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Tag Archives: Acceptance

Change is Surely Inevitable . .

19 Monday Jun 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Choices, Conquering Fear, Lessons, Life, Maturity, Peace, Strength, Wisdom

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Acceptance, aging, Change, Peace of Mind

I miss the way things were earlier in my lifetime when I was younger and life seemed simpler. I suppose it’s a common phenomenon of growing older that change can leave a lot of our lives unrecognizable or just a wee bit uncomfortable. It’s inevitable, there are cycles in life, natural lifespans, and popularity, which impacts what we’re surrounded by each day we live. Everything and everybody which once surrounds us will ultimately fall victim to time’s passing, especially upon hitting mid-life. And the hardest part of growing old is watching all that is familiar give way to something new, different, or otherwise unfamiliar to us. Change is surely inevitable, but not always preferential! And accepting change is the most challenging but essential aspect of aging! Especially at a time like this when everything seems to change so much more rapidly than in years and generations prior. Perhaps we live in the time of the most significant change societies have ever had to absorb since the beginning of human existence in the world. I cannot say for sure, as I only live in this time.

 

Surely the earliest of human beings had to deal with a lot of perceptible development, just by becoming adults. There were significant and momentous developments visible through the ages, much like those evident during the industrial revolution or with the development of language in each culture over time. But these days, keeping up with things is literally imperative to know the ever-changing colloquial language, as well as all that which influences daily life. Imagine what would become of someone unfamiliar with even the most simple of technological developments these days? If someone didn’t know how to use a portable, instantaneous form of communicating such as a cell phone, they would probably feel very ignorant in this contemporary world! We’re able to instantly communicate, nearly everywhere in the world. We can speak, write, and even render our thoughts across the globe in seconds! Without an awareness of the internet, cell phones, computers, or other forms of technology, people would be clueless about much of the world’s modern functionality!  

And in that reflection, there are people in the world alive today who had the earliest form of telephone service available. They first had landlines which required operators to connect a call or which had multiple party connections, which meant negotiating for phone usage, and took considerable time for connecting from one place only miles away to others. A phone call was a great luxury when the telephone first became a household staple and even having a phone was not guaranteed in every household as a cell phone is expected to be these days. Having a telephone was a privilege one had to be able to afford to actually have. It was not that long ago that many of us living today had hard-wired phones, hanging on our walls or sitting on our tables. We had to manually dial all the numbers on a large rotary dial and we couldn’t move beyond the distance the length of the curled connecting cord between the base and the handset allowed. We didn’t always get through instantaneously because it took more time to actually dial, especially long distance, and there were often either interruptions or perhaps the line would be busy already. I’m surely not an expert on the history of such technology, but I lived through several technological changes over my lifetime which developed into the instantaneous, wireless, global service we have today! If Maxwell Smart were alive and spying today, would he even bother with a shoe phone? 

When I think of all the changes which I’ve witnessed and absorbed in my lifetime, I’m often disturbed by the pace of things! It’s not necessarily all that comfortable to grow old with things always changing, as things don’t often change for the better! As we age, change seems to be more prolific and more impactful such as with more of our family and friends passing away. It’s a matter of time’s natural passing and lifespan. We merely have to learn to become more accepting of living without those with whom we were first closely surrounded. And we must learn to let go of a lot of regular aspects of our daily lives. All things and people have a natural lifespan, including the familiar businesses, places, and landmarks of our communities and our hometowns. Everything comes and goes, with some random time pattern, not always of our choosing! It’s just a part of life. We might really enjoy a restaurant, perhaps we’re even regulars there,  we become our own version of “Norm!” from Cheers (a sitcom from the 1980’s) to some group we routinely encounter there. But then that place suffers from an economic downturn or the owners choose to retire, or some other random incident causes its closure. That happens repeatedly as we age, especially if we stay in the same place over a long period of time. We take notice of changes, of communities shifting and changing in demographics, in population, in prosperity, and economically. Landscapes with which we have great familiarity seem to morph into something unfamiliar and all-too-new. Change without our developing sense of acceptance is just unsettling.   

