Giving Yourself the Best Gift in Life!

03 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Choices, Commitment, Discipline, God, Integrity, Life, Love, Self-Respect, Strength

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The best gift you can give yourself this new year is just a commitment to be the best you that you can be, regardless the resolutions or the dates on any calendar. For to be endearing to oneself is to live authentically, looking out for what is best and not sacrificing what lies within for anything external. What is best for our lives doesn’t reflect the hopes and dreams of anyone else in any other way but us.

Our life is a grand work of physical, emotional and behavioral artistry, created, designed and shaped ’til perfection by our handiwork. Our life is the collective workings of God’s mastery brought into being through us and every choice we’ve made since. And now that we’re responsible, it’s up to us to master the every day decisions, choices, parameters and emotions which help us to create the inner and outer being of our heart’s desire. When choosing all of that, don’t look at the current trends or try to reshape your life to resemble those of others. They didn’t start with your gifts or your talents or even looking like you! We are all gifted with lives uniquely and independently formed. Why would we seek to make ourselves anything other than us?!

Our greatest aspiration each new day should be to live authentically in the way we are made to be; with our dreams the priorities which motivate our actions and our behaviors. Our inside growth is more important than anything we shape and do on the outside, for transforming from the inside out gives us the power to work with everything we have, everything that happens and every change which may come to influence us from within and on the outside. If we encounter something life-altering in our journey, we then have the strength, integrity and self-love first from within to not let it change us as we are. We must hold fast in personal integrity, which means staying true to who we are regardless what comes to pass, what happens in our lives or even what may alter our physical being! How does someone lose a part of themselves, say an arm or a leg, and not become someone else in the process? It’s because they are first aware of what lies within, loving that person inside and out!

If we know we are masterpieces first created by God’s hand, then all of our choices from then on become about making our own lives the reflection of that thankfulness and honor we believe He deserves for that! Living your best life means standing up for what you believe, doing what you must to maintain your being inside and out, as well as loving oneself enough to know each choice and every step reflects all of that!

Overcoming . . The Driving Force Within

05 Friday Dec 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Choices, Commitment, Conquering Fear, Discipline, Growing, Lessons, Strength

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Determination, growth, Overcoming

Overcoming . . why do we doubt our own abilities to attempt, to persevere and to ultimately overcome? Fear, anxiety, worry, regret, and all the other obstacles we perceive before us shouldn’t stop us from pursuing the life we desire; especially if we learn to give ourselves credit for all the overcoming we’ve already done! It even started long before we became aware that overcoming was what we were doing!!!

We overcame the process of childbirth, since we’re here. We then overcame the years of helplessness, in infancy and toddler-times, when we depended upon so many others to get us through. We survived that! And we then overcame growing up into childhood, one long and often painful step at a time. We went from not even being able at some point to hold up our own heads, to one day plunging forward into learning how to walk. It was a long process of persevering through missteps and teeters which resulted in stumbles or even falls; but we wanted to learn so much more than the weight of our own reasoning, fears or doubts! Then we were sent off to school and had to learn many more ways to overcome by learning and by growth. And every day since, we’ve learned to overcome something just to get where we are today.

Life is all about overcoming, surviving and thriving regardless the challenges which are inherent in the process! Humans seem to be the only living beings which give so much credence to their emotions and feelings, so that we can actually think or feel our way out of challenges essential to our development! We learn through life to process fear, worry, anxiety and doubt with more weight than we knew to give all of that in our childhood. Adulthood often enables people to learn some bad and/or negative ways to not overcome. But overcoming is what we’re supposed to do! All through life, until our death, we’re meant to move forward, to learn, to develop, to change and to grow.

When we let fear, doubt, worry, anxiety, apathy or any other negative we perceive hold us down or back, we are only hurting ourselves! Each of us is given things to challenge the inner muscles of overcoming all through life; were we to keep our distance from all those challenges, all of life, where would we be now?? I guess the baby would have chosen to stay in utero, the child in the bliss of the crib and the youngster in kindergarten. But we weren’t able to render ourselves stagnant then, why should we endeavor to do that now??

