Holding Our Own Irons To The Fires . .

19 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Choices, Commitment, Contentment, Discipline, Dreams, Inspiration, Patience, Self-Control

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My best days of success are those in which I have held my own irons to the fire of accomplishment. Whether or not I complete my tasks and reach my goals, each step I take in accomplishment is a success which brings me closer. The habits we form whereby we realize holding ourselves accountable, responsible and important enough in value to deserve the success we desire, are key!

We make habits in various areas of our lives because those habits support our good health, our well-being and our continued contentment in life. We place ourselves in high enough regard via self-love and self-respect to desire the rewards which those daily habits bring such as healthy teeth, focused mind, spiritual soundness, or good comportment as we go out into the world. Self-love compels us to value ourselves and to respect ourselves enough to take up the necessary tasks which keep us physically, mentally and spiritually healthy to the best of our abilities!

So I have learned to self-motivate, to self-propel my way to certain ends by habitually doing what I should when I should. I know what is good and bad for me; so I endeavor to do what is good more often, so that I might reap the rewards of even the smallest steps and measures of success! I don’t compare my journey with that of others in terms of where they are and where I now am; but I determine what it is I desire to have, to be or to experience in life, and work towards those ends knowing I am worth it!

No one else can move us towards that which we desire or give us the motivation for reaching our own goals. That is an internal switch we much activate. Others can help us by supporting our goals through encouragement or even assistance at times; but ultimately, it is up to us to see ourselves over the various finish lines which denote “Mission accomplished!” or “Goal achieved!”. And the best rewards are those which we sought with our fervent will and accomplished through some period of time by our own desire and actions. Success itself is a great motivator, encouraging us to do more and to strive for even beyond what we now imagine. Let your own success fuel you in life by first dreaming, next believing, and finally doing what you must to achieve those ends.

Living In The Present . .

09 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Conquering Fear, Contentment, Happiness, Lessons, Self-Control, Wisdom

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Escape, Peace, Wisdom

Have you thought at times how wonderful it would be to live someplace else? Rather than here, rather than now, for dwelling someplace other than in the current situation might seem like a rewarding way to live life; it might seem like an escape! After all, don’t we often dwell in two other sought-after places as much as possible as a means of escape or as a way of providing ourselves comfort from the here and now?

We often travel to the past, a destination which cannot be changed; which has a great hold on our emotions and our psyches. There in the past, we think we can find a solution to our present woes; or perhaps we think we can find a way to heal something which was broken or fix something which faltered. If only our reasoning in regards to the past were able at this time, this day and for this particular subject, to lead us like a detective to some light-bulb moment which we could change back then. If only we could alter in our own minds the steps which led back then from A to B, we would now realize our current residency in C would be more acceptable and not such a source or contention or dismay. If only!

And often we desire travel to the future, a place which remains unknown no matter how hard we look or how far we try to see. We have such high hopes of altering our current state of life by learning about what the unknown future holds for us. Like wayward time-travelers, if we could just take our capsule to the farthest reaches of some galaxy ahead of the here and now, we would know for certain that what we’re doing now is laying the appropriate groundwork for what will happen to us then. We could see what to fear, or what to evade or know for certain so many aspects which make up the great body of uncertainty looming ahead. Perhaps we think by knowing what is coming and when, we will in some way be better prepared for living these present days sans error, mistakes and heartbreaks.

Sadly, both destinations truly cannot really make the here and now any better; but we insist upon spending a great deal of time preparing to go, musing our emotions and reasoning away our thoughts about both travel spots! Do they really serve as an escape from the here and now; or are both destinations often detrimental to our enjoyment and our contentment of the here and now? I would guess that more often than not, traveling and spending too much time in either the past or the future leads us to less pleasure, comfort and peace in the here and now! Life is occurring right here and right now. If we gave our energy and turned our thoughts to how we might be content and at peace with the current state of things, we might realize how very blessed, how very fortunate and how very comfortable things are for us. And if we feel today is fine as is there is no need to draw anything but lessons from the past and to live with hope for the future! Comfort, peace and enjoyment now require no escape! All of that comfort, peace and enjoyment now comes through acceptance of the past, known and unchangeable; and faith in the future, sight unseen. Live for today and in today; let yesterday be but a guide and tomorrow, just a hopeful promise.

