Category Archives: Choices

Do Overs and Second Chances. . .

13 Tuesday Aug 2013

Posted by in Change, Choices, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Faith, Lessons, Life, Second chances

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ChangeFlowersThere are always do overs and second chances & new opportunities. Who says you can’t have, be or do anything again or anew in life??  There is no end until we reach the end. We are only stuck if we accept that something is all or the end is truly the end before it really is. I can assure you, just because you thought something was meant to be, doesn’t mean it was. And just because you are certain, sometimes you are then proven wrong. There are always do overs and second chances.
When that happens, you move forward & find a new way . . and often the new way makes you realize the old way was just that, a way which took you only so far for so long. The new route is better & hasn’t as many ruts because you learned from what is now past.
When you have done your best where you are, with no regrets, your life deserves your best efforts now – focused on leading you down the new pathway! As I will attest, what lies down the new pathway, although at first uncertain & so different than expected, will soon become the sure-footed way you were surely meant to go all along! God often just closes those doors when He knows something you don’t. There is a reason & a season for different aspects of our lives, when the doors shut, look for the open one which brings you to new people, new places & new experiences!
That is your future, the rest is best left in the past where it belongs. You can look back & see the lessons which taught you what you needed to learn, but then leave the door closed & go eagerly through the open one . . for that is where your future lies! I have learned that through the open door all the things I left behind were never what they really seemed anyway. Often what we find when we close a door is that we should have closed it a lot sooner!! Go forward in life & be open to what you’ll find . . it isn’t fair to you to give so much energy to things & people & places which aren’t returning the time invested. The sooner you learn to see what doesn’t bring you adequate return for your time & energy given, respecting & honoring your value, the sooner you will want to move ahead, close the doors &  walk through the open doors ahead!
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Steps of Life

18 Tuesday Jun 2013

Posted by in Character, Choices, Courage, Fullness, Giving, Integrity, Opportunity, Passion

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heavy-burden-25If someone is faltering in their steps, don’t watch them at a distance crumbling with the weight of their burdens. We are our brother’s & sister’s keepers. We are meant to find supernatural strength & fortitude not only for ourselves but especially for those we love & those whom are in our care. What is the world if we forget that first & foremost we are humans connected in & by our humanity? What will it mean to the world if we forget to nurture, love & value through our compassionate care those whom are nearest & within arms reach?? Do we want to become so self-involved as people that we allow our singularity in being to resonate as loneliness or isolation instead? Do we want to forget what is common & similar within all of us because we are so dead set on having what we ourselves want first & foremost?

 

I see so many selfish & soulless pursuits in life anymore, so many people trampled on during the daily parade of rats seeking the cheese. There was always more than enough cheese for us all, no need to become one of the rats by forgetting others are in the maze with you. People are slowly eroding & vacating any hope for their own prosperity as a species .  We are forgetting our humanity & what matters. We are so much more accepting & complacent about things which denigrate us all & which do nothing to encourage the betterment of mankind in general. It is like we’ve grown numb to all the outrage, we just don’t care as much anymore. If all of humanity loses too much of its intrinsic & God-given humanity, it evolves into a life form lower than any creature of which I am aware. Humanity only prospers one heart, one hand, one smile, one gesture of kindness & one unfettering, unfaltering willful step at a time!

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The Ascending Ladder of Life . .

11 Tuesday Jun 2013

Posted by in Character, Choices, Conquering Fear, Courage, Inspiration, Strength

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All of life is like rungs on an ascending ladder meant to carry you to the level where you are now, with some rungs representing life events & choices below & some infinite number yet above you. That is how it works, the events & choices we make carry meaning, either positive & negative, causing our reactions & actions. We either let ourselves be defined by something positive which occurred  and resulted in  ascending the rungs to the next level, or we let our circumstances & the inherent negativity within them, take us into a descent.
Some people have allowed life to beat them down after so much perceived negativity or uncertainty that they believe themselves to have risen no higher than where they first started. Or worse, they choose to stay off the ladder! Their attitude has no altitude, so they as well no longer take any risks by climbing up any higher. Others have been knocked down a few times, or often even, but always consider their goals & dreams for this life to be worth taking that risk of falling or failure! They may have even been shaken off their ladder from a great height, falling flat & hitting rock bottom, but they still desire the heights at the top, so they continue to climb!
Each of us has to determine our own will, our own fearlessness & our own endurance for climbing. But life IS an uphill climb, it is always ascending, that is a given & that is our challenge to take! How we contend with it all, our attitudes & our ability to control our own emotions determines the pace of our ascent & our final altitude upon life’s completion. We might prefer the ground level, we may enjoy some place in between, but we should remember our abilities are limitless, we are meant to challenge ourselves to reach great & unexpected heights by reaching the clouds! Often times though, what we deem acceptable is merely our fear, our worry, or our tired-out will doing our thinking for us!
ladder-of-life50Ladders take us higher than the places upon which we can stand while on the ground, they serve a purpose in lifting us up, in helping us to see new vistas & perceiving  new points of view. You are only assured of that when you face your fear.  Step up willingly onto each new rung, risking the falls but continuing to climb! You were meant to see each new rung not as something dire, but as a step towards your destiny! Enjoy the climb, for as Jack discovered when he ascended the beanstalk – although there are challenges & fears which must be met upon the way, the only place  to find the magic beans is up!!
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Thankful for My Normal . . .

