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Category Archives: Self-Esteem

Insecurity is Visible…

29 Sunday Oct 2017

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Blessings, Character, Confidence, Contentment, Freedom, God, Maturity, Offense, Peace, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Strength

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Confidence, Insecurity, Narcissism, Self-Esteem, Self-worth, Value

So many people these days are insecure, riddled with self-doubt, and unable to positively identify themselves by decisive means. They are lost, meandering through their lives looking for validation and for acceptance! It’s really sad to watch seemingly successful, established, attractive people flailing about looking for the approval or esteem from outside that should be naturally flourishing from within!

You probably have seen these people around you every day. They may have jobs, careers, families, friends, and present themselves as well-adjusted and successful at reaching their goals in life. But, in fact, they are struggling with insecurity. This insecurity stifles their creativity, befuddles their pursuit of goals, and hinders the real progress they could make in relationships as well as personal development. 

Insecurity is visible! It shows up as narcissism, jealousy, anger, envy, intolerance, excessive criticism, and in those who are always easily offended by others. Insecurity is when we don’t quite believe we’re worthy, or that we’re attractive, talented, capable, our opinions or beliefs are valid, or that we’re loveable. It is any sense of our lacking when we’re estimating the value of others in comparison! Are we as popular, pretty, slender, wealthy, successful, talented, smart, (or whatever measurement we’re using to compare and contrast our life with the lives of those around us)?!

We’re meant to get our value and worth from the knowledge and assurance that we’re beloved children of God! He’s our Creator, so He made us as we are with inherent human value and worth to achieve the purposes He has designed just for us! But many of us don’t believe in God’s dominion over our lives, and so we don’t know that our value is derived from knowing who we are through Him! We instead get our value from other places then, from other people, from the things we’ve collected and boasted of routinely, from the position we hold, from the level of our personal or professional achievements, from how attractive others think we are, from our ability to do certain things, or to hold particular positions. Without having that relationship with God, as Father, we are always going to live our life comparing and contrasting, competing and defeating, dwelling and then repelling all the subjectivity of flawed and irrational human thinking, our own and that of others! We spend a lot of energy and time dealing with insecurity as a result, which takes us from our life pursuits, the purposes God has in mind for us. And when we’re insecure, we spend a lot of time finding fault with others in an effort to raise our own self-perception! 

When we know that we matter, we’re loved, we’re loveable, and that we were created as we were meant to be by the Lord, we don’t need to feel insecure about our appearance, our thoughts, our beliefs, our talents, our bodies, or our level of achievement in any area of living! We can go into anything certain that He goes with us, He has prepared us or will for whatever we face, and that we needn’t doubt our ability or any other facet of our being. He leads us, He goes with us, He is our strength, and He is our guide. Now, it’s true that those who don’t believe won’t grasp this difference! That is obvious. But they also don’t see the nature of issues with insecurity rising in this nation as we push God further from our personal lives! Such rampant insecurity is a clear indication of lives lived without the sense of God’s value known for certainty within them! Even believers struggle at times with thoughts that can erode our confidence and our assurances! When you know you matter as you are though, then someone else’s wealth, acclaim, position, race, sexual identity, possessions, and beliefs won’t seem threatening at all! And our own struggles to achieve the success we think we should attain won’t become such an overwhelming weight upon our souls! Knowing God is our designer sets us free from the embattled sense of entitlement, jealousy, envy, narcissism, greed, self-doubt, self-obsession, constant self-promotion, and any other eroding measure! Struggling is part of life, but to wrangle with insecurity, lacking confidence in ourselves as God’s invaluable creation, is to struggle needlessly even more so!

Overcoming, Not Status Quo and Easy Breezy . .

