and growing her mind, her talents, her abilities and her experiences because she is compelled by a desire to be a full, learned individual! Don’t accept what others have done or limit yourself to living vicariously through others. Find a way to challenge anew your heart, mind and your spirit to grow, to learn and to develop something new; and to realize who you are and what makes you tick! Imagine the life you can have when you assert your belief in yourself?! Just igniting that fire within you is to empower yourself to have the fullest, most interesting and experienced life possible.

The World Flipping . .

01 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, Family, God, Lessons, Life, Self-Control, Self-Respect, Wisdom

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The world is officially flipping. As my grandmother said way back in the mid-nineties, aliens have taken over the bodies and minds of many average citizens. I cannot imagine how she would surmise current events and the spectacles which fill the daily news feeds all these years later. People in the asylum now have hold of the keys and are in charge of the daily management of the facility! In all good humor, I present her thesis and my amendment; but with all seriousness, I relent in this appraisal. It saddens me how far we have strayed from the moral and character-driven culture we once were for the most part. America is now a nation flipped and upside down with immorality, deceit and implausible considerations.

We were never perfect, there was always evil and sin; but now more and more of us believe in less and less. We strive it seems to be more outlandish and to live more on the fringes of what so many deem boring and mundane. Marriage, family, faith and good character are no longer in vogue; those values and beliefs have been replaced with cultural norms which shock many of the middle of America to their core. My grandmother was ahead of her time in seeing the results of years of turning from God, of replacing family orientation with its opposite; and with vulgarity and with lewdness as a means of changing the rut of boring and common-place middle-American values and beliefs. Those traditional core beliefs were deemed oppressive and confining by a new generation of people who rebel against such structure and confines upon their own behavior. Many have given up controlling themselves in favor of instantaneous gratification and immediate pleasure. Self-control is now freely ceded for governmental constraint, too much is not enough when it comes to laws and regulations to form and shape our behaviors because we seem unable and unwilling to self-control and self-regulate; and furthermore, to accept responsibility for our own actions! And therein we find the source of the dilemma!

So few want to be constrained and confined to the standards which living moral and character-driven lives entails. Faith, God and family are now passé! Instead we have foul, unfamiliar and upside-down/backwards as our new reality! The counter-culture now runs our schools, our media, our government and our lives; much to the chagrin of middle-America, which still clings to their family, faith and moral traditions. Fortunately, God is still in charge of the world, regardless who chooses to believe it might be so! It is. I await His correction of this upside-down/backwards and side-stepping, ego-driven society. I’m sure He is growing tired of our childish insistence that we know best, when surely the resulting chaos and instability in our world proves Him right.

How to Pursue With Purpose . .

20 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Faith, Inspiration, Lessons, Life, Patience, Self-Control, Wisdom

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Some things come easily, we get what we want when we want it! Other things we desire and set as goals in our lives take some time and more effort to pursue. Often in that time, we find the pressing of effort, the impediment of challenges faced and the patience required to be taxing, so we want to give up. But if we want what we say we want, wouldn’t it be worth our hunkering down to find the extra go-for-it-muscles we have within us?

If we let go of our dreams because they’re proving hard to achieve, aren’t we also letting go of our chance to discover something great within and about ourselves? Don’t we then run the risk of not having something we value and esteem as worthwhile in our lives?? It’s rare to find great things and great results easily. Usually in life, the value and worth we assign to things is higher and given more to those things which require more effort, time, endurance and even cost in obtaining. But the reason we give them value higher than any other thing is exactly because we have realized for ourselves their measure to attain and to earn exceeds all others! Were everything easy to have and to get, we would assess nothing as having any value or worth. It would all be rendered as cheap to us.

