This Is the Human World . .

16 Thursday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Discipline, Faithfulness, God

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Sometimes what seems so obvious isn’t. And what we think we know, we don’t. And what seems like truth is far from it. This is the world of mistaken perceptions, of unknowns and often, untruths. This is the human world, which lives by and in only limited human understanding. We may think we know how to do all, our egos may tell us we can fix this or change that; but we’re limited by our own abilities as human beings and by our own incomplete awareness. We’re not God, we’re not gods. We are all humans in a world where we and many other humans do our best and many others still do their worst. It’s the way of humanity.

The reason things here on Earth never feel quite totally safe or completely assured or in perfect working order are because they never will be when left in human hands. Someone will make a bad choice with consequential ripples; someone else will falter in their steps or another will purposefully act in discordant fashion, and others still will simply not know what to do at any given time.

Now should we be fearful of this daily reality? Should we live in complete despair at the knowledge of our own flawed humanness? Maybe and perhaps many shall and will. But for those who place all humans equally under the dominion of God, our humanity is expected and even understood. It is right, if not righteous. It is true, if not truthful. It is sure, if not assuring. So there is really no point in living fearfully, without peace or caught in the discord of any moment’s chaos. We’re not in the world of perfection or purity. We’re in the world where conflicts occur, where erroneous acts are perpetrated either purposefully or not. We’re in the world of humans, the fallen world. We’re in the world where really good, unselfish and compassionate acts of love occur as well; but that is because humans have within them the love of God. As for the rest, the negative or destructive, we have within us that potential because we’re humans.

Only God can and does provide humans their path towards righteousness, their example of truthfulness and their worldly assuredness. I would expect, in those who don’t know God, this world is unsteady. To those who do, this world is not their focus, so none of its problems or posturing is either. Keeping eyes on Him and hearts in Him is the anecdote to fear, doubt, worry, trepidation, despair, depression, feeling lost, feeling unloved, the unknown and all that is of this world.

Facing the Giants We Fear . .

14 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faithfulness, Fear, God, Self-Respect, Strength, Trials

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Fear, God, Self-Respect

Fear is born from our need to process what we cannot, out of our longing to seize control when we aren’t sure we have any and through our inability to imagine how everything we might fear plays out without hurting us, irreparably changing us or negatively impacting our lives. That is fear . . it’s dreading and resenting something, someone or some set of events which represent change, disturbance and discord.

Perhaps we fear a disease. Maybe we fear other people. Often we fear one thing so much, we refuse to do that out of fear – e.g. public speaking, flying, etc.. It might just be we fear all that is changing in our lives as we age, because we doubt our own ability to handle what comes our way. But fear is a liar. It doesn’t always adequately represent the truth of what we’re facing or even the truth of what will be. And fear is a liar in that it doesn’t take into account the power, strength, will and perseverance which might just see us through the times ahead. And fear again lies, because it forgets that we’re not alone. We have God!

I believe it was in the movie “Facing the Giants“, (which is all about facing our daily fears and those incredible “giants” of things and people in life which we fear just because of who or what they represent) that I saw the reference to the number of times God mentions not fearing in His Word, found in the Bible. 365 separate times we’re told to not fear. I don’t expect He thought we wouldn’t feel fear or be fearful; but I believe He wanted to assure us 365 times that no matter the fear, the size of our giants or the battle ahead, we’re not alone – He is with us! Fear and our giants are not fought by us alone, He is with us. So it’s not our size, our fight or our abilities which matter. We must face things with courage, which surely takes effort and practice these days, but we can do so because of His abilities and His “size”! Don’t measure what you fear and your giants against your ability; measure the fear, the giants you face and the ability to best it all based on the all-powerful, promise-keeping and faithful Father! Give your fears their rightful rest in Him!

What Others Think . .

13 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, God, Gratitude, Happiness, Humility, Love, Peace, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

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Confidence, God, Self-worth

Often we think it matters more what others think of us, if we’re acceptable or alright in their eyes. But we mustn’t forget that what matters most in this world is how we appraise ourselves and who we are in God’s eyes. Others will have their opinions, fleeting, and based on their own limited knowledge and awareness. Perhaps they never fully know the inner workings of our hearts, minds and spirits. So basing our own self-appraisal on limited thought and consideration provides us with a limited or faulty appraisal. But God knows us through and through. We cannot hide who we are from Him! We cannot hide who we are from ourselves. It is all self-evident in our choices, in our family-lives, in our pursuits, in our hobbies, in our friendships and in our priorities. Spending time on developing the inner soul and sanctum means more in this life than any measure of outer approval rendered by any other means. We simply cannot ever be “enough” measured by anything external to us when such an appraisal is needed for just our ego’s sake.