20 Saturday Aug 2016

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Confidence, Courage, Discipline, Faith, God, Growing, Lessons, Life, Maturity, Opportunity, Positivity, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect, Strength, Success

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Maturity, Overcoming, Perseverance, Strength

We aren’t here to live a life free of problems, but rather to motivate, to inspire and to elevate ourselves and others around us through them. We’re meant to rise to the occasion, to learn, to grow and to mature within to be able to take on more problems as well as to develop our abilities to handle greater challenges ahead. How do we do that if we and those we nurture are encouraged to hide from our problems, or worse, kept purposefully from them?? Problems seem to be now viewed as problematic, the very ways in which we challenge our status quo in life now have taken on such a stigma, we often want to escape instead!download

 

 

Facing our problems is the only way we know how strong and tough we can be as the “overcomers” we are meant to be! Hiding, denying, ignoring, backing away, settling for less, or creating safe spaces only cripples us within. We must accept challenges as part of the continuous growing cycle we are always in, we must experience lessons and tests as the ongoing way in which we mature and develop ourselves in life’s perpetual classroom. If we were to live life sans problems, challenges or tests, we would never learn about our own inner strength, our fortitude or most of our abilities. Status quo and easy-breezy doesn’t really teach us about ourselves, nor does it develop within us the appreciation, acknowledgement or awareness of our metal, our own persevering spirit or our maturity as time passes. Overcoming gives us that. When we overcome and mature through things, we develop more self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. Of course, all of that is God’s gift to us, through His gift of love within us to begin with. We are meant to be overcomers because God made us to so. In this world, we face daily challenges and must learn to rise to those challenges to become more. There are infinite opportunities each new day for us to become something more and someone greater than who we are today!   Positive-quotes-about-problems-solution-quotes

 

Even if we ourselves created some of the taxing problems we are now enduring through accidental or purposeful choices, we must accept the responsibility we now face for extricating ourselves from the constraints those problems represent. Problems always offer us a chance to be overcomers! And that is always a more inspiring and uplifting response rather than denial or flight. God is with us as we endeavour and pursue the ways to move forward, through and beyond our current issues and problems. But we will not learn how to make our way if we choose to always make our way safer, easier, and problem-free. Accepting problems as the necessary learning experiences they represent is always the best way to keep our peace in this world. Doing otherwise makes our journey more miserable and our role as problem-solver less rewarding.  

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Standing Strong and Secure . .

25 Wednesday Mar 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Discipline, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Strength

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Discipline, Integrity, Self-Esteem

The daily challenge is to not lose yourself in the process of living your life. We are facing trying times, hardened hearts and even actions, deliberate and accidental, in which we might be pushed to our supposed limits. People can try our patience, tempt us into their path and/or test our resolve; but we mustn’t lose our center of beliefs, values, character and the heart of love which keeps us grounded through our thoughts, words, actions and reactions. images integrityThe worse thing we can do is to become so full of the world that we are no longer filled with ourselves!

We’re made in our unique form, with our individual beliefs, values and character formed over a lifetime of living in this world. So when we intersect with others, we must always do our best to maintain our integrity. Losing ourselves for the sake of the world makes us first weaken the connection we have with ourselves! Living authentically means that we establish first a foundation on which we build our lives, which we endeavor to preserve for all time for our own preservation. We might amend who we are as we go, we might alter our beliefs; but we always establish for ourselves a parameter and foundation first built on values, self-worth and our character traits, by which we then both view the rest of the world and interact with it. 

 imagesM70D100D Don’t let others in their random ignorance or in their purposeful endeavors, take from you your inherent value by eroding your integrity in that process. Determine what it is that you believe, what it is you value and what your character will be. Stand strong in that foundation of discipline and self-control; and be determined to not let the world erode what you are within! When we do that, our self-worth, love and integrity help to keep us from being damaged by the world.    Signature02

Content With Myself . .