11 Tuesday Jun 2013

Posted by in Character, Choices, Commitment, Family, God, Gratitude, Integrity, Lessons, Life, Love, Strength

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When I see the normal to which others ascribe, I want to drop to my knees and am thankful to God for my sense of normal! My life has been far from perfect, idyllic or even one of privilege, but my life has been perfectly idyllic in what blessings I have had! I have been richly blessed for instance with parents who did their best, never turned from or shirked their responsibilities regarding home & family, especially their children. In fact, they worked hard & diligently to provide what we needed whenever we needed it. They were not from wealthy families, in fact, my father was the first member of his immigrant blue-collar family to go to college! He deliberately took the time to consider all of life’s options, choosing quite wisely for his family when moving us as his job demanded . . which we did many times as kids.
He took great care when picking houses he could afford in the best areas he could find, he checked out the school & the districts, even when accepting his new positions he weighed the impact of all its benefits upon us, his family. When laid off, he never quit looking for work even though it would sometimes be a lengthy process of hundreds of interviews & rejections, with him flying around the country to look for what might work. He never considered his failing to provide as even being an option. He just did what he had to do & always held his confident demeanor with us.  My parents both never bought more than they could afford, qualified for every home & lived on a wing & prayer when they had to move us during one of my father’s relocations or promotions, hoping the current one would sell so that they could buy one in the new location.
My mom actually lived without a car, with three kids all of school age, for over six months back east, in snowy weather, as my father had to take the only one we had to drive out west for his new job. She relied upon my grandparents to come down to her house from a state nearby each weekend to take us all out for groceries & to do errands. That was just what had to be done, & we were all a willing part, no one gave up, left or got bitter or resentful about it. We never considered it anyone else’s problem, just a part of our family’s life of sometimes struggling but definitely loving!
Life isn’t always easy & without struggle, sometimes it requires cooperation among family members, it might require getting by with less for a while or compromising on having all the toys because we have kids. We have to learn to do what we need to do for each other, instead of expecting others to do for us or just taking what isn’t rightfully ours. This retrospective look keeps me earnestly aware of how impatient we’ve all become, expecting things right away, not knowing how to wait upon or work as hard for things which we might have. I see the normal of some people & although my normal was not always perfect, I will take it & be thankful for it, as it taught me that love doesn’t quit on hard times, it doesn’t walk away from duty & responsibilities, it doesn’t stop feeding, clothing & housing or expect things when it’s just not the right time.
Love is patient . . love endures . . love is what remains when everything else material & thus inconsequential passes. I might not have always had the dream life, my family might not have lived in a castle, but we surely had enough of anything that mattered . . & still do! This is what family means, love without cost & worth any price!
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Life is in the Lessons . .

23 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by in Choices, Life, Strength, Trials

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life_lessons_and_lattes-50Life is in the lessons . . we’re not always happy to open our texts & study for them, & sometimes we just get those obnoxious pop quizzes, but we must learn to exuberantly pass them if we wish to stop having to relearn the lessons & stay where we are!
Lessons are the vehicle of our transport beyond this stage of life, without them we would remain forever behind a “grade” & thus, we’d be always looking around us at the new faces of those who’ll pass the grade successfully or we’ll see the same faces of those, who like us, are stuck! I don’t know about you, but I didn’t ever like the idea of being held back when I was actually in school . . and I surely don’t like that concept now in the “Hardknocks School of Life!” I diploma_school_of_hard_knocks-Cheryl-