So it is with the pursuit of our goals. Were all our goals so easy to achieve and without any “cost” or effort to us, we would soon find nothing inspiring or excellent in their pursuit. It is only because we find something worthwhile, that we hunker down and pursue it with all of our ability, effort and patience! Next time you’re growing tired, while in pursuit of your goals and dreams, prior to giving up on the pursuit . . ask yourself this question: what did I find so valuable for my life in the first place upon achieving this goal? What was the perceived reward to me? If you still believe achieving a goal to be rewarding and having something to be valuable, then don’t quit on it regardless the effort, cost or time involved! Remember that it is only in those things which don’t come too easily or cheaply that value comes into your life! Worth is measured not by things which are first worthless to you – easy to have and readily available – but rather by those things which make you realize their worth in pursuit, effort and attainment! Don’t quit forever because quitting seems easier in a moment!

Making Goals Into Reality . .

08 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Inspiration, Lessons, Opportunity, Positivity

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goals

Sometimes we’re so set on the end result and the defining goals we wish to achieve, that we forget to celebrate the significant steps we accomplish in pursuit! And when we fail to notice the progress we’re making along the way, we might choose to give up, thinking we’re never going to reach that target – whatever it may be! Learning to appraise our progress, even if it seems insignificant in comparison to the overall goal we’ve set, can help us to stay motivated and purposefully committed to staying the course! You may not run the whole length in your first attempt at the track, but one day you will! You may not finish the book you’re writing the day you begin the first chapter, but one day you will! You might not have lost all the weight you want to yet, but what you’ve lost means there’s less to lose! You may not have reached the position which you believe you deserve yet, but working hard in the position you now hold will probably get you closer! All goals can seem a bit overwhelming when we view them in their entirety. Breaking each of our goals up into stages which can be measured and evaluated while in pursuit, enables you to bite off bits of the whole all while nibbling away at the goal in total! You learn to view being successful in part as motivational and inspiring; rather than seeing your goals as such vast and unfinished failures in the making as a result!

The Muscles of Courage

04 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faith, Fear, Integrity, Lessons

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Our world takes great courage to live! I suspect it always has. These times are not meant for the shrinking violets, who only utilize their courage muscles when the grass is green, the rains fall gently and everything is going their way! These times are meant for those who look into the vast, darkened expanses of the unknown and the uncertain – fearful – yet conditioned by their own courage to face them. We are truly nothing if we succumb to every emotion which we might feel, such as fear; or if we walk away from every challenge and believe ourselves unworthy of every effort. We are tougher than we know, as we haven’t faced all of our challenges yet! Fear, and all the other emotions which prompt us to retreat in life, is just like the monster which hid under our bed as children. We had to learn to make our peace with that monster by facing our fears, or we wouldn’t have had much sleep!

It is no different as we age; we must face our fears or let them rule the vast unseen spaces of our life with monster force! Courage is the most necessary tool we have in our inner arsenals to face life, at all times. Without it, we become enslaved to the uncertainty and unknowns of life at almost every turn; because we are slaves first to our own fearful thoughts and emotions when we encounter those types of situations. With courage, we not only learn how to feel fear, but we develop muscles which allow us to press through those feelings! Courage is the belief that what lies under the bed is not nearly as scary to us, as the sense of lying in our beds safely and comfortably is great for us! Courage is going out into the world, uncertain and seemingly fearful of whatever danger and unknown awaits us; but believing that going out is worth doing so nonetheless!

What lies on the other side of our fears, because we have courage and faith, is the reward for standing strong in the face of our fears. Like any muscle, courage developed within us, gives us the strength, the ability and the assurance to look even our worst fear in the eye and defeat it with faith and confidence! But that comes only when we continually exercise those muscles of courage we have within us! Truly courage, like all of our muscles, must be used or lost!

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Category Archives: Character

Discipline Brings Rewards . .

Content With Myself . .

Facing the Storms, Fearlessly . .

What Others Think . .

Confronting Fear . .

We Owe It To Ourselves . .

The World Flipping . .

How to Pursue With Purpose . .

Making Goals Into Reality . .

The Muscles of Courage