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Category Archives: Commitment

Confronting Fear . .

12 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Fear, Lessons, Self-Control, Strength

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Courage, Fear

Living with fear can really put a damper on your life. It can stop you in your tracks, keep you from living fully and prevent you from growing into the best version of you that you can be! Fear is truly like a restraint laid upon our souls and spirits, whereby our movement, growth and success can be limited. We might feel fear for a genuine reason, such as a threat perceived; but if we don’t learn how to face that fear or to overcome fears, we end up giving our power to them! 0dc4d41d2712d6dd6f288b19d9dc4c2d

 

Fear is a challenge, in that by feeling fearful, we are forced to confront whatever it is we dread or doubt – before we can accomplish what we must. Fear is also the source of doubt within us as to our own abilities! When fear rears its ugly head, we might let it negate our ability to muster the courage required to do what we must in spite! Fear also depletes our confidence, pieces at a time! If we let fear win whenever we’re forced to confront it but don’t, we eventually diminish our self-confidence and self-respect in turn. There is nothing to do when we feel fear but to confront it!

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Fear is a rallying cry within us to muster up courage. Every time we muster that courage, we knock fear back to manageable sizes within us. Every time we don’t, however, fear then grows exponentially! If we leave fear unabated within us, so that it looms over our lives with increasing power; we will suffer a loss of self-worth. Fears are muscles we flex for numerous reasons; we aren’t certain, we have doubts or perhaps we don’t want to make mistakes. But instead of flexing the muscles of fears, we can feel it but then flex the countering muscle of courage! When we feel fearful yet act courageously to overcome or abate our fear, we can truly propel our maturity and growth as a result! As the saying goes, Feel the fear, but do it anyway!

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We Owe It To Ourselves . .

10 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Courage, Discipline, Exploration, Fullness, Life, Self-Respect, Strength

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explorer, growth, Learning

We owe it to ourselves to understand the way things are, what we believe about the world and our place in it. We do no one, most especially ourselves, any good when we accept the opinions of others on face value or live our lives as echoes of others whom we view favorably or by fandom for their supposed celebrity. This is our life, our journey and our passage through it. If we aren’t going to make choices which reflect what it is that reflects our inner core of values and beliefs, then we aren’t going to have a life which feels comfortable and is meaningful to us. 01 Life Quote

 

Someone dear to me never ceases to amaze me in her insistent and persistent endeavors. She moves through life individually, and purposefully as such, attempting, learning and developing herself. She has a full life of experiences as a result! She might not be the master of any one thing, but she will be able to relish her participation in each and every manner in which she participates. Life is meant to be savored, tasted, tried and experienced. We’re meant to learn, to practice, to endeavor, to attempt, to challenge and to develop skills through all the challenges we master. We might not be proficient enough at some of those things to earn our income or to rely upon them for providing our sole support; but we can qualify ourselves as ably and aptly learned in such matters.

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But for those who don’t love or respect themselves enough to take the time to explore their own hearts and minds; to find preferences, skills, talents, abilities and acceptable beliefs, nothing is learned at all! Without first knowing a thirst from wanting to develop and grow because we believe ourselves worthy such endeavors, we won’t push ourselves beyond the familiar or the simple. And often the simple is to take what others say or do rather than to work on developing those preferences for ourselves.

Moving into the “explorer” mindset is as easy as knowing we’re worth such an effort! That person who is dear to me does what she does because she is feeding her soul. She is learning, developing and growing her mind, her talents, her abilities and her experiences because she is compelled by a desire to be a full, learned individual! Don’t accept what others have done or limit yourself to living vicariously through others. Find a way to challenge anew your heart, mind and your spirit to grow, to learn and to develop something new; and to realize who you are and what makes you tick! Imagine the life you can have when you assert your belief in yourself?! Just igniting that fire within you is to empower yourself to have the fullest, most interesting and experienced life possible.

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The World Flipping . .

01 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, Family, God, Lessons, Life, Self-Control, Self-Respect, Wisdom

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The world is officially flipping. As my grandmother said way back in the mid-nineties, aliens have taken over the bodies and minds of many average citizens. I cannot imagine how she would surmise current events and the spectacles which fill the daily news feeds all these years later. People in the asylum now have hold of the keys and are in charge of the daily management of the facility! In all good humor, I present her thesis and my amendment; but with all seriousness, I relent in this appraisal. It saddens me how far we have strayed from the moral and character-driven culture we once were for the most part. America is now a nation flipped and upside down with immorality, deceit and implausible considerations.