Seize the power found within your spirit of overcoming! It is there to propel you through all the challenges and tough times in life! Be your own best friend, don’t talk yourself out of development, growth or forward movement, just because it represents a challenge or tough times ahead. You’re already an overcomer! You just need to believe that is the truth about YOU!

The Crutch of An Excuse . .

02 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Discipline, Ethics, Self-Respect, Strength

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character, Excuses, Victimization

Making excuses for other people can be a slippery slope, as often we’re enabling them or giving them permission to keep on doing as they will with no recourse or reproach. It can render us silent when we should be anything but. But worse than that is to make excuses for ourselves by using others as our foil! When we do that, we hide from consequences, we pass the buck of personal responsibility and we shun the burden to behave, to think and to speak as we know we should!

There are far too many people these days that have learned it’s easier and more convenient to pass the fault and the blame for their own lives being in ruin onto others. Making those excuses becomes a crutch on which they stand progressively more and more each new day! Instead of learning how to heal from life’s battles, to strengthen self or to develop beyond their own mistakes and failings, they rely upon the handy excuse of “blame the other guy” or “it’s his or her fault, not mine!” or the often used, “I give you all responsibility”.

It has become so easy to lob insulting rhetoric, bombastic opinion and to evade personal responsibility by claiming a constant state of victimhood rather than to learn to grow and develop through discipline and effort, past or beyond some situation or life event! Once upon a time, when someone was born in a supposed disadvantaged state, the person would be encouraged to work through the factors of such a perceived disadvantage as poverty, minority class or handicap for their own sake, so that by strengthening their inner stamina and will, they would excel in life beyond the state of their present set of circumstances. Now however, we’ve learned victimhood presumed by a “disadvantaged” state of birth, life choices or unfortunate circumstances as a sport, as a hobby and as a profession! It is easier to render people immobile and functionless based on so many factors which are surmountable and should even encourage the opposite purely by their accepting this new sport of victimization!

Society now has exonerated from personal responsibility and disciplined living entire swaths of people collectively based on a growing desire to evade the onus of responsibility and commitment to change! Human growth has stalled in the forest of overgrown weeds of unloving, uncompassionate and immature souls incapable of personal development much less living amidst communities as responsible citizens. The “me” has replaced the “we” with a deadened thump upon the soul’s impetus to grow, develop and mature through so many perceived negatives and overall hampering; that now, many souls have stagnated in muddy puddles of darkened uselessness, apathy and victimization! God made us to be so much more for His effort. How sad when we choose to make such ready excuses for ourselves by placing the blame consistently and constantly upon the backs of others in whom we can secure our victimhood! We are self–fueled and self-propelled, lest we forget the origin of our Divine Creator’s handiwork in us! No one is accountable for our lives but us.

Prisons of Our Own Making . .

17 Monday Nov 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Fear, Positivity, Strength

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Courage, Overcoming, Strength

There just comes a time when carrying a perceived burden, problem or uncertainty becomes too weighty for me, so that the resolution, solution, or just plowing forward into the uncertainty becomes a necessary relief. And so it is . . we have to release ourselves from the prisons of our own making!

We often choose to remain focused on things which we fear, by way of doubts, which we want to evade and for which we find procrastination an ease; but when the burden upon our minds and hearts becomes too much to bear one more day, we often release our own inner-kraken or monster of forceful energy, determined to change the circumstances! We have to; we’ve spent too much energy, time and focus on those things in the first place. Otherwise we would live in such emotional torment, such consternation, with such a sense of dread about what might be or may be or could happen at any minute.

Upon bottling up our emotions, our energy and our focus for so long on problems, eventually the problem itself provokes us to do something. It’s inevitable when the weight gets so heavy on our souls. Unless we’re hiding the effects of such things, by distracting ourselves to the point of not recognizing burdens, problems, and such; we will eventually erupt like a volcano, pushed to the tipping point for our own sake. So it is almost always better for us dealing with things before we reach the point where those things have pushed us to the point of dealing with them!