25 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Ethics, God, Life, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

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Contentment, Love, Self-Esteem

The older I get, the more I realize that lite isn’t about changing myself to suit others or to please others or to follow anyone else’s lead. Life is about growing, changing, learning, and becoming whomever it is I was meant to be and being accepting of that person through it all! That means I live in step with my values, my beliefs and in an such a way as to uphold daily my character. It doesn’t mean that I look for ease in everything, expect everyone’s approval or think I know it all by now. It means that I’m not content in anything or with anyone else unless I first am content with myself – able to discern my own self-worth and to love myself regardless the presence or absence of others and in spite of all circumstances, including my own flaws and imperfections! And that contentment with myself is paramount to a life spent people pleasing, agreeing with or assuring others instead.

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It’s not selfish to do so, it’s self-preserving to live one’s own life for the sake of preserving one’s innermost core of values, beliefs and character; and most importantly, in preserving one’s own sense of self-worth, self-love and self-acceptance. Otherwise we might risk becoming yet another of the lost, seemingly-uncertain and unaware souls who don’t know their own value first and foremost because they’ve placed all measure and determination of that most critical appraisal in the tenuous hands of others or in the worth of things attained.

 

And don’t we see the obvious effects of those lost souls daily in our news broadcasts, in stories of such tragedies and loss? Those are the stories of people who aren’t able, at a time or in a moment to remember the value of their own lives, much less the lives of others. They’ve placed their own esteem in the hands of others, or lost it for themselves by not living in accord with their beliefs or values; or believed it was equitable to what they’ve accomplished or had achieved. Such sad stories when we know a person’s worth is priceless because it comes from God, were only all souls made known of that fact!   2608-character

 

Every person’s value is infinite! All of us face times of great consternation, pain and wearing-down of self; but those who live with awareness of their worth first through Him tend to persist through their life storms with more will and tenacity because they know unequivocally that critical  measure! They aren’t so-easily eroded by the influences of other humans or by the passing fancy of circumstance. Contentment starts by rooting in the firmament of God rather than in the shaky ground of mere humanity. 

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Facing the Storms, Fearlessly . .

22 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Discipline, Integrity, Life, Self-Esteem

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character, Courage, Fear

 

 

It’s often fear, worry or doubt which makes us run from challenges, storms and the random turmoil of life; but then it’s failure, regret and insufficient results with which we are left in their wake! A part of us always loses when we walk (or run!) away from a challenge, cower in the face of our storms or let the circumstances of life keep us from living our life to the fullest measure. Pieces of our own integrity are lost, chunks of our self-confidence are eroded, and our own belief in our abilities is etched away.

 

Each challenge, storm, or difficult circumstance which we encounter in this life serves as an opportunity to provide to us so much in the way of personal growth and development. But not if we let fear, worry or self-doubt keeps us from facing it head on or ultimately conquering it. Every time we let those emotions win, we fail to realize the rewards of improved confidence, awareness and self-esteem for having bested them! A big life lesson is learned every time we push through . . accepting our challenges and relishing the lessons inherent in them!

images perseverance2

 

Many people choose to claim their challenges, their miseries and their life’s turmoil as badges of honor; but the real badge of honor is in beating it down and in besting it all! It’s in the overcoming where we become so much more than we imagined! So many people keep track of their losses, their failures, their miseries and the discord of life so that they can use the tally as an excuse to stay safely where they are; rather than realizing those same events and challenges provide opportunity for growth, change and understanding!

The fight to overcome what comes at us in life with courage and willful tenacity rewards us with confident, purposeful and deliberate growth, enhanced stability and assurances from within! School is in session each new day . . make it your goal to pass the tests of life as they appear with courage and tenacity; and to continue in developing your own potential as you progress through the years!

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What Others Think . .

