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Category Archives: Change

Riding the Waves of Change . .

22 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Life, Strength, Trials

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how-to-adapt-to-change2-25Change, it is coming. I’m enjoying this turnabout for August, as normally I might develop a “dog-days of summer” feeling right about now. Instead of that sense of wearing down and fatigue brought on by the sameness of sunshine and heat, I get to have some weather changing it up and bringing clouds to our insistently sunny skies. Change is good, it keeps us from the sense of prolonged sameness and staleness. Sometimes we dread change, but it is only with change that we experience relief from our states of constancy. And those states of routine and regularity are what drain us of our real power to face challenges, to develop new muscles and to grow stronger. Like the waves in the ocean, our power to face life comes upon those continual waves of uncertain life change – in circumstance, in situation, in ability, in temperament and in our challenges. Waves of change are the signals which to us mean we should grow, learn, develop and even confront. Change comes on waves of uncertainty with all its newness and potential for growth. To remain forever stagnant in the calmness of an unchallenging life or in familiar states of certainty is to lock oneself in places of total safety and limited growth for the sake of fear, intimidation or love of ease. We’re not here to be unchallenged or always at our ease . . we’re here to grow more masterful of this life by living it, changes and all! I’m learning to relish changes; as without them, I would always be the same and so would my life.
It may only seem a change in weather, or ahead – a change of season; but change in any regard is the constant set of breaking waves upon which we must face life willingly and ably! Don’t hide from change, fear it or dread it; for even if change represents loss or pain, it will enable something new to come your way or crewaves-50ate some impetus for growth within you. And that is the purpose of life . . renewal, variation and a purposeful choice we make to live it at the front where everything is most uncertain – where the waves are breaking! It’s okay to sit some waves out as they surely do become like tsunamis which upturn everything; but it’s not okay to sit out every wave in life which brings with it change and uncertainty just because we feel fearful or intimidated by all it represents, or because we’re just more comfortable in the stagnant waters. Learn to accept that all of life is one wave of change breaking after another – varying in size, attitude and risk. Learn to believe yourself a very-able surfer, who accepts each wave and every ride you are given as opportunities for change without first knowing the outcome!  
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Finding Offense . . The New Battle Raging

29 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Change, Character, Choices, Humility, Offense

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Finding Offense! Hinckley_quote_600Don’t you see that when you ask someone to be silent because you don’t like what they have to say, or you want to change how others do business because it’s not how you would run that kind of business, or you want to make others conform to your point of view because you believe you’re so right about something, that you’re really asking them to be like you in some way or totally? Isn’t that virtually impossible in many ways? If I’m not mistaken, aren’t we all individual, unique and different? What we’re seeing more often in this world is a backlash of egos, driven by arrogant disdain, contempt, fear, insecurity or intolerance for what is deemed to be utterly unacceptable, a difference in belief or opinion; a variation in choice and in behavior; unique and varied points of view, speech and thought. And frankly, this backlash against individuality and freedom of expression is not acceptable if we wish to continue existing together freely on this one rotating sphere!

 

If we find that we are often part of the group of the offended, upset at not getting our way – what we’re really admitting  is our own insecurity, fear, intolerance and lack of humility for others with regard to their differing perspectives, values, beliefs, opinions, speech, thoughts, talents, and any other aspect unique to them! Being offended to the point of asking others to change or demanding it, especially when their actions are not harming us directly or intentionally, is an admission by our own fragile egos that we’re more right, we’re more entitled or we’re crushed that we didn’t get our way! It’s an admission that we might be threatened by what another person represents, especially when we unite in packs to shame others into silence or into changing who they are or what they believe. To that very matter, who made us judge over all the world and who decides who is more right? Are we really going to litigate all belief, values, thoughts, actions and behaviors to the point that we nullify all of our collective individual freedoms?

 

We have more than enough laws on the books already concerning human behavior and actions which we collectively unite in deeming intolerable. Do we need more, or perhaps just more self-control? Should we outlaw all forms of expression, music, books, art, hunting, fishing, farming, sports, hobbies of any kind, movies, television, religious and faith-based practices, owning businesses, having children and everything else that fills
pandoras-boxus culturally, defines us morally and enables us to shape us as individuals because we might find someone else’s practice therein objectionable? That’s what could happen over time because we’ve opened this Pandora’s box of intolerance and offense! Where do we draw the line upon this crusade of “rightness” born out of insecurity, fear or the need to be vindicated? 

