Category Archives: Lessons

Confronting Fear . .

12 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Fear, Lessons, Self-Control, Strength

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Living with fear can really put a damper on your life. It can stop you in your tracks, keep you from living fully and prevent you from growing into the best version of you that you can be! Fear is truly like a restraint laid upon our souls and spirits, whereby our movement, growth and success can be limited. We might feel fear for a genuine reason, such as a threat perceived; but if we don’t learn how to face that fear or to overcome fears, we end up giving our power to them! 0dc4d41d2712d6dd6f288b19d9dc4c2d

 

Fear is a challenge, in that by feeling fearful, we are forced to confront whatever it is we dread or doubt – before we can accomplish what we must. Fear is also the source of doubt within us as to our own abilities! When fear rears its ugly head, we might let it negate our ability to muster the courage required to do what we must in spite! Fear also depletes our confidence, pieces at a time! If we let fear win whenever we’re forced to confront it but don’t, we eventually diminish our self-confidence and self-respect in turn. There is nothing to do when we feel fear but to confront it!

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Fear is a rallying cry within us to muster up courage. Every time we muster that courage, we knock fear back to manageable sizes within us. Every time we don’t, however, fear then grows exponentially! If we leave fear unabated within us, so that it looms over our lives with increasing power; we will suffer a loss of self-worth. Fears are muscles we flex for numerous reasons; we aren’t certain, we have doubts or perhaps we don’t want to make mistakes. But instead of flexing the muscles of fears, we can feel it but then flex the countering muscle of courage! When we feel fearful yet act courageously to overcome or abate our fear, we can truly propel our maturity and growth as a result! As the saying goes, Feel the fear, but do it anyway!

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The World Flipping . .

01 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by in aging, Attitude, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, Family, God, Lessons, Life, Self-Control, Self-Respect, Wisdom

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The world is officially flipping. As my grandmother said way back in the mid-nineties, aliens have taken over the bodies and minds of many average citizens. I cannot imagine how she would surmise current events and the spectacles which fill the daily news feeds all these years later. People in the asylum now have hold of the keys and are in charge of the daily management of the facility! In all good humor, I present her thesis and my amendment; but with all seriousness, I relent in this appraisal. It saddens me how far we have strayed from the moral and character-driven culture we once were for the most part. America is now a nation flipped and upside down with immorality, deceit and implausible considerations.

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We were never perfect, there was always evil and sin; but now more and more of us believe in less and less. We strive it seems to be more outlandish and to live more on the fringes of what so many deem boring and mundane. Marriage, family, faith and good character are no longer in vogue; those values and beliefs have been replaced with cultural norms which shock many of the middle of America to their core. My grandmother was ahead of her time in seeing the results of years of turning from God, of replacing family orientation with its opposite; and with vulgarity and with lewdness as a means of changing the rut of boring and common-place middle-American values and beliefs. Those traditional core beliefs were deemed oppressive and confining by a new generation of people who rebel against such structure and confines upon their own behavior. Many have given up controlling themselves in favor of instantaneous gratification and immediate pleasure. Self-control is now freely ceded for governmental constraint, too much is not enough when it comes to laws and regulations to form and shape our behaviors because we seem unable and unwilling to self-control and self-regulate; and furthermore, to accept responsibility for our own actions! And therein we find the  source of the dilemma!BetterIsPoor

So few want to be constrained and confined to the standards which living moral and character-driven lives entails. Faith, God and family are now passé! Instead we have foul, unfamiliar and upside-down/backwards as our new reality! The counter-culture now runs our schools, our media, our government and our lives; much to the chagrin of middle-America, which still clings to their family, faith and moral traditions. Fortunately, God is still in charge of the world, regardless who chooses to believe it might be so! It is. I await His correction of this upside-down/backwards and side-stepping, ego-driven society. I’m sure He is growing tired of our childish insistence that we know best, when surely the resulting chaos and instability in our world proves Him right.


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How to Pursue With Purpose . .

20 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by in aging, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Faith, Inspiration, Lessons, Life, Patience, Self-Control, Wisdom

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Some things come easily, we get what we want when we want it! Other things we desire and set as goals in our lives take some time and more effort to pursue. Often in that time, we find the pressing of effort, the impediment of challenges faced and the patience required to be taxing, so we want to give up. But if we want what we say we want, wouldn’t it be worth our hunkering down to find the extra go-for-it-muscles we have within us?