Discipline Brings Rewards . .

12 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Lessons, Patience, Self-Control, Strength

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commitment, Discipline, Self-Control

When disciplining our own behavior brings us rewards immediately, our will is much easier to muster. But when discipline promises rewards which aren’t yet noticeable, haven’t yet paid-off with any “rewards” or given us much measurable success, we have to dig down deeper into our stores of will and perseverance. It’s then when we learn of what stuff we are made. It is then that we know how committed we are to whatever it is we’re trying to achieve, to accomplish or to be.

Our personal success might depend on others at times, it may rely in part on random occurrences which alter our course; but our successes are always a direct result and dependent upon how much will, determination, discipline and fortitude we choose to exert when things aren’t paying off or coming so easily! Our dig-down-to-it-ed-ness and our desire to be, do, have or make something come to fruition must be more worthwhile and prized than the weight of all the time passing, or how tiresome it becomes in process.

Climbing up a mountain can be a grueling and tiresome venture. But at the top awaits the reward! There is a 360 degree vista at the apex which is like no other on the way up. There is the joy and sense of accomplishment of having made the ascent and done the hard work! Easy living rarely brings such tremendous uplifting victories to our soul by way of joy and contentment, much less by bringing such a boost to our self-worth or confidence. It is usually in the hard, endurance-worthy, time-contributed, sweat-raising, questionable matters by which we earn our greatest payoffs!

There are gains in easy, no-sweat victories for sure. But not like the gains and rewards when discipline is a genuine investment! You can choose, do I sit out the hard stuff just because it requires more energy, time and will; or do I discipline myself for those matters which truly require it because they bring more to me in the end?!

Content With Myself . .

25 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, God, Life, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

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Contentment, Love, Self-Esteem

The older I get, the more I realize that lite isn’t about changing myself to suit others or to please others or to follow anyone else’s lead. Life is about growing, changing, learning, and becoming whomever it is I was meant to be and being accepting of that person through it all! That means I live in step with my values, my beliefs and in an such a way as to uphold daily my character. It doesn’t mean that I look for ease in everything, expect everyone’s approval or think I know it all by now. It means that I’m not content in anything or with anyone else unless I first am content with myself – able to discern my own self-worth and to love myself regardless the presence or absence of others and in spite of all circumstances, including my own flaws and imperfections! And that contentment with myself is paramount to a life spent people pleasing, agreeing with or assuring others instead.

It’s not selfish to do so, it’s self-preserving to live one’s own life for the sake of preserving one’s innermost core of values, beliefs and character; and most importantly, in preserving one’s own sense of self-worth, self-love and self-acceptance. Otherwise we might risk becoming yet another of the lost, seemingly-uncertain and unaware souls who don’t know their own value first and foremost because they’ve placed all measure and determination of that most critical appraisal in the tenuous hands of others or in the worth of things attained.

And don’t we see the obvious effects of those lost souls daily in our news broadcasts, in stories of such tragedies and loss? Those are the stories of people who aren’t able, at a time or in a moment to remember the value of their own lives, much less the lives of others. They’ve placed their own esteem in the hands of others, or lost it for themselves by not living in accord with their beliefs or values; or believed it was equitable to what they’ve accomplished or had achieved. Such sad stories when we know a person’s worth is priceless because it comes from God, were only all souls made known of that fact!

Every person’s value is infinite! All of us face times of great consternation, pain and wearing-down of self; but those who live with awareness of their worth first through Him tend to persist through their life storms with more will and tenacity because they know unequivocally that critical measure! They aren’t so-easily eroded by the influences of other humans or by the passing fancy of circumstance. Contentment starts by rooting in the firmament of God rather than in the shaky ground of mere humanity.