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We were never perfect, there was always evil and sin; but now more and more of us believe in less and less. We strive it seems to be more outlandish and to live more on the fringes of what so many deem boring and mundane. Marriage, family, faith and good character are no longer in vogue; those values and beliefs have been replaced with cultural norms which shock many of the middle of America to their core. My grandmother was ahead of her time in seeing the results of years of turning from God, of replacing family orientation with its opposite; and with vulgarity and with lewdness as a means of changing the rut of boring and common-place middle-American values and beliefs. Those traditional core beliefs were deemed oppressive and confining by a new generation of people who rebel against such structure and confines upon their own behavior. Many have given up controlling themselves in favor of instantaneous gratification and immediate pleasure. Self-control is now freely ceded for governmental constraint, too much is not enough when it comes to laws and regulations to form and shape our behaviors because we seem unable and unwilling to self-control and self-regulate; and furthermore, to accept responsibility for our own actions! And therein we find the  source of the dilemma!BetterIsPoor

So few want to be constrained and confined to the standards which living moral and character-driven lives entails. Faith, God and family are now passé! Instead we have foul, unfamiliar and upside-down/backwards as our new reality! The counter-culture now runs our schools, our media, our government and our lives; much to the chagrin of middle-America, which still clings to their family, faith and moral traditions. Fortunately, God is still in charge of the world, regardless who chooses to believe it might be so! It is. I await His correction of this upside-down/backwards and side-stepping, ego-driven society. I’m sure He is growing tired of our childish insistence that we know best, when surely the resulting chaos and instability in our world proves Him right.


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How to Pursue With Purpose . .

20 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Faith, Inspiration, Lessons, Life, Patience, Self-Control, Wisdom

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Some things come easily, we get what we want when we want it! Other things we desire and set as goals in our lives take some time and more effort to pursue. Often in that time, we find the pressing of effort, the impediment of challenges faced and the patience required to be taxing, so we want to give up. But if we want what we say we want, wouldn’t it be worth our hunkering down to find the extra go-for-it-muscles we have within us?

 

If we let go of our dreams because they’re proving hard to achieve, aren’t we also letting go of our chance to discover something great within and about ourselves? Don’t we then run the risk of not having something we value and esteem as worthwhile in our lives?? It’s rare to find great things and great results easily. Usually in life, the value and worth we assign to things is higher and given more to those things which require more effort, time, endurance and even cost in obtaining. But the reason we give them value higher than any other thing is exactly because we have realized for ourselves their measure to attain and to earn exceeds all others!  Were everything easy to have and to get, we would assess nothing as having any value or worth. It would all be rendered as cheap to us.

 

So it is with the pursuit of our goals. Were all our goals so easy to achieve and without any “cost” or effort to us, we would soon find nothing inspiring or excellent in their pursuit. It is only because we find something worthwhile, that we hunker down and pursue it with all of our ability, effort and patience! Next time you’re growing tired, while in pursimages courage 8uit of your goals and dreams, prior to giving up on the pursuit . . ask yourself this question: what did I find so valuable for my life in the first place upon achieving this goal? What was the perceived reward to me? If you still believe achieving a goal to be rewarding and having something to be valuable, then don’t quit on it regardless the effort, cost or time involved! Remember that it is only in those things which don’t come too easily or cheaply that value comes into your life! Worth is measured not by things which are first worthless to you – easy to have and readily available – but rather by those things which make you realize their worth in pursuit, effort and attainment! Don’t quit forever because quitting seems easier in a moment!

 
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Making Goals Into Reality . .

08 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Inspiration, Lessons, Opportunity, Positivity

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goals

PlusWorkSometimes we’re so set on the end result and the defining goals we wish to achieve, that we forget to celebrate the significant steps we accomplish in pursuit! And when we fail to notice the progress we’re making along the way, we might choose to give up, thinking we’re never going to reach that target – whatever it may be! Learning to appraise our progress, even if it seems insignificant in comparison to the overall goal we’ve set, can help us to stay motivated and purposefully committed to staying the course! You may not run the whole length in your first attempt at the track, but one day you will! You may not finish the book you’re writing the day you begin the first chapter, but one day you will! You might not have lost all the weight you want to yet, but what you’ve lost means there’s less to lose! You may not have reached the position which you believe you deserve yet, but working hard in the position you now hold will probably get you closer! All goals can seem a bit overwhelming when we view them in their entirety. Breaking each of our goals up into stages which can be measured and evaluated while in pursuit, enables you to bite off bits of the whole all while nibbling away at the goal in total! You learn to view being successful in part as motivational and inspiring; rather than seeing your goals as such vast and unfinished failures in the making as a result! 
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Autonomous and Free . .