When we’re proactive, we often aren’t so dis-empowered, so fatigued or require such hasty thinking as when we’re retroactively reactive. But even if we wait until we cannot wait one more day, we must go forward with confidence; knowing that procrastination, ignoring or just wishing things away doesn’t usually work or resolve anything. There is no better time than the present to believe yourself a capable life-manager, who is able to cope with and to resolve all the situations life delivers to your door! No better time than the present to be proactive rather than just reactive! You may not fix things in a moment, a day or even have all the answers; but evading, avoidance and delaying the inevitable are going to wear upon you in the meantime. See your problems and your concerns as managerial duties of your life; the better you are at managing all of that, the better your life becomes!

Rough Seas . .

14 Friday Nov 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Courage, Faith, Peace, Strength

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Faith, Perseverance, Strength

Life is pushing and pulling a lot of people . . rough seas ahead or already all around!
But rough seas are something in which we’ve all had to surrender, to live, to bide our time and to make our way before. They’re not new, perhaps just the reason for them is new now. It’s a new storm, a new condition, a new time of uncertainty and tenuousness. But we’ve gotten through them before, we must believe in our ability to ride these waves out too!

When life is pushing hard at us, our fears are rising, our troubles seem to be unending and our hopes are at risk of fading, what can we do? I suppose it’s easy to say this, because it’s not always easy to do this – but we can remain in faith, we can rest in God’s assurances and keep our peace regardless. But that’s impossible, you say!! “This is the storm of the century, these waves are too great . . I don’t deserve this . . this cannot be . . I’m already worn out”, and so on . . . etc., etc., etc. That’s not to diminish how heartbreaking, heart-wrenching or how frightening this storm is! It’s not to impugn our fears, worries and doubts in this event versus others or those of others. It’s not about our expectation of what should be, or about comparing what is happening now to what happened prior, or even about what might yet be. It’s not even the case that we can measure our fear, pain or trauma against anyone else’s!

We have to find a way to roll with the big waves as they come, to survive as best as we’re able; and to expect that on another random, new, seemingly sunny day, another of life’s storms will develop. And when that next storm comes, will we be fearless, peaceful, prepared and know exactly what to do?? Probably not. But with the arrival of every one of life’s storms, because of what we’ve already been through, what we’ve already overcome and what we’ve learned about ourselves, we can confidently build our strength, perseverance and survivor muscles for this storm too! Confident that we’ve ridden other storms out and survived those . . our faithfulness in God will bring us assurance that we will see better days ahead with calmer seas, so our peace is much easier to maintain whilst in those storms!

Expect life, like the sea, to change on any given day in any uncertain way. That is the nature of the beast! But give yourself some peace and give God the burden of faithfully guiding you through these rough seas ahead!

Discipline Brings Rewards . .

12 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Lessons, Patience, Self-Control, Strength

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commitment, Discipline, Self-Control

When disciplining our own behavior brings us rewards immediately, our will is much easier to muster. But when discipline promises rewards which aren’t yet noticeable, haven’t yet paid-off with any “rewards” or given us much measurable success, we have to dig down deeper into our stores of will and perseverance. It’s then when we learn of what stuff we are made. It is then that we know how committed we are to whatever it is we’re trying to achieve, to accomplish or to be.

Our personal success might depend on others at times, it may rely in part on random occurrences which alter our course; but our successes are always a direct result and dependent upon how much will, determination, discipline and fortitude we choose to exert when things aren’t paying off or coming so easily! Our dig-down-to-it-ed-ness and our desire to be, do, have or make something come to fruition must be more worthwhile and prized than the weight of all the time passing, or how tiresome it becomes in process.

Climbing up a mountain can be a grueling and tiresome venture. But at the top awaits the reward! There is a 360 degree vista at the apex which is like no other on the way up. There is the joy and sense of accomplishment of having made the ascent and done the hard work! Easy living rarely brings such tremendous uplifting victories to our soul by way of joy and contentment, much less by bringing such a boost to our self-worth or confidence. It is usually in the hard, endurance-worthy, time-contributed, sweat-raising, questionable matters by which we earn our greatest payoffs!