Confronting Fear . .

12 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Fear, Lessons, Self-Control, Strength

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Courage, Fear

Living with fear can really put a damper on your life. It can stop you in your tracks, keep you from living fully and prevent you from growing into the best version of you that you can be! Fear is truly like a restraint laid upon our souls and spirits, whereby our movement, growth and success can be limited. We might feel fear for a genuine reason, such as a threat perceived; but if we don’t learn how to face that fear or to overcome fears, we end up giving our power to them!

Fear is a challenge, in that by feeling fearful, we are forced to confront whatever it is we dread or doubt – before we can accomplish what we must. Fear is also the source of doubt within us as to our own abilities! When fear rears its ugly head, we might let it negate our ability to muster the courage required to do what we must in spite! Fear also depletes our confidence, pieces at a time! If we let fear win whenever we’re forced to confront it but don’t, we eventually diminish our self-confidence and self-respect in turn. There is nothing to do when we feel fear but to confront it!

Fear is a rallying cry within us to muster up courage. Every time we muster that courage, we knock fear back to manageable sizes within us. Every time we don’t, however, fear then grows exponentially! If we leave fear unabated within us, so that it looms over our lives with increasing power; we will suffer a loss of self-worth. Fears are muscles we flex for numerous reasons; we aren’t certain, we have doubts or perhaps we don’t want to make mistakes. But instead of flexing the muscles of fears, we can feel it but then flex the countering muscle of courage! When we feel fearful yet act courageously to overcome or abate our fear, we can truly propel our maturity and growth as a result! As the saying goes, Feel the fear, but do it anyway!

The World Flipping . .

01 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Attitude, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, Family, God, Lessons, Life, Self-Control, Self-Respect, Wisdom

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The world is officially flipping. As my grandmother said way back in the mid-nineties, aliens have taken over the bodies and minds of many average citizens. I cannot imagine how she would surmise current events and the spectacles which fill the daily news feeds all these years later. People in the asylum now have hold of the keys and are in charge of the daily management of the facility! In all good humor, I present her thesis and my amendment; but with all seriousness, I relent in this appraisal. It saddens me how far we have strayed from the moral and character-driven culture we once were for the most part. America is now a nation flipped and upside down with immorality, deceit and implausible considerations.

We were never perfect, there was always evil and sin; but now more and more of us believe in less and less. We strive it seems to be more outlandish and to live more on the fringes of what so many deem boring and mundane. Marriage, family, faith and good character are no longer in vogue; those values and beliefs have been replaced with cultural norms which shock many of the middle of America to their core. My grandmother was ahead of her time in seeing the results of years of turning from God, of replacing family orientation with its opposite; and with vulgarity and with lewdness as a means of changing the rut of boring and common-place middle-American values and beliefs. Those traditional core beliefs were deemed oppressive and confining by a new generation of people who rebel against such structure and confines upon their own behavior. Many have given up controlling themselves in favor of instantaneous gratification and immediate pleasure. Self-control is now freely ceded for governmental constraint, too much is not enough when it comes to laws and regulations to form and shape our behaviors because we seem unable and unwilling to self-control and self-regulate; and furthermore, to accept responsibility for our own actions! And therein we find the source of the dilemma!

So few want to be constrained and confined to the standards which living moral and character-driven lives entails. Faith, God and family are now passé! Instead we have foul, unfamiliar and upside-down/backwards as our new reality! The counter-culture now runs our schools, our media, our government and our lives; much to the chagrin of middle-America, which still clings to their family, faith and moral traditions. Fortunately, God is still in charge of the world, regardless who chooses to believe it might be so! It is. I await His correction of this upside-down/backwards and side-stepping, ego-driven society. I’m sure He is growing tired of our childish insistence that we know best, when surely the resulting chaos and instability in our world proves Him right.

How to Pursue With Purpose . .