 

If we let go of our dreams because they’re proving hard to achieve, aren’t we also letting go of our chance to discover something great within and about ourselves? Don’t we then run the risk of not having something we value and esteem as worthwhile in our lives?? It’s rare to find great things and great results easily. Usually in life, the value and worth we assign to things is higher and given more to those things which require more effort, time, endurance and even cost in obtaining. But the reason we give them value higher than any other thing is exactly because we have realized for ourselves their measure to attain and to earn exceeds all others!  Were everything easy to have and to get, we would assess nothing as having any value or worth. It would all be rendered as cheap to us.

 

So it is with the pursuit of our goals. Were all our goals so easy to achieve and without any “cost” or effort to us, we would soon find nothing inspiring or excellent in their pursuit. It is only because we find something worthwhile, that we hunker down and pursue it with all of our ability, effort and patience! Next time you’re growing tired, while in pursimages courage 8uit of your goals and dreams, prior to giving up on the pursuit . . ask yourself this question: what did I find so valuable for my life in the first place upon achieving this goal? What was the perceived reward to me? If you still believe achieving a goal to be rewarding and having something to be valuable, then don’t quit on it regardless the effort, cost or time involved! Remember that it is only in those things which don’t come too easily or cheaply that value comes into your life! Worth is measured not by things which are first worthless to you – easy to have and readily available – but rather by those things which make you realize their worth in pursuit, effort and attainment! Don’t quit forever because quitting seems easier in a moment!

 
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Thought Ripples . .

13 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Choices, God, Happiness, Lessons, Positivity, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect, Success

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What are we, if not products of our thoughts and all the ripples outwardly resulting from that thought? In terms of how 1010we fill our minds, we live as a result with what we first created there within. How many of us start and/or end our days with thoughts that would startle others if they heard them? Or thoughts that, were they directed via speech or action towards others, would seem negative, harmful or destructive? So then why do we entertain them within our own minds, so that they have a chance to seed in our hearts and within the spirit we house internally?

 

Perhaps our goal in life should be to live as fruitfully for ourselves sans negative, destructive and self-abasing thoughts; just as we’re taught to keep negative, abasing and destructive comments from others! We might know that our bodies are to be maintained for the sake of how precious they are to God, being the temple of the Holy Spirit. But do we then also know our minds are part of that temple? We realize in our maturity that the only control we have in life is over our thoughts and the ensuing emotional responses, as well as our resulting actions; so we should take from that the first and most important tenant. We have control over our own thoughts! And by controlling our own thoughts to those more uplifting, more self-approving and less self-destructive by content, we elevate our being to a place which is much more positive to begin with!

 

Rubbish-or-crystal-25The world will deliver upon us much in the way of sour news, misfortune and struggle. But if we attempt to render our own minds first the fields in which we plant uplifting, positive and self-affirming thoughtful fruit, we will make for ourselves a way to reap much more positive and affirming life! Many of us grasp the concept of treating our bodies as temples, so we keep fit or endeavor to keep healthy. But how many of us grasp that concept in regards to our own thinking and then, our emotions and our actions as a result? Thoughts are part of the organism we call our bodies. They can be fruitful or they can be destructive, hurtful and negative. I suggest we take as much control over our minds as we try to do with our bodies. Both are within our power to direct in positive and life-affirming ways! Think positively and with the purpose of affirming the wondrous being which you are! It’s easy to let the world take your thoughts to places unbecoming you, but you can take control and direct all of your being towards a much more-positive journey instead.

 

Don’t let life bring you down. Learn to lead life by action first rather than reacting to life as it leads you. Your body and yourSelf Esteem-25 brain are yours to nurture. Why not give them both the best chance for having a healthy, prosperous and fruitful life? God created marvelous bodies and minds. We should attempt to treat both with great respect and loving care. Our thoughts should reflect that sense of self-respect and self-love; as from within comes the layout for all of our life as a result.

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Making Goals Into Reality . .