30 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Happiness, Lessons

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Freedom

There’s a propensity these days towards making people less free by correcting and asking others to change for us in lieu of correcting and character 5changing self. We mustn’t lose sight of our own fallibility; we must not hold ourselves less accountable for the state of things by judging others by their actions while judging ourselves on our intent. We should give to others the respect of making their own choices based on their individual autonomy, as we desire for ourselves. We’re too often lashing out at others for the way they’ve chosen to live their lives all while neglecting to notice that we’re imperfect creatures living ours!
Do we honestly believe we know best for others? Or have we forgotten that often we don’t even know what is best for ourselves?? The first thing we should do when things aren’t going our way in life is examine our handiwork, our choices, our role and our place in this life. Only after we’ve exhausted ourselves in self-development, self-critique, self-improvement and self-responsibility for our own choices should we decide it time to examine others. Only then. Unless someone is openly intent upon harming us, we should accept their right to live autonomous as well. That is the surest sign of maturity, self-control and self-confidence . .when you can first turn to self for all manner of appraisal, but also for all manner of personal and responsible correction; without impugning that same right to others.
aa_live_and_let_live-50What gives us the right to say we’ve mastered self enough to start correcting others? It’s not our right to decide what is most right for the lives of others, it is theirs. Even if we deem them as mistaken in their personal choices, we haven’t a right to attempt to silence them, nullify them or convey upon them our will instead. It is only when they are willfully harming others that we have a responsibility to step in . . otherwise, we must convey to them the same individual autonomy as we ask for ourselves.  Individuals will never fully agree to every single thing or agree on every manner of choice because they are inherently “individuals” . . unique, different, with varied morals, preferences, histories and beliefs. If it’s not harming us directly or if it’s overtly illegal or criminal, we should live with an attitude of live and let live; which is usually the level of respect we would ask for ourselves in return. Arrogant bullying and controlling others is just that – it’s not individual freedom!    
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Freedom To Be Me!

29 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Happiness, Lessons, Life

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imagesHY0IP88YOh!! The freedom to be me. At this age, I’m learning to care less about being right, about not failing or making any mistakes, about being accepted by others or seeking their approval. It is a sense of freedom to give yourself permission to be human but to also want to give it to others. It takes effort and purposeful practice, as it doesn’t come naturally. We humans have egos which dictate a whole manner of acceptable and …permissible ranges for not only ourselves but for those with whom we share a space in this world.
It seems to me when we become more critical, self-righteous and over-bearing, that we lose our inherent sense of being human and therefore being humane in turn towards and with others! Insecurity screams about self and against others; confidence stands quietly and assuredly in the awareness and belief that we’re enough, they’re enough and we’re all just humans in God’s greater realm anyway!
At this age, I’m learning to put aside those things which just don’t serve me any longer . . ego especially. I just want to please God and honor Him. I want to love unconditionally that which He created in me and also that which He created in all others around me! Ego (Edging God Out)  stokes all the fires which may seem to keep me warm, but in fact, it ends up destroying entire swaths of my life with either a slow-burn or a raging storm. Let me be gentle, humble, kind, patient, faithful, peaceful, joyful, self-controlled and mostly, let me be love for His honor!
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Walking By Faith . .

13 Sunday Jul 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Commitment, Faith, Wisdom

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I don’t think we can endeavor to be walking by faith too much these days! The world itself is our constant and daily reminder. This world is of sin, this is the fallen world. This world itself cannot offer us of peace of mind, contentment in our soul or rest for our spirit. This world has its true beauty and its genuine sources of joy, even moments of peaceful surrender; but this world cannot offer us aInspirational-Bible-Verses-About-Faithny lasting measure of inner bliss unless we create it there within for ourselves. We have to learn the art of walking by faith towards the unknown, in a state of purposeful peace regardless what happens around us or even to us, for the sake of our own contentment; so that we might dwell in bliss whenever possible.
Our bliss, our happiness and our peace are not to be made contingent upon the world’s condition or the state of things, or the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Our state of bliss cannot be found in the actions of others, what they’ll do or say, or in the way we’re treated. Our state of bliss, like a necessary tether of faith to more than this world, ensures that we don’t allow ourselves – our very souls and spirits – to suffer too much in this world. When we have faith in our purpose for being, when we put faith in our knowledge of who we are as spirits in bodies with souls, living in a fallen world of sin, we then know to put faith in more than our emotions and our feelings regarding all that we are and all that we must endure!
Faith is a lifeline; it’s a tether by which we walk through the perilous and the pleasurable, in the storms and in the midst of the calm, whether we’re in battening-down mode or able to jump freely for joy. Faith is what will keep us at peace, mindful of our contentedness, ever resting in some measure of gratitude-based joy from within! Nothing of this world can be the fomenter of our true peace, contentment and joy; therefore we must be the purposeful and practiced creators of our own peace, contentment and joyFaithShoes all from within! And faith is the key.
Tethering with faith to a Greater source of life’s affirming worth by accepting  our role in it and by assuring our infinite value for our journeys is the key! This world is fallen, but faith reminds us that there is much more than this! Walk in faith, in each and every step.
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Deep-Water Living . .