We should always endeavor to be self-propelled and self-managed, rather than relying upon the conditional approval of others. When we cede our ego’s appraisal to any outside source, we lose pieces and parts, clarity and awareness, from our identity within. I’ve witnessed so many people nearly destroyed by not getting the favorable opinions or praise from others that should have been established from within them – by knowing who they are, by believing in and respecting themselves, by establishing themselves in the known love of God.

Human appraisal is not sustaining and is need-based; but self-acceptance formed through His love and promises is! Self-acceptance, self-respect and self-love fully-formed out of knowing who we are and from where we rightfully come is undeniable, firm and indelible. It’s nice to have others affirm qualities about us or compliment us on various aspects of our lives or person; but what is even nicer is having genuine self-acceptance of all that God has created us to be, with our foothold in self-confidence, self-love and self-respect regardless the opinions of others!

Confronting Fear . .

12 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Fear, Lessons, Self-Control, Strength

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Courage, Fear

Living with fear can really put a damper on your life. It can stop you in your tracks, keep you from living fully and prevent you from growing into the best version of you that you can be! Fear is truly like a restraint laid upon our souls and spirits, whereby our movement, growth and success can be limited. We might feel fear for a genuine reason, such as a threat perceived; but if we don’t learn how to face that fear or to overcome fears, we end up giving our power to them!

Fear is a challenge, in that by feeling fearful, we are forced to confront whatever it is we dread or doubt – before we can accomplish what we must. Fear is also the source of doubt within us as to our own abilities! When fear rears its ugly head, we might let it negate our ability to muster the courage required to do what we must in spite! Fear also depletes our confidence, pieces at a time! If we let fear win whenever we’re forced to confront it but don’t, we eventually diminish our self-confidence and self-respect in turn. There is nothing to do when we feel fear but to confront it!

Fear is a rallying cry within us to muster up courage. Every time we muster that courage, we knock fear back to manageable sizes within us. Every time we don’t, however, fear then grows exponentially! If we leave fear unabated within us, so that it looms over our lives with increasing power; we will suffer a loss of self-worth. Fears are muscles we flex for numerous reasons; we aren’t certain, we have doubts or perhaps we don’t want to make mistakes. But instead of flexing the muscles of fears, we can feel it but then flex the countering muscle of courage! When we feel fearful yet act courageously to overcome or abate our fear, we can truly propel our maturity and growth as a result! As the saying goes, Feel the fear, but do it anyway!

Having FAITH!

17 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Confidence, Faith, God, Inspiration, Life, Patience, Positivity

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Having faith is one thing. But having FAITH is something altogether different. Real faith is standing in absolute belief regardless what is known or unknown at any particular time. In fact, most of what is unknown shouldn’t displace faith, in the way of fear, doubt, worry, anxiety or trying to do what isn’t within our ability to do. We’re faithful when we sit in our unknown, silent, uncertain, unsure, unimaginable, dark, mysterious and unresolved present. We mustn’t rely upon our prior experiences or what has happened in the past as certain evidence of that which remains hoped for and waited upon.

Faith is like a tsunami of belief, which overcomes anything lingering and anything pending; it eliminates references to patterns from the past and ignores omens for the future. Faith isn’t what we call upon when we have a high probability that things will go as we expect, want, know or await. Faith is what we hold onto when everything seems glaringly in opposition to our very notion of belief. Faith is supported by God’s promises to us, which we find assured repeatedly in His Word. When we have knowledge of His Word, we have proof of His desires, His heart and His will for our lives.

Having FAITH is believing in God and His will. And it is in referencing the Word where we learn how to discern our will from His. He plants seeds of dreams within us, often then asking us to faithfully await the outcome of those dreams through His working in us and around us in our lives. Faith is what we require when one of many of our dreams has yet come to fruition, or when life seems difficult. And we’re always growing, changing, developing and imparting on some leg of our life’s journey towards new dreams; often times, we’re turning corners as a means of making corrections for poor choices or enhanced wisdom in our lives.