20 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in aging, Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Faith, Inspiration, Lessons, Life, Patience, Self-Control, Wisdom

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Some things come easily, we get what we want when we want it! Other things we desire and set as goals in our lives take some time and more effort to pursue. Often in that time, we find the pressing of effort, the impediment of challenges faced and the patience required to be taxing, so we want to give up. But if we want what we say we want, wouldn’t it be worth our hunkering down to find the extra go-for-it-muscles we have within us?

If we let go of our dreams because they’re proving hard to achieve, aren’t we also letting go of our chance to discover something great within and about ourselves? Don’t we then run the risk of not having something we value and esteem as worthwhile in our lives?? It’s rare to find great things and great results easily. Usually in life, the value and worth we assign to things is higher and given more to those things which require more effort, time, endurance and even cost in obtaining. But the reason we give them value higher than any other thing is exactly because we have realized for ourselves their measure to attain and to earn exceeds all others! Were everything easy to have and to get, we would assess nothing as having any value or worth. It would all be rendered as cheap to us.

So it is with the pursuit of our goals. Were all our goals so easy to achieve and without any “cost” or effort to us, we would soon find nothing inspiring or excellent in their pursuit. It is only because we find something worthwhile, that we hunker down and pursue it with all of our ability, effort and patience! Next time you’re growing tired, while in pursuit of your goals and dreams, prior to giving up on the pursuit . . ask yourself this question: what did I find so valuable for my life in the first place upon achieving this goal? What was the perceived reward to me? If you still believe achieving a goal to be rewarding and having something to be valuable, then don’t quit on it regardless the effort, cost or time involved! Remember that it is only in those things which don’t come too easily or cheaply that value comes into your life! Worth is measured not by things which are first worthless to you – easy to have and readily available – but rather by those things which make you realize their worth in pursuit, effort and attainment! Don’t quit forever because quitting seems easier in a moment!

Thought Ripples . .

13 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, God, Happiness, Lessons, Positivity, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect, Success

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What are we, if not products of our thoughts and all the ripples outwardly resulting from that thought? In terms of how we fill our minds, we live as a result with what we first created there within. How many of us start and/or end our days with thoughts that would startle others if they heard them? Or thoughts that, were they directed via speech or action towards others, would seem negative, harmful or destructive? So then why do we entertain them within our own minds, so that they have a chance to seed in our hearts and within the spirit we house internally?

Perhaps our goal in life should be to live as fruitfully for ourselves sans negative, destructive and self-abasing thoughts; just as we’re taught to keep negative, abasing and destructive comments from others! We might know that our bodies are to be maintained for the sake of how precious they are to God, being the temple of the Holy Spirit. But do we then also know our minds are part of that temple? We realize in our maturity that the only control we have in life is over our thoughts and the ensuing emotional responses, as well as our resulting actions; so we should take from that the first and most important tenant. We have control over our own thoughts! And by controlling our own thoughts to those more uplifting, more self-approving and less self-destructive by content, we elevate our being to a place which is much more positive to begin with!

The world will deliver upon us much in the way of sour news, misfortune and struggle. But if we attempt to render our own minds first the fields in which we plant uplifting, positive and self-affirming thoughtful fruit, we will make for ourselves a way to reap much more positive and affirming life! Many of us grasp the concept of treating our bodies as temples, so we keep fit or endeavor to keep healthy. But how many of us grasp that concept in regards to our own thinking and then, our emotions and our actions as a result? Thoughts are part of the organism we call our bodies. They can be fruitful or they can be destructive, hurtful and negative. I suggest we take as much control over our minds as we try to do with our bodies. Both are within our power to direct in positive and life-affirming ways! Think positively and with the purpose of affirming the wondrous being which you are! It’s easy to let the world take your thoughts to places unbecoming you, but you can take control and direct all of your being towards a much more-positive journey instead.

Don’t let life bring you down. Learn to lead life by action first rather than reacting to life as it leads you. Your body and your brain are yours to nurture. Why not give them both the best chance for having a healthy, prosperous and fruitful life? God created marvelous bodies and minds. We should attempt to treat both with great respect and loving care. Our thoughts should reflect that sense of self-respect and self-love; as from within comes the layout for all of our life as a result.