I often wish I could keep more of the familiar people and places in my life, sans change! It isn’t always comfortable or easy to accept a lot of the change which comes with age and with time’s passing. But acceptance is a strange bedfellow because it enables us to make as much peace as possible with something which inherently at first feels uncomfortable or unpleasant. And getting better at accepting things is making my life easier, even with all the bombardment of change which now seems “normal” at this time period of my life. I can’t go back to a time when life seemed simpler or easier, and I cannot slow life down to make it seem more tolerable. This life is going at a pace which requires my constant endurance and daily acceptance! And I work each new day to keep those muscles flexing for the fevered pace of change we’re experiencing in 2017! Who knows what is coming next in the world, by way of technological developments, or in my own community? It’s all constantly changing and morphing into a new version of today, each new tomorrow!

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What Is Normal?

25 Saturday Mar 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Change, Choices, Contentment, Faith, Hope, Peace, Strength

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Acceptance, Change, Normal

What is normal? It’s the temporary state of being we enjoy until change happens, which it inevitably does! Normal is a current condition, a perception we have as to how things are. But “normal” is just fleeting, it isn’t sustainable, as normal will give way to a new normal very soon! It always does! So it’s best to not be too emotionally cemented to those seemingly normal facets of our lives in which we are most fond or in which we feel most comfortable.   

A good “for instance” of this is playing out right now in my life. I have lived a very long time doing certain things every morning in my preparations for the new day. My morning routine included washing, slathering, applying, and sealing. Now I have had to add a step of utmost importance, due to my new normal. I have had a few large skin cancers removed in the last year, so now I must routinely apply sunscreen and take notice of how exposed my body is, as well as for how long, underneath our vibrant, intense sun. Besides covering my scars, I want to protect the rest of my body from any more sun damage. It’s not hard, but it does require building up a new habit in my morning routines. The reason for the new steps is so important, I’m willing to make the new habit stick! Normal is not normal anymore, as there is a new normal for me. My new normal is to be much more aware of the effects of the sun, finally, after all these years! HA Better late than never I suppose. Now my new normal involves being stalwartly sun-aware and sun-protective. I will probably even become more of an advocate for sun protection for the sake of others too. I don’t want others to experience what I have had to in regards to their skin, so if I can help my loved ones and friends by reminding them about skin protection, I will! Normal only lasts until there is a reason for a new normal.

 

Perhaps we are to blame for giving too much emotional weight to our normal state of being so that when it changes or morphs, we don’t flow as easily into the new normal! I have a dear friend who is experiencing a change with her beautiful professionally trained singing voice after a mild bout of pneumonia a month or so ago. She is now unable to sing easily after having had all the symptoms of pneumonia, including a racking, rib-snapping cough. Her voice is hopefully only temporarily disturbed, but she resolutely and faithfully lives with this new normal right now. What choice does she have? This is the reality of things, and she has no answer other than to pray and have faith for resolution.  Perhaps the healing necessary to restore the quality and tone of her voice will happen in time. But there is a chance that it will not. She must accept either possibility and go on from there. That is the key to change and making things the new normal, even temporarily. We must go with the flow, as the adage suggests!

Our inability to accept unavoidable change is what makes us miserable. We hold onto our “normal” states as though they are promised! Life is ever-changing and that often means a shocking, sudden change is possible! So the sooner we accept change, the less struggle we make for our own lives. Going with the current of change with faith, hope and trust enable us to face normal one day, and the new normal the next. Surely it isn’t easy, it requires great strength to face a life-altering moment with such bravery and such courage! The other option is to make our daily lives miserable from then on by focusing on something we cannot do anything about. We then strip all the joy, peace and contentment from our own lives. Acceptance is the key to change, and change makes anything seem normal in time.   

The best way to view normal is something presently floating along with you on a current, your destination is unknown, the constancy of the current is not guaranteed, but that is the way it is right now, indefinitely. Later on, or on some other day, there might be a completely new normal.  The current state of something familiar to us might have changed. It’s only when we give our present normal reality and state of being some cement shoes or root it too deeply into our souls that we have trouble when the inevitable change occurs! Trust, have faith, and hope in spite of it all!  