 

If someone is living their life according to their own beliefs and values, without breaking the laws and causing harm intentionally, then shouldn’t we endeavor to let them live as we ask to be permitted to live? This immense battle of the enraged and offended egos, which is growing, developing and spreading worldwide – when it comes right down to it – is really nothing more than adult bullying! It’s diverse groups of insecure, fearful, intolerant bullies trying to suppress, silence or even oppress others into conforming to them; attempting to alter all of life around them to make it more acceptable and suitable to just themselves because they cannot or will not control their own emotions when things don’t go as they would like them to go!

 

The end result is the willful suppression of all forms of individual expression, as there will always be offended people willing to claim something as such! If we’re going to demand our children stop bullying, we should first stop showing them how readily we adults do it as a response when we don’t get our way! Part of living in the world amongst one another is first learning to accept one another as is. To ask another to change for you is to admit you are flawed, not them.

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Unexpected "Weed" Blessings

07 Wednesday May 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Surprise

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UnexpectedGodEvery time some unexpected “weed” sprouts up anyplace in my yard, I leave it until I can evaluate what it is. I have learned that nature often rewards me in unexpected ways via the birds carrying seed or perhaps thanks to the wind, but no matter how, I might find a delight bursting forth which was unplanned yet welcome.


That is life in general, a sequence of the unplanned which interrupts the planned, which causes us to constantly evaluate our course, our situation, our surroundings and our reactions. We have to accept the unexpected with that which we dutifully plan as that is the essence of life – it is about the unexpected twists and turns which cause us to alter and to shift in much the same ways as water fluidly moves.

Some of the best blessings in life are unplanned! Some of my favorite gifts in the garden have been those unintentional ones too: the Bottle tree, the Chinese Elm, the Dahlberg daisies strewn about, the occasional wildflower, the Creosote bush, the numerous Mexican Evening Primrose, the Palm seedlings, the Saguaro and some other cacti, the Mexican Birds of Paradise, a Desert Willow, a Life-takes-you-to-unexpected-places-and-you-meet-50pine tree and some Justicia plants nearby the parent. The list is endless . . for the nature of all of life is to be fruitful and multiply.

All organic matter in the garden wants to live, to persist and to multiply, so I take watch of those things which sprout freely in my yard, counting them as blessings I get to have for free! A gardener is conditioned to expect the unexpected in the process of gardening, as all of life is uncontrollable and sporadic by nature! Learn to appreciate those things which are unexpected in life and to not resent the surprise in them, for often times they hold just as much benefit as do those things in which we endeavor to make happen through our planning and careful steps. Life is most definitely a journey into the unexpected, so we should be prepared to face it at every turn!

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Positivity – Miss Goody Two Shoes!!!

21 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Character, Faith, Fullness, Gentleness, Happiness, Life, Love, Peace, Romance

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Goody-GoodyPositivity!! Maybe I try too hard, maybe I want to see things through rose-colored lenses too much or too often, perhaps I am too hopeful a romantic – stopping to smell almost every rose and listen to every bird’s song. I am all those things, wanting not to change to fit for negativity’s sake nor for the hope of fitting in with those who snipe, constantly complain or bitterly engage with others.

I’m the product of a lifelong struggle to not be beaten down by life, so why should I let it do that now? Life is a once-around kind of thing, there’s no do-overs once it’s done. There are infinite do-overs during life, but in this one lifetime I don’t want to choose to live in a pessimism of spirit and soul.

How is it that we have so much in us and near us all of our lives, and yet we grow to faithfully believe in so little, especially ourselves or our own dreams? Perhaps someone would argue that being a realist precludes dreaming, that dreaming is the act of a person deluded and out of touch with reality. I guess that could be said, especially by those who’ve given up their dreams or on life itself.

It’s not enough, however, to change my heart or my mind. I’m going to stay focused on trying hard with faith; viewing life with a grateful heart because I see, feel and know blessings for which I haven’t any explanation! I’m not going to stand in anyone else’s footprints of pessimism   because for me, there is simply too much abundance all around me and too many miracles evident to give up on dreaming.

Call me a fool, I don’t care. I’m here every day hoping with faith, believing in earnest, loving without end & endeavoring to make things even more as I see them – positive, hopeful, worthy of all my efforts. If this makes me a goody-two-shoed, rose-colored-glasses-wearing, beacon of faith & hope, then so be it! That’s what I want to be!

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Growing Pains . .

