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Tag Archives: Empathy

Two Weeks Notice . .

24 Monday Apr 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Empathy, Escape, Family, Gratitude, Lessons, Patience

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Empathy, Endurance, Gratitude, Patience, Sympathy

For most jobs you want to quit, you are advised to give a minimum two weeks notice. It’s considered polite and professional, as it enables both parties to contend with the shifting situation of the working relationship. An employee leaving his or her employment is giving the employer ample time to deal with the change in staffing. And an employer has that time to prepare, to replace, or to alter their staffing needs to accommodate such a change, if necessary. But there is one thing for which two weeks notice already seems too long and much too generous, and that is for a cold! I and other family members have had a cold now for two weeks, as of yesterday. We’re all more-than-ready to give this pesky illness our two weeks notice!  

Now let me interject first that I am usually never sick! I haven’t had a cold or any communicable illness for several years now. I don’t suffer from allergies, and I have a fairly strong immune system. But somehow, I brought this pesky and brutally persistent cold into this house. It could have been accidental contact with a “carrier”, and after the past two weeks, I would be prone to consider anyone who passed this beast on as such, HAHA! It could have been that I brought this on myself by working so hard in my garden in early April, preparing the landscape for the new warmer season ahead. For two weeks, I pruned, raked, swept, removed, and amended the landscape after Winter’s wear and tear. Perhaps something I breathed in during a profuse blooming season such as this one, or just the daily act of breathing in dust and spores firsthand, left me susceptible to spores, germs, or whatnot! However it came to pass, I can assure you this cold has worn out its welcome by now! 

For two solid weeks, I have done nothing much more than cough, sneeze, blow, rest and whine. And my family members have been my echoes in those activities! There isn’t much more we have felt like doing, even missing our Easter Sunday planned activities, and now we have passed the point of being tolerant of this forced schedule any longer. We didn’t want to spread this to others, so we endeavored to do as little as possible with our healthy friends, family, and strangers.  I admit readily that I am a most impatient patient! In fact, my family members and I have often discussed this particular version of the cold, pondering how we could be so done in by it. We’ve wondered if it is the gift that will keep on giving much longer, as we’ve had enough of all the symptoms and the remedies! But we have also pondered how those with chronic illness persist over time, enduring what they must with patience. This last two-week period with this cold has taught me to be immensely grateful for being so healthy usually, and to not take that normal state for granted ever! It has reminded me how wonderful it is to feel good! And of course, it has given me a whole new level of empathy and sympathy for those who must contend with health concerns far scarier, more intense, and more physically devastating than a cold! After all, in the grand scheme of things, a cold is relatively minor and we can envision the foreseeable future without it!  

But officially, I have given this cold my two weeks notice! I want to sever our ties, and break free from its hold upon my body and my life once and for all. I have things to do, places to go … well, you know the story! Two weeks just seems like long enough for a pesky cold with all its attending details. I don’t want to blow my nose, cough, take medicine or rest any longer. Time to move on, and I’ve given it enough time in all fairness. We all have! Since I gave this beast to my family members, as I was clearly the first one sick, I have also endured the guilt and shame of having passed such a monster to them! My mother, who also got sick while fussing over me, has proclaimed this the worst cold she has ever endured! Now surely giving your elderly mother such a beast as this is not something in which a daughter can be proud?! Today’s the day, it’s two weeks later, I’m moving on and so are the members of my family. We’re severing our ties with this particular virus! Adios, au revoir, auf wiedersehen and a big ciao to this two-week lesson in patient endurance! We’re surely saying our goodbyes with our renewed gratitude and our heightened empathy, lessons learned from our pesky “teacher”.   