With faith, we persevere. With faith, we stand strong regardless how hard or long things take; or how little patience we might seem to have at any one moment. Faith pushes us through our impatience, beyond our perceived inability and long past our sense of what is possible! Faith opens the infinite doors of this world to us individually, so that our lives become limitless and unscripted surprises filled with potential and promise! Faith is the key. With just a little faith, we can sort of imagine plenty; but with a lot of faith, we can realize the unimaginable and endless potential as well as all the promise that life holds!

Master faith, regardless how easy it becomes to let the past talk you down the mountains you want to climb. Practice faith, in spite of how hard life becomes while you’re waiting for your dreams to come to fruition! Don’t quit on that which God plants in your life. If He plants the seeds of dreams within you, trust Him to give you the ways and means to make those things come to reality! Have faith, oodles of it! Faith is affirming your belief in God, His will and His ability, not yours!

The Muscles of Courage

04 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faith, Fear, Integrity, Lessons

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Our world takes great courage to live! I suspect it always has. These times are not meant for the shrinking violets, who only utilize their courage muscles when the grass is green, the rains fall gently and everything is going their way! These times are meant for those who look into the vast, darkened expanses of the unknown and the uncertain – fearful – yet conditioned by their own courage to face them. We are truly nothing if we succumb to every emotion which we might feel, such as fear; or if we walk away from every challenge and believe ourselves unworthy of every effort. We are tougher than we know, as we haven’t faced all of our challenges yet! Fear, and all the other emotions which prompt us to retreat in life, is just like the monster which hid under our bed as children. We had to learn to make our peace with that monster by facing our fears, or we wouldn’t have had much sleep!

It is no different as we age; we must face our fears or let them rule the vast unseen spaces of our life with monster force! Courage is the most necessary tool we have in our inner arsenals to face life, at all times. Without it, we become enslaved to the uncertainty and unknowns of life at almost every turn; because we are slaves first to our own fearful thoughts and emotions when we encounter those types of situations. With courage, we not only learn how to feel fear, but we develop muscles which allow us to press through those feelings! Courage is the belief that what lies under the bed is not nearly as scary to us, as the sense of lying in our beds safely and comfortably is great for us! Courage is going out into the world, uncertain and seemingly fearful of whatever danger and unknown awaits us; but believing that going out is worth doing so nonetheless!

What lies on the other side of our fears, because we have courage and faith, is the reward for standing strong in the face of our fears. Like any muscle, courage developed within us, gives us the strength, the ability and the assurance to look even our worst fear in the eye and defeat it with faith and confidence! But that comes only when we continually exercise those muscles of courage we have within us! Truly courage, like all of our muscles, must be used or lost!

Autonomous and Free . .

30 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Happiness, Lessons

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Freedom

There’s a propensity these days towards making people less free by correcting and asking others to change for us in lieu of correcting and changing self. We mustn’t lose sight of our own fallibility; we must not hold ourselves less accountable for the state of things by judging others by their actions while judging ourselves on our intent. We should give to others the respect of making their own choices based on their individual autonomy, as we desire for ourselves. We’re too often lashing out at others for the way they’ve chosen to live their lives all while neglecting to notice that we’re imperfect creatures living ours!

Do we honestly believe we know best for others? Or have we forgotten that often we don’t even know what is best for ourselves?? The first thing we should do when things aren’t going our way in life is examine our handiwork, our choices, our role and our place in this life. Only after we’ve exhausted ourselves in self-development, self-critique, self-improvement and self-responsibility for our own choices should we decide it time to examine others. Only then. Unless someone is openly intent upon harming us, we should accept their right to live autonomous as well. That is the surest sign of maturity, self-control and self-confidence . .when you can first turn to self for all manner of appraisal, but also for all manner of personal and responsible correction; without impugning that same right to others.

What gives us the right to say we’ve mastered self enough to start correcting others? It’s not our right to decide what is most right for the lives of others, it is theirs. Even if we deem them as mistaken in their personal choices, we haven’t a right to attempt to silence them, nullify them or convey upon them our will instead. It is only when they are willfully harming others that we have a responsibility to step in . . otherwise, we must convey to them the same individual autonomy as we ask for ourselves. Individuals will never fully agree to every single thing or agree on every manner of choice because they are inherently “individuals” . . unique, different, with varied morals, preferences, histories and beliefs. If it’s not harming us directly or if it’s overtly illegal or criminal, we should live with an attitude of live and let live; which is usually the level of respect we would ask for ourselves in return. Arrogant bullying and controlling others is just that – it’s not individual freedom!

Freedom To Be Me!