We are so Focused…

27 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Courage, Faithfulness, Integrity, Self-Control, Strength, Success, Wisdom

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We’re so focused on what we’ll become that we often forget to develop fully first what we are. You cannot build a big, busy building upon a weak foundation. It will ultimately crumble from the weight of itself. Without a foundation based in integrity, without doing things the right way, any edifice built might look good from the outside, but the innermost facets will fall into weakness, decay, and then ultimately ruination.

You cannot live exclusively for the sake of your flesh ignoring your inner structure of soul and spirit, for like the building erected without proper foundational support, you will falter, grow weak, and further erode until you collapse. You must build your life’s foundation first, and then work on building the rest from that! What makes a great foundation for each of us personally? Well that varies by choice, be degree & by our history. But the common components of foundational strength are those of character – integrity, ethics, respect, honesty, confidence, kindness & responsibility, to name a few – which are the constant ingredients to a solid foundation upon which to build a successful, strong & busy life!

We are empowered to live and to grow as well through our connection to God, having faith and a desire to honor Him in our endeavors. As Aristotle mused, “We are what we repeatedly do!” If we make it our goal to build up our foundation as we endeavor to build our lives by repetitive practice, we will then be compelled to seek those things which foster our growth, fuel our success and enhance the possibility of achieving our goals. The nature of a life based on such superficial matters as our flesh and what feeds and fosters it, with no purposeful desire to grow, to mature or to develop fully the spirit and soul, is always one which is more limited.

With integrity and other solid character components in place as a part of our foundation, we make all our choices and take all our steps in accordance to the barriers and parameters we’ve established accordingly. Integrity prevents us from going beyond our own preset limits in behavior, thought and in our speech. Integrity compels us to act with discipline. We censor ourselves and self-discipline because maintaining our integrity is tantamount to our venturing beyond those limits.

The focus of our life is often skewed towards that which brings the most instantaneous satisfaction – that being on things which serve our flesh and its needs first. But the life built on a solid foundation, which nurtures the growth, maturity and the development of our body as well as our spirit and soul, will prove to be the key to a longer-lasting and more-rewarding life over all!

Flexing All Your Muscles . .

23 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Faith, Faithfulness, Gentleness, God, Goodness, Growing, Joy, Kindness, Love, Patience, Peace, Self-Control

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character, Choices, Faith, Faithfulness, fruit, God, Goodness, Growing, Joy, Kindness, Love, muscles, Patience, Peace, Self-Control, Spirit, spiritual

Flexing All Your Muscles….

People are capable of amazing & wondrous things in life . . it just takes a heart braced in awareness of what fruits lie within! Inside each one of us are the fruits of our spirit . . nine essential qualities or traits which we already have in ample supply, which merely require our awareness & our determined effort to flex like muscles. We might not use them, they might turn to mush, but they’re there regardless, just like other physical, fleshy muscles in our bodies. They’re just as real to a human as flesh & bone. We prove to ourselves that when we use our flesh-muscles, when we practice with them, strengthening them, purposefully flexing them, we make our bodies healthier & better able to cope with life. So if we do the same with the fruits of our spirit, we in fact make those traits stronger in turn, preparing us for life in this world filled with people, giving us the much-needed support & help to face life head-on! Flex all your muscles, those of flesh & those of fruit, learn to use what you have or lose the potential for what you might be! Developing the fruits of your spirit truly is just a disciplined effort to be a better human being . . one who lives in the world wearing their heart as a banner & exuding the following essential traits: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The fruits of your spirit are nine muscles within you which empower a lifetime of amazing gifts!

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Category Archives: Self-Control

Holding Our Own Irons To The Fires . .

Living In The Present . .

Discipline Brings Rewards . .

Content With Myself . .

Confronting Fear . .

The World Flipping . .

How to Pursue With Purpose . .

Thought Ripples . .

We are so Focused…

Flexing All Your Muscles . .

Flexing All Your Muscles….