08 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Inspiration, Lessons, Opportunity, Positivity

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PlusWorkSometimes we’re so set on the end result and the defining goals we wish to achieve, that we forget to celebrate the significant steps we accomplish in pursuit! And when we fail to notice the progress we’re making along the way, we might choose to give up, thinking we’re never going to reach that target – whatever it may be! Learning to appraise our progress, even if it seems insignificant in comparison to the overall goal we’ve set, can help us to stay motivated and purposefully committed to staying the course! You may not run the whole length in your first attempt at the track, but one day you will! You may not finish the book you’re writing the day you begin the first chapter, but one day you will! You might not have lost all the weight you want to yet, but what you’ve lost means there’s less to lose! You may not have reached the position which you believe you deserve yet, but working hard in the position you now hold will probably get you closer! All goals can seem a bit overwhelming when we view them in their entirety. Breaking each of our goals up into stages which can be measured and evaluated while in pursuit, enables you to bite off bits of the whole all while nibbling away at the goal in total! You learn to view being successful in part as motivational and inspiring; rather than seeing your goals as such vast and unfinished failures in the making as a result! 
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The Muscles of Courage

04 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faith, Fear, Integrity, Lessons

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Mindmap-50Our world takes great courage to live! I suspect it always has. These times are not meant for the shrinking violets, who only utilize their courage muscles when the grass is green, the rains fall gently and everything is going their way! These times are meant for those who look into the vast, darkened expanses of the unknown and the uncertain – fearful – yet conditioned by their own courage to face them. We are truly nothing if we succumb to every emotion which we might feel, such as fear; or if we walk away from every challenge and believe ourselves unworthy of every effort. We are tougher than we know, as we haven’t faced all of our challenges yet! Fear, and all the other emotions which prompt us to retreat in life, is just like the monster which hid under our bed as children. We had to learn to make our peace with that monster by facing our fears, or we wouldn’t have had much sleep!

It is no different as we age; we must face our fears or let them rule the vast unseen spaces of our life with monster CatLion-50force! Courage is the most necessary tool we have in our inner arsenals to face life, at all times. Without it, we become enslaved to the uncertainty and unknowns of life at almost every turn; because we are slaves first to our own fearful thoughts and emotions when we encounter those types of situations. With courage, we not only learn how to feel fear, but we develop muscles which allow us to press through those feelings! Courage is the belief that what lies under the bed is not nearly as scary to us, as the sense of lying in our beds safely and comfortably is great for us! Courage is going out into the world, uncertain and seemingly fearful of whatever danger and unknown awaits us; but believing that going out is worth doing so nonetheless!

stand strong-25What lies on the other side of our fears, because we have courage and faith, is the reward for standing strong in the face of our fears. Like any muscle, courage developed within us, gives us the strength, the ability and the assurance to look even our worst fear in the eye and defeat it with faith and confidence! But that comes only when we continually exercise those muscles of courage we have within us! Truly courage, like all of our muscles, must be used or lost!      

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Gratitude Bests Regret . .

01 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Choices, Gratitude, Happiness, Inspiration, Joy, Lessons, Opportunity, Positivity

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WhatYouDoTodayAll too often we don’t know or remember to be grateful for something, some state of our being or some condition of our lives until it’s gone! Only then do we lament its passing, as we took that state or condition for granted just a bit. Perhaps we got so used to it, that we just assumed it would be that way easily or assuredly forever. It surely happens when people leave our lives; their loss leaves us with a gaping hole where they once filled our hearts, our minds and our presence. But it is also that way with circumstances, situations and conditions. We might find that one day we no longer are in the same job, or have the same house, or perhaps that our health suddenly takes a turn; and although these changes are not as hard upon us as the loss of a dear soul whom we love, we still are reminded by our lamenting what has changed. We should have probably felt more grateful for what we had when we had it! That is life.

Trying to live it without regret means we must try harder to live it now with gratitude!  An attitude of gratitude compels us to not only experience all that we can with expectancy, but to appreciate for some reason all that comes our way! Take, for instance, the woman who laments in some manner the body she has when she is younger, as so many young women are prone to do! She may not fully learn to love, accept and appreciate the body she has now, wanting some other physical characteristic which she doesn’t have. She may torment herself, wishing things could be different. She may wish to be thinner, taller, prettier, etc.; but in later years perhaps she will come to realize that those conditions were not so bad after all when she experiences changes in her body as a result of aging, illness or some accident. We all do that to some extent; but we are cheating ourselves out of today’s joy by not loving and appreciating things as they are!

Gratitude is our appreciation for all of our life; our consideration that we are blessed just as we are, the way things AttitudeOf-50are! Gratitude enfolds us and envelopes us in acceptance and surrender, to that which is and also to that which isn’t. It develops by way of purposeful habit into a state of contentment and peace; no matter the circumstances, situations, or conditions. Living in that manner surely enhances each day now; but it also lessens the chances for regretting what is past, as well as easing fears over what is yet to be. Our wholeness in being depends upon focusing upon the present with gratitude regardless the experience, conditions, circumstances and situations. It is only in gratitude that we can realize how much we already have within us and around us!  