28 Tuesday Jan 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Character, Confidence, Faith, Growing, Life, Opportunity, Second chances, Success

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Forgetting-50Don’t you feel growing pains when something gets wasted? Like when you buy a container of berries but forget to enjoy them before the mold sets in. Or if you lose that lottery ticket you bought, always wondering what might have been or maybe, and  more importantly, you hurt someone – losing their friendship which you valued highly. And all the waste beyond, lives, lost jobs, major losses which hurt beyond measure, we don’t even like to consider those. There is so much waste in the world, the possibility for regret is astronomical. But consider them all as growing pains….
The worst waste of all each & every day is that of our infinite potential as humans . . we linger it away or don’t accept it as ours to begin with by doubting our own uniqueness, our own ability & our own potential. We waste it, unaware of the chance we had to make a difference, to change a heart, to improve our journey or to grow vastly beyond where we now are. They are all growing pains…
We have talents, gifts, desires & hopes, all firmly dwelling within us, but we often become so disengaged from living with developing those as our goals, focusing instead on the past, or some hurtful event, or the pain of living each day . . we grow fatigued in the very process of growing & let the driving force of life become secondary to idling in the traffic of nothingness. Think of them as growing pains…
We often tell ourselves that in growth lies too much potential for pain, so we stop where we are, we give up on pushing ourselves a wee bit harder, we let our fears or our doubts take from us our forward drive! I urge you to focus on every opportunity you get today to call forth your own uniqueness, your own talents, your own passions & your own hopeful dreams! Don’t live in the impossibility of a void, but remember the possibility of all life around you! Don’t let the risk of what might happen on the way to what might be stop you from discovering the glory of all that you’ve yet imagined! Accept that with living comes growth, growing pains & change . . accept that as life, for with it all comes our ability to become the very best of ourselves!
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Do Overs and Second Chances. . .

13 Tuesday Aug 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Choices, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Faith, Lessons, Life, Second chances

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ChangeFlowersThere are always do overs and second chances & new opportunities. Who says you can’t have, be or do anything again or anew in life??  There is no end until we reach the end. We are only stuck if we accept that something is all or the end is truly the end before it really is. I can assure you, just because you thought something was meant to be, doesn’t mean it was. And just because you are certain, sometimes you are then proven wrong. There are always do overs and second chances.
When that happens, you move forward & find a new way . . and often the new way makes you realize the old way was just that, a way which took you only so far for so long. The new route is better & hasn’t as many ruts because you learned from what is now past.
When you have done your best where you are, with no regrets, your life deserves your best efforts now – focused on leading you down the new pathway! As I will attest, what lies down the new pathway, although at first uncertain & so different than expected, will soon become the sure-footed way you were surely meant to go all along! God often just closes those doors when He knows something you don’t. There is a reason & a season for different aspects of our lives, when the doors shut, look for the open one which brings you to new people, new places & new experiences!
That is your future, the rest is best left in the past where it belongs. You can look back & see the lessons which taught you what you needed to learn, but then leave the door closed & go eagerly through the open one . . for that is where your future lies! I have learned that through the open door all the things I left behind were never what they really seemed anyway. Often what we find when we close a door is that we should have closed it a lot sooner!! Go forward in life & be open to what you’ll find . . it isn’t fair to you to give so much energy to things & people & places which aren’t returning the time invested. The sooner you learn to see what doesn’t bring you adequate return for your time & energy given, respecting & honoring your value, the sooner you will want to move ahead, close the doors &  walk through the open doors ahead!
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How To Swim!!!

13 Saturday Jul 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Conquering Fear, Courage, Growing, Success

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Newswimmers50To learn how to swim, we must be willing to risk leaving the sanctity of the shallow waters & the safe havens. We must be willing to go where we’re not sure we can, to work for what we want & to risk everything sometimes to endeavor to achieve that end goal! Swimmers don’t stay in one place, they don’t cling to the railings, they don’t hover on the steps. They let go & move forward into the watery depths, trusting themselves to learn how to overcome any fears, to develop the necessary techniques & to grow in ability. With each practice session, the swimmer grows more accustomed to the depths & expanses in which their stroke will take them. They learn to trust in their own intuitive awareness of ability against conditions faced. Eventually, a swimmer can become so accustomed to being a part of a foreign environment of water & less oxygen, that they seemingly develop gills of proficiency! But that only happens when they first have the courage to let go of the railing, to propel from the wall & to venture out into the depths which challenge them! Life is never fully lived on the steps, clinging to the railing . . it’s comfortable there perhaps, but it won’t let you realize many dreams! Only when we endeavor, when we dare, when we let go of what is safe & when we pursue in earnest . . only then can we truly develop something new within us!