13 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, God, Gratitude, Happiness, Humility, Love, Peace, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect

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Confidence, God, Self-worth

Often we think it matters more what others think of us, if we’re acceptable or alright in their eyes. But we mustn’t forget that what matters most in this world is how we appraise ourselves and who we are in God’s eyes. Others will have their opinions, fleeting, and based on their own limited knowledge and awareness. Perhaps they never fully know the inner workings of our hearts, minds and spirits. So basing our own self-appraisal on limited thought and consideration provides us with a limited or faulty appraisal. But God knows us through and through. We cannot hide who we are from Him! We cannot hide who we are from ourselves. It is all self-evident in our choices, in our family-lives, in our pursuits, in our hobbies, in our friendships and in our priorities. Spending time on developing the inner soul and sanctum means more in this life than any measure of outer approval rendered by any other means. We simply cannot ever be “enough” measured by anything external to us when such an appraisal is needed for just our ego’s sake. 15352_20130502_091007_Pali

 

We should always endeavor to be self-propelled and self-managed, rather than relying upon the conditional approval of others. When we cede our ego’s appraisal to any outside source, we lose pieces and parts, clarity and awareness, from our identity within. I’ve witnessed so many people nearly destroyed by not getting the favorable opinions or praise from others that should have been established from within them – by knowing who they are, by believing in and respecting themselves, by establishing themselves in the known love of God. 64181_290813230990390_109759299095785_738958_1742442314_n

 

Human appraisal is not sustaining and is need-based; but self-acceptance formed through His love and promises is! Self-acceptance, self-respect and self-love fully-formed out of knowing who we are and from where we rightfully come is undeniable, firm and indelible. It’s nice to have others affirm qualities about us or compliment us on various aspects of our lives or person; but what is even nicer is having genuine self-acceptance of all that God has created us to be, with our foothold in self-confidence, self-love and self-respect regardless the opinions of others!

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Thought Ripples . .

13 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, God, Happiness, Lessons, Positivity, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect, Success

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What are we, if not products of our thoughts and all the ripples outwardly resulting from that thought? In terms of how 1010we fill our minds, we live as a result with what we first created there within. How many of us start and/or end our days with thoughts that would startle others if they heard them? Or thoughts that, were they directed via speech or action towards others, would seem negative, harmful or destructive? So then why do we entertain them within our own minds, so that they have a chance to seed in our hearts and within the spirit we house internally?

 

Perhaps our goal in life should be to live as fruitfully for ourselves sans negative, destructive and self-abasing thoughts; just as we’re taught to keep negative, abasing and destructive comments from others! We might know that our bodies are to be maintained for the sake of how precious they are to God, being the temple of the Holy Spirit. But do we then also know our minds are part of that temple? We realize in our maturity that the only control we have in life is over our thoughts and the ensuing emotional responses, as well as our resulting actions; so we should take from that the first and most important tenant. We have control over our own thoughts! And by controlling our own thoughts to those more uplifting, more self-approving and less self-destructive by content, we elevate our being to a place which is much more positive to begin with!

 

Rubbish-or-crystal-25The world will deliver upon us much in the way of sour news, misfortune and struggle. But if we attempt to render our own minds first the fields in which we plant uplifting, positive and self-affirming thoughtful fruit, we will make for ourselves a way to reap much more positive and affirming life! Many of us grasp the concept of treating our bodies as temples, so we keep fit or endeavor to keep healthy. But how many of us grasp that concept in regards to our own thinking and then, our emotions and our actions as a result? Thoughts are part of the organism we call our bodies. They can be fruitful or they can be destructive, hurtful and negative. I suggest we take as much control over our minds as we try to do with our bodies. Both are within our power to direct in positive and life-affirming ways! Think positively and with the purpose of affirming the wondrous being which you are! It’s easy to let the world take your thoughts to places unbecoming you, but you can take control and direct all of your being towards a much more-positive journey instead.

 

Don’t let life bring you down. Learn to lead life by action first rather than reacting to life as it leads you. Your body and yourSelf Esteem-25 brain are yours to nurture. Why not give them both the best chance for having a healthy, prosperous and fruitful life? God created marvelous bodies and minds. We should attempt to treat both with great respect and loving care. Our thoughts should reflect that sense of self-respect and self-love; as from within comes the layout for all of our life as a result.

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