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Autonomous and Free . .

30 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Happiness, Lessons

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There’s a propensity these days towards making people less free by correcting and asking others to change for us in lieu of correcting and character 5changing self. We mustn’t lose sight of our own fallibility; we must not hold ourselves less accountable for the state of things by judging others by their actions while judging ourselves on our intent. We should give to others the respect of making their own choices based on their individual autonomy, as we desire for ourselves. We’re too often lashing out at others for the way they’ve chosen to live their lives all while neglecting to notice that we’re imperfect creatures living ours!
Do we honestly believe we know best for others? Or have we forgotten that often we don’t even know what is best for ourselves?? The first thing we should do when things aren’t going our way in life is examine our handiwork, our choices, our role and our place in this life. Only after we’ve exhausted ourselves in self-development, self-critique, self-improvement and self-responsibility for our own choices should we decide it time to examine others. Only then. Unless someone is openly intent upon harming us, we should accept their right to live autonomous as well. That is the surest sign of maturity, self-control and self-confidence . .when you can first turn to self for all manner of appraisal, but also for all manner of personal and responsible correction; without impugning that same right to others.
aa_live_and_let_live-50What gives us the right to say we’ve mastered self enough to start correcting others? It’s not our right to decide what is most right for the lives of others, it is theirs. Even if we deem them as mistaken in their personal choices, we haven’t a right to attempt to silence them, nullify them or convey upon them our will instead. It is only when they are willfully harming others that we have a responsibility to step in . . otherwise, we must convey to them the same individual autonomy as we ask for ourselves.  Individuals will never fully agree to every single thing or agree on every manner of choice because they are inherently “individuals” . . unique, different, with varied morals, preferences, histories and beliefs. If it’s not harming us directly or if it’s overtly illegal or criminal, we should live with an attitude of live and let live; which is usually the level of respect we would ask for ourselves in return. Arrogant bullying and controlling others is just that – it’s not individual freedom!    
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Freedom To Be Me!

29 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Happiness, Lessons, Life

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imagesHY0IP88YOh!! The freedom to be me. At this age, I’m learning to care less about being right, about not failing or making any mistakes, about being accepted by others or seeking their approval. It is a sense of freedom to give yourself permission to be human but to also want to give it to others. It takes effort and purposeful practice, as it doesn’t come naturally. We humans have egos which dictate a whole manner of acceptable and …permissible ranges for not only ourselves but for those with whom we share a space in this world.
It seems to me when we become more critical, self-righteous and over-bearing, that we lose our inherent sense of being human and therefore being humane in turn towards and with others! Insecurity screams about self and against others; confidence stands quietly and assuredly in the awareness and belief that we’re enough, they’re enough and we’re all just humans in God’s greater realm anyway!
At this age, I’m learning to put aside those things which just don’t serve me any longer . . ego especially. I just want to please God and honor Him. I want to love unconditionally that which He created in me and also that which He created in all others around me! Ego (Edging God Out)  stokes all the fires which may seem to keep me warm, but in fact, it ends up destroying entire swaths of my life with either a slow-burn or a raging storm. Let me be gentle, humble, kind, patient, faithful, peaceful, joyful, self-controlled and mostly, let me be love for His honor!
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Confidence From the Creator

02 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, Fullness, God, Humility, Lessons

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CatLion-50When you’re confident and have developed your self-worth from within, based not on anything external such as looks, current position, what others tell you, what society tells you, what clothing you wear or by other material or external measures – you can walk through this world with humility, but also with an insulation that others are lacking. Confidence is the awareness and assurance that you’re just fine as is, you don’t need validation, approval or acceptance of who or what you are by way of anyone or anything external! And it’s the most attractive quality you emit each new day, because it confirms to the world outside of you that you are absolutely fine with and comfortable as you are. And if you love and accept yourself, why wouldn’t they too love and accept you? And if they don’t, so be it! Self-confidence prevails when accepting responsibility for ourselves, and for all we do well or in all which we err; and by realizing others don’t define us. Beware the trap we humans often make of placing the burden for our self-appraisal in the hands of others or at the feet of other means of measure. It doesn’t work that way!
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When you know from where and from Whom you come, how can you think any less of yourself?
Psalm 139:13-14 . .
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 27:3 . .
Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident.
Hebrews 10:35-39 . .
35 Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. 36 For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. 37 For,
“Yet a little while,
and the coming one will come and will not delay;
38 but my righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
my soul has no pleasure in him.”
39 But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.
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