 

SHINING FOR NO REASON

05 Wednesday Sep 2012

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Uncategorized

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Celebration, Empathy

SHINING FOR NO REASON

If you haven’t realized it lately, you don’t have to have a reason to celebrate being you, you just have to be you, you don’t need to do anything nor be anything but just be you!  Too many times, we convince ourselves that we must accomplish things to applaud ourselves, to acknowledge our worth, or to give ourselves accolades.  We needn’t, we don’t have to have any reason.  Just being is reason enough . . . that’s what is called, shining for no reason!
When was the last time that you just realized how fabulous you were, without having a reason?  When was the last time you looked in the mirror, noticing something beautiful, attractive, well-formed, or special about yourself?  When did you last compliment yourself for something you did well?  When was the most recent time you felt really special in your own skin?  If these aren’t registering on any memory scale, and seem unlikely reminders for any recent behavior, then you need to re-examine your own self-nurturing.  You are not giving yourself enough praise.  Why is it so natural for most of us to give these kind of comments and compliments to others, including our close friends and family, our loved ones, but for ourselves, we are unable to think so highly?  If you aren’t able to see the God-given near-perfection of the person who looks back at you every time you look in a mirror, then you aren’t going to be able to hear the compliments of others, nor to feel the level of self-appreciation necessary to have a complete, happy, fulfilled life.  Loving yourself means that you see your own beauty, appreciate your own unique qualities, and cherish the “house” which contains the spirit and soul of your life.  

Does loving yourself and appreciating your inner and outer qualities mean that you are vain?  Sometimes, yes.  But there is a healthy level of self-love which most of us should have, that we often deny because we think it is selfish to be able to see our own good qualities and traits.  Nurturing ourselves requires that we learn to respect our entire person, body, mind and spirit.  It also means that we can have moments of appreciation, far from selfishness or narcissism, when we see the beauty of our own creation.  We are afterall, one-of-a-kind works of art, designed and formed by God in His own image.  
Too many people suffer from low esteem, poor self-images and lagging self-worth instead of narcissism and inflated senses of self.  In this present-day world, we are beaten down, battered and savaged by the media, the public, degraded by the onslaught of what we presume we should be in our competitive world, we lose our sense of self.  So, in lieu of having a crew of cheerleaders and enthusiastic fans on our beckon call, we must learn to prop ourselves up when life takes us down.  That is why I propose that you always include in your daily routine, a generous helping of self-love. 

What does this entail?  It just means, that each and every day, you should remember to celebrate your own wonderful and unique qualities, cease putting yourself down, give your thanks to God for whatever compliments your receive, as all that you are, you’ve gotten from Him, and never hesitate to be your own best supporter and promoter!  If you don’t love yourself, support your own life and your endeavors, and see yourself as a valuable human being, then you will never be able to give love to others, support others in life with their endeavors, and value other human beings appropriately.  To love yourself, is to know that you are a beautiful child of God!  Repeat after me . . . I love myself, and I am a beautiful child of God!

You Have To Set Boundaries

04 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Uncategorized

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Boundaries, Compassion, Empathy, Faithfulness, Love, Relationships, Respect, Trust

You Have To Set Boundaries

You have to set boundaries for yourself even in love. It is noble & good to give your love to others, but it is not noble to deny your own needs or to live without receiving a thing or things in return. We should not expect from others, but we have to have mutuality in relationships of all types, giving & receiving from all parties is what keeps the relationship healthy & functional. When one gives without regard to receiving, & the other takes without regard to giving, the imbalance cannot sustain the love even for love’s sake. Eventually there’ll be an eroding of some aspect or aspects of the relationship.

It is always right & good to give especially without condition & expectation, but never do so in complete disregard for your own sake, as then you will surely find that you have erred in setting sufficient & necessary boundaries for how you should be treated! Even Jesus said to wipe the dust from your boots & walk away from the town which doesn’t welcome you & receive you with open arms! You aren’t to give yourself away when you are giving your love away! Give, but also learn how to receive, for it is the healthy prescription for a life of love! Anyone who sees you giving without giving something in return isn’t nurturing you at the same level! Love is meant to be generous, unselfish, unconditional & unexpected, but it is not meant to inflict wounds to your own sense of self-worth in that process!

Healthy relationships shouldn’t make those involved into door mats! Love is mutual respect, trust, faithfulness, empathy & compassion. Learn to love in a way which betters all those with whom the love is shared, yourself included!

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