One Foot In the World . .

14 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Christianity, Commitment, Discipline, God, Growing, Maturity, Uncategorized

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Acceptance, Faithfulness, Obedience

Ever try to walk on two different surfaces or levels for any length of time? It is hard. So it is when we walk with our lives compartmentalized . . we’re faithful here, we obey there; but we still love our earthly lives so much, we cannot let go of this or that! As believers, that is referred to as having one foot in the world and one foot in the Kingdom. It doesn’t work in the long run, as we lose our footing eventually; we fall so repeatedly from the more difficult trek, to take more frequently the easier, most comfortable path.

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Many will choose to remain this way, straddling the realm of the finite things of this world, to preserve the fun and pleasure for now; all while endeavoring to keep just enough tied to God for their salvation’s sake. It’s truly a shame, as by giving up the growing process which comes from having a life fully vested in the Father’s will, they usually miss the best part of forming a solid, fulfilling relationship with Him! For it is in our loving and willful obedience and surrender to Him, that we learn truly who we are and what we were meant to be, for His sake! If we choose to conform to what is of this world more that we choose to be apart from this world (as His Word directs us), through our stubborn disobedience and a willful determination to remain as we are for the sake of enjoying this world and feeding our own egos, we then cease to convey to Him our trust, faith, hope and especially, our real abiding love for Him.

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We might still find our salvation through the Lord, we might still make our way to eternity; but what if we are just disobedient and willful enough to sever our ties to Him through our conformance to this world? We might just convince Him with our determined effort to abide in this world, unknowingly to us, that we aren’t really committed to serving Him while here or spending eternity with Him when this life is done. Truly that is something to consider when we let our egos direct our steps, rather than giving the Lord full reign and letting Him guide us completely for our entire lives! We cannot compartmentalize our lives when it comes to our relationship with the Lord; we are apart, separate and not of this world, because we are His! Where do you want to belong? As we grow closer to the Lord in our relationship with Him, obedience and non-conformity becomes easier for us; we actually understand and accept, through the Spirit within us, our own separateness from this world! Signature02

Rolling With the Changes . .

02 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Change, Choices, Conquering Fear, Contentment, Courage, Growing, Joy, Lessons

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Acceptance, Change, Maturity

I’m rolling with the changes . . otherwise the brakes of resistance I try to apply wear out from fighting against the natural state of things. Life is ever-changing and though we might believe ourselves easily rocked by all the change we experience, we are only able to truly grow and develop when we’re forced out of our comfort zones. Change is life!  Persistence-and-Determination

We begin as babies incapable of fending for ourselves or appraising our own course; were we not to change, we wouldn’t even understand that we had life! So why does it often become harder to accept all the change of life by the middle or perceived end? I suppose it is our awareness having awakened us to the realities of life’s abruptness and unfiltered truths. Life can seem so hard once we understand loss, brevity, failure, fear, doubt, worry, anxiety, lack, need, and all the emotions which push upon our souls. But at the same time, life is supposed to have prepared us each step of the way for exactly what comes next, known or unknown. We should know by now that we’re not invincible, infallible and that our time is not infinite here on earth; but we should also believe ourselves successful at having made it this far!  Socrates-Quote-on-Change

We’ve learned, grown, developed, overcome, strengthened our minds, bodies and spirits for the journey yet to come! Why then be reticent when changes happen? Without change there can be no actual growth or development in us or around us, in which we might take great pleasure in having mastered another life skill or challenge! Life wouldn’t be much at all were we to remain as we once were. If we keep applying the brakes to our life as it changes around us – hiding or diverting from the changes we fear, dread or imagine – we risk stalling, crashing or disabling our own lives in the process. In the end, life is really the sum of all that we met and overcame in pursuit of some level of contentment, inner peace and joy within our souls! We should welcome the changes as new tests and testimonies for having stood tall and strong in this life!  

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