There are gains in easy, no-sweat victories for sure. But not like the gains and rewards when discipline is a genuine investment! You can choose, do I sit out the hard stuff just because it requires more energy, time and will; or do I discipline myself for those matters which truly require it because they bring more to me in the end?!

Facing the Giants We Fear . .

14 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faithfulness, Fear, God, Self-Respect, Strength, Trials

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Fear, God, Self-Respect

Fear is born from our need to process what we cannot, out of our longing to seize control when we aren’t sure we have any and through our inability to imagine how everything we might fear plays out without hurting us, irreparably changing us or negatively impacting our lives. That is fear . . it’s dreading and resenting something, someone or some set of events which represent change, disturbance and discord.

Perhaps we fear a disease. Maybe we fear other people. Often we fear one thing so much, we refuse to do that out of fear – e.g. public speaking, flying, etc.. It might just be we fear all that is changing in our lives as we age, because we doubt our own ability to handle what comes our way. But fear is a liar. It doesn’t always adequately represent the truth of what we’re facing or even the truth of what will be. And fear is a liar in that it doesn’t take into account the power, strength, will and perseverance which might just see us through the times ahead. And fear again lies, because it forgets that we’re not alone. We have God!

I believe it was in the movie “Facing the Giants“, (which is all about facing our daily fears and those incredible “giants” of things and people in life which we fear just because of who or what they represent) that I saw the reference to the number of times God mentions not fearing in His Word, found in the Bible. 365 separate times we’re told to not fear. I don’t expect He thought we wouldn’t feel fear or be fearful; but I believe He wanted to assure us 365 times that no matter the fear, the size of our giants or the battle ahead, we’re not alone – He is with us! Fear and our giants are not fought by us alone, He is with us. So it’s not our size, our fight or our abilities which matter. We must face things with courage, which surely takes effort and practice these days, but we can do so because of His abilities and His “size”! Don’t measure what you fear and your giants against your ability; measure the fear, the giants you face and the ability to best it all based on the all-powerful, promise-keeping and faithful Father! Give your fears their rightful rest in Him!

Confronting Fear . .

12 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Fear, Lessons, Self-Control, Strength

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Courage, Fear

Living with fear can really put a damper on your life. It can stop you in your tracks, keep you from living fully and prevent you from growing into the best version of you that you can be! Fear is truly like a restraint laid upon our souls and spirits, whereby our movement, growth and success can be limited. We might feel fear for a genuine reason, such as a threat perceived; but if we don’t learn how to face that fear or to overcome fears, we end up giving our power to them!

Fear is a challenge, in that by feeling fearful, we are forced to confront whatever it is we dread or doubt – before we can accomplish what we must. Fear is also the source of doubt within us as to our own abilities! When fear rears its ugly head, we might let it negate our ability to muster the courage required to do what we must in spite! Fear also depletes our confidence, pieces at a time! If we let fear win whenever we’re forced to confront it but don’t, we eventually diminish our self-confidence and self-respect in turn. There is nothing to do when we feel fear but to confront it!

Fear is a rallying cry within us to muster up courage. Every time we muster that courage, we knock fear back to manageable sizes within us. Every time we don’t, however, fear then grows exponentially! If we leave fear unabated within us, so that it looms over our lives with increasing power; we will suffer a loss of self-worth. Fears are muscles we flex for numerous reasons; we aren’t certain, we have doubts or perhaps we don’t want to make mistakes. But instead of flexing the muscles of fears, we can feel it but then flex the countering muscle of courage! When we feel fearful yet act courageously to overcome or abate our fear, we can truly propel our maturity and growth as a result! As the saying goes, Feel the fear, but do it anyway!

We Owe It To Ourselves . .

10 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Courage, Discipline, Exploration, Fullness, Life, Self-Respect, Strength

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explorer, growth, Learning

We owe it to ourselves to understand the way things are, what we believe about the world and our place in it. We do no one, most especially ourselves, any good when we accept the opinions of others on face value or live our lives as echoes of others whom we view favorably or by fandom for their supposed celebrity. This is our life, our journey and our passage through it. If we aren’t going to make choices which reflect what it is that reflects our inner core of values and beliefs, then we aren’t going to have a life which feels comfortable and is meaningful to us.