29 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Happiness, Lessons, Life

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Oh!! The freedom to be me. At this age, I’m learning to care less about being right, about not failing or making any mistakes, about being accepted by others or seeking their approval. It is a sense of freedom to give yourself permission to be human but to also want to give it to others. It takes effort and purposeful practice, as it doesn’t come naturally. We humans have egos which dictate a whole manner of acceptable and …permissible ranges for not only ourselves but for those with whom we share a space in this world.

It seems to me when we become more critical, self-righteous and over-bearing, that we lose our inherent sense of being human and therefore being humane in turn towards and with others! Insecurity screams about self and against others; confidence stands quietly and assuredly in the awareness and belief that we’re enough, they’re enough and we’re all just humans in God’s greater realm anyway!

At this age, I’m learning to put aside those things which just don’t serve me any longer . . ego especially. I just want to please God and honor Him. I want to love unconditionally that which He created in me and also that which He created in all others around me! Ego (Edging God Out) stokes all the fires which may seem to keep me warm, but in fact, it ends up destroying entire swaths of my life with either a slow-burn or a raging storm. Let me be gentle, humble, kind, patient, faithful, peaceful, joyful, self-controlled and mostly, let me be love for His honor!

Confidence From the Creator

02 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, Fullness, God, Humility, Lessons

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When you’re confident and have developed your self-worth from within, based not on anything external such as looks, current position, what others tell you, what society tells you, what clothing you wear or by other material or external measures – you can walk through this world with humility, but also with an insulation that others are lacking. Confidence is the awareness and assurance that you’re just fine as is, you don’t need validation, approval or acceptance of who or what you are by way of anyone or anything external! And it’s the most attractive quality you emit each new day, because it confirms to the world outside of you that you are absolutely fine with and comfortable as you are. And if you love and accept yourself, why wouldn’t they too love and accept you? And if they don’t, so be it! Self-confidence prevails when accepting responsibility for ourselves, and for all we do well or in all which we err; and by realizing others don’t define us. Beware the trap we humans often make of placing the burden for our self-appraisal in the hands of others or at the feet of other means of measure. It doesn’t work that way!

When you know from where and from Whom you come, how can you think any less of yourself?
Psalm 139:13-14 . .
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 27:3 . .
Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident.

Hebrews 10:35-39 . .
35 Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. 36 For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. 37 For,
“Yet a little while,
and the coming one will come and will not delay;
38 but my righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
my soul has no pleasure in him.”
39 But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.

Growing Pains . .

28 Tuesday Jan 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Character, Confidence, Faith, Growing, Life, Opportunity, Second chances, Success

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Don’t you feel growing pains when something gets wasted? Like when you buy a container of berries but forget to enjoy them before the mold sets in. Or if you lose that lottery ticket you bought, always wondering what might have been or maybe, and more importantly, you hurt someone – losing their friendship which you valued highly. And all the waste beyond, lives, lost jobs, major losses which hurt beyond measure, we don’t even like to consider those. There is so much waste in the world, the possibility for regret is astronomical. But consider them all as growing pains….

The worst waste of all each & every day is that of our infinite potential as humans . . we linger it away or don’t accept it as ours to begin with by doubting our own uniqueness, our own ability & our own potential. We waste it, unaware of the chance we had to make a difference, to change a heart, to improve our journey or to grow vastly beyond where we now are. They are all growing pains…

We have talents, gifts, desires & hopes, all firmly dwelling within us, but we often become so disengaged from living with developing those as our goals, focusing instead on the past, or some hurtful event, or the pain of living each day . . we grow fatigued in the very process of growing & let the driving force of life become secondary to idling in the traffic of nothingness. Think of them as growing pains…

We often tell ourselves that in growth lies too much potential for pain, so we stop where we are, we give up on pushing ourselves a wee bit harder, we let our fears or our doubts take from us our forward drive! I urge you to focus on every opportunity you get today to call forth your own uniqueness, your own talents, your own passions & your own hopeful dreams! Don’t live in the impossibility of a void, but remember the possibility of all life around you! Don’t let the risk of what might happen on the way to what might be stop you from discovering the glory of all that you’ve yet imagined! Accept that with living comes growth, growing pains & change . . accept that as life, for with it all comes our ability to become the very best of ourselves!

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Category Archives: Confidence

This Is the Human World . .

Facing the Giants We Fear . .

What Others Think . .

Confronting Fear . .

Having FAITH!

The Muscles of Courage

Autonomous and Free . .

Freedom To Be Me!

Confidence From the Creator

Growing Pains . .