23 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Courage, Growing, Inspiration, Lessons, Life

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Deep-Water Living

Deep-Water Living

So many people choose to live their lives in the shallow waters, never venturing out deeper where  faith, hope,love, commitment, courage, growth, challenge & everything that pushes a human to live as more are found. Going further & deeper helps us to grow up.  But it’s as if some feel more comfortable without the weight of too much emotion, the increasing burdens often fraught in real human entanglements & the messiness of growing up. They want to have fun, to enjoy life, to focus all their energy on whatever it is that brings them money, fame, power, joy or some other outer-body measure sans the hassle of going deeper & further. So they choose to make a life without any challenge to their spirit or soul. They learn to live so singularly for themselves that they don’t even see those choices, that reticent need to stay comfortably where they are & to not grow up, as narcissistic, selfish & self-involved. If we don’t allow ourselves to claim responsibility for our own messes, to feel for others compassionately, to entangle ourselves in the messes of life & to grow up through the challenges we have opportunity to take on, we never become much of anything in the world but an aging shell of a human being. As the noted poet Maya Angelou has said: “Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.” Human beings are called upon to develop, not just physically, but also to mature emotionally & spiritually. What a shame to be so one-dimensional that we might focus all our energy on just staying happily in the shallow waters, never venturing out to where the real challenges of life might take us nor appreciating that great strength when we do find it in ourselves or when we see it in others! Taking the easy way isn’t necessarily taking the best way. And often times, staying where we’re comfortable means we miss more of what we could never even imagine in the way of true joy, inner peace & burgeoning self-esteem!

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Thankful for My Normal . . .

11 Tuesday Jun 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Family, God, Gratitude, Integrity, Lessons, Life, Love, Strength

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Love, thankful, Thankfulness

RedLoves - 50

When I see the normal to which others ascribe, I want to drop to my knees and am thankful to God for my sense of normal! My life has been far from perfect, idyllic or even one of privilege, but my life has been perfectly idyllic in what blessings I have had! I have been richly blessed for instance with parents who did their best, never turned from or shirked their responsibilities regarding home & family, especially their children. In fact, they worked hard & diligently to provide what we needed whenever we needed it. They were not from wealthy families, in fact, my father was the first member of his immigrant blue-collar family to go to college! He deliberately took the time to consider all of life’s options, choosing quite wisely for his family when moving us as his job demanded . . which we did many times as kids.
He took great care when picking houses he could afford in the best areas he could find, he checked out the school & the districts, even when accepting his new positions he weighed the impact of all its benefits upon us, his family. When laid off, he never quit looking for work even though it would sometimes be a lengthy process of hundreds of interviews & rejections, with him flying around the country to look for what might work. He never considered his failing to provide as even being an option. He just did what he had to do & always held his confident demeanor with us.  My parents both never bought more than they could afford, qualified for every home & lived on a wing & prayer when they had to move us during one of my father’s relocations or promotions, hoping the current one would sell so that they could buy one in the new location.
My mom actually lived without a car, with three kids all of school age, for over six months back east, in snowy weather, as my father had to take the only one we had to drive out west for his new job. She relied upon my grandparents to come down to her house from a state nearby each weekend to take us all out for groceries & to do errands. That was just what had to be done, & we were all a willing part, no one gave up, left or got bitter or resentful about it. We never considered it anyone else’s problem, just a part of our family’s life of sometimes struggling but definitely loving!
Life isn’t always easy & without struggle, sometimes it requires cooperation among family members, it might require getting by with less for a while or compromising on having all the toys because we have kids. We have to learn to do what we need to do for each other, instead of expecting others to do for us or just taking what isn’t rightfully ours. This retrospective look keeps me earnestly aware of how impatient we’ve all become, expecting things right away, not knowing how to wait upon or work as hard for things which we might have. I see the normal of some people & although my normal was not always perfect, I will take it & be thankful for it, as it taught me that love doesn’t quit on hard times, it doesn’t walk away from duty & responsibilities, it doesn’t stop feeding, clothing & housing or expect things when it’s just not the right time.
Love is patient . . love endures . . love is what remains when everything else material & thus inconsequential passes. I might not have always had the dream life, my family might not have lived in a castle, but we surely had enough of anything that mattered . . & still do! This is what family means, love without cost & worth any price!
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