Someone dear to me never ceases to amaze me in her insistent and persistent endeavors. She moves through life individually, and purposefully as such, attempting, learning and developing herself. She has a full life of experiences as a result! She might not be the master of any one thing, but she will be able to relish her participation in each and every manner in which she participates. Life is meant to be savored, tasted, tried and experienced. We’re meant to learn, to practice, to endeavor, to attempt, to challenge and to develop skills through all the challenges we master. We might not be proficient enough at some of those things to earn our income or to rely upon them for providing our sole support; but we can qualify ourselves as ably and aptly learned in such matters.

But for those who don’t love or respect themselves enough to take the time to explore their own hearts and minds; to find preferences, skills, talents, abilities and acceptable beliefs, nothing is learned at all! Without first knowing a thirst from wanting to develop and grow because we believe ourselves worthy such endeavors, we won’t push ourselves beyond the familiar or the simple. And often the simple is to take what others say or do rather than to work on developing those preferences for ourselves.

Moving into the “explorer” mindset is as easy as knowing we’re worth such an effort! That person who is dear to me does what she does because she is feeding her soul. She is learning, developing and growing her mind, her talents, her abilities and her experiences because she is compelled by a desire to be a full, learned individual! Don’t accept what others have done or limit yourself to living vicariously through others. Find a way to challenge anew your heart, mind and your spirit to grow, to learn and to develop something new; and to realize who you are and what makes you tick! Imagine the life you can have when you assert your belief in yourself?! Just igniting that fire within you is to empower yourself to have the fullest, most interesting and experienced life possible.

Riding the Waves of Change . .

22 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Life, Strength, Trials

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Change, it is coming. I’m enjoying this turnabout for August, as normally I might develop a “dog-days of summer” feeling right about now. Instead of that sense of wearing down and fatigue brought on by the sameness of sunshine and heat, I get to have some weather changing it up and bringing clouds to our insistently sunny skies. Change is good, it keeps us from the sense of prolonged sameness and staleness. Sometimes we dread change, but it is only with change that we experience relief from our states of constancy. And those states of routine and regularity are what drain us of our real power to face challenges, to develop new muscles and to grow stronger. Like the waves in the ocean, our power to face life comes upon those continual waves of uncertain life change – in circumstance, in situation, in ability, in temperament and in our challenges. Waves of change are the signals which to us mean we should grow, learn, develop and even confront. Change comes on waves of uncertainty with all its newness and potential for growth. To remain forever stagnant in the calmness of an unchallenging life or in familiar states of certainty is to lock oneself in places of total safety and limited growth for the sake of fear, intimidation or love of ease. We’re not here to be unchallenged or always at our ease . . we’re here to grow more masterful of this life by living it, changes and all! I’m learning to relish changes; as without them, I would always be the same and so would my life.

It may only seem a change in weather, or ahead – a change of season; but change in any regard is the constant set of breaking waves upon which we must face life willingly and ably! Don’t hide from change, fear it or dread it; for even if change represents loss or pain, it will enable something new to come your way or create some impetus for growth within you. And that is the purpose of life . . renewal, variation and a purposeful choice we make to live it at the front where everything is most uncertain – where the waves are breaking! It’s okay to sit some waves out as they surely do become like tsunamis which upturn everything; but it’s not okay to sit out every wave in life which brings with it change and uncertainty just because we feel fearful or intimidated by all it represents, or because we’re just more comfortable in the stagnant waters. Learn to accept that all of life is one wave of change breaking after another – varying in size, attitude and risk. Learn to believe yourself a very-able surfer, who accepts each wave and every ride you are given as opportunities for change without first knowing the outcome!

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Category Archives: Strength

Giving Yourself the Best Gift in Life!

Overcoming . . The Driving Force Within

The Crutch of An Excuse . .

Prisons of Our Own Making . .

Rough Seas . .

Discipline Brings Rewards . .

Facing the Giants We Fear . .

Confronting Fear . .

We Owe It To Ourselves . .

Riding the Waves of Change . .