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What's Your Story??

28 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Choices, Confidence

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MWashington01-200
You must see yourself as the writer of the story of your life, or you will always feel reactive & out of control. When things happen to you, it isn’t in just the reaction where you leave your mark, it’s in the responding effort you make to your own reaction whereby you set the tone for all of your life! Surely we all experience sadness, but when some people suffer extraordinary & random sadness, they rise hig…her & build themselves up stronger upon their initial emotional reaction. They don’t allow the moments of sadness to become their trademark for life! The same can be said for any moments of  anger, fear, uncertainty, bitterness or hurt! The one thing which is in your control in this life are your emotional reactions & your responses to everything.
Your story will be the sum of all that you endured in life, but it doesn’t have to be stuck on just one event which you allowed to change you in a negative way! It’s your story! How would you write it & why? And why would you allow one trauma to define you as the lead character in any way but a positive one?! You have so much control which you negate by circumstance & cede to situations. You give away so much of yourself & your own personal freedom to those things over which you have no control in life when you allow your own emotions to steal precious time from you & wreck your life. It is inevitable, we all will experience pain, grief, loss & great trauma. That goes without DeepestFear-200saying. It is part of being human. But we tend to forget the key to overcoming these situations is also within us! We are much stronger than we even know or give ourselves credit for! Don’t allow emotions of one moment to make your life’s story a negative read. Find a way to take the very worst of times & turn them into what makes you more faithful, better, stronger & more compassionate! Manage your life into a life which seems well-managed – one which exemplifies love, contentment & personal growth! That is your primary job!_Sign01

Diamonds in the Making . .

31 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Character, Choices, Commitment, Conquering Fear, Life, Opportunity, Strength, Trials

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Diamonds-50To endure that which feels like hardship, that which knocks us either around or down for a time in life, is to not let the very hope go out of our live & thus leaving our sails down without hope of finding the wind. We possibly become more brow-beaten the older we get as more happens, so that many of us are actually somber, downcast, unrecognizable versions of who we once were. We start to wear our hard knocks like our clothes & thus, we become sad, tumultuous, angry, bitter, dour or imperiled versions of us!
I took note when reading some of the Bible, how meaningful the stories of those whom endured were to me. I realized that many people in life only learned how to shape & form their character, growing to love God, themselves & others more from what happened to them during hardships & trials. Many of course did not learn at all, going instead to places of discord, unrest & their own version of solitary confinement – choosing to make that part of their story in fact the “whole story” of their life. Some just became worse for the wear surely. But many examples were evident throughout the Bible, as well as in our everyday lives of people who thrive in spite of what has happened. They’ve lived to become shining examples of grace under pressure, appearing to be diamonds who were formed in the worst of times! And there always will be “bad times” at times for us all, no one is immune from that aspect of life! So that is my hope in life for myself. I want to take my sufferings, my pains, my hard knocks & all those things could do me in & make it all instead the cloth which polishes my soul & spirit to perfection like a rare & priceless diamond!
Enduring life is not meant to strip us of our desire to live, but rather to form us into wiser, more compassionate & loving people better prepared to live! Learn to be at peace & contentment with life, to not make each battle one which embitters your spirit & to recognize in the moments you will have to swim upstream with great effort, that even in those moments you are being strengthened for the journey ahead! The saying goes: no diamond can truly be appreciated as first appears, it must endure a process which forms it from onset to what it will become in the end! And so must we . . but it is our choice as to how we shall endure what we must! It is always our choice to look beyond the process towards the end result!_Sign01
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Wherever love is, I want to be

30 Sunday Sep 2012

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Change, Love

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Wherever love is, I want to be, I will follow it as surely as the land-locked salmon finds the sea. 

~JEANETTE WINTERSON, The Passion


Love isn’t meant to tear us apart or leave us in pieces, it’s meant to shape us as we are into something even more for the sake of loving. We are shaping & forming lives based on how we love & whom we love, we are changing our own life as well as those of others. We are the artisans of love, not only in the way we make love, but also in the way we make our love something of value to others. In how our love changes their lives – hopefully for only the better! If you aren’t able to love yourself completely, your ability to love others is impaired, for you must first know the love within to understand how to share it externally. You are helping to create the world based on how well you know love, don’t you think that deserves your best? If not for love’s sake, then what? Your ability to share the internal light of your being with others is the most important aspect of your humanity, consider it the worthiest of your endeavors accordingly. Learn to love so that it is evident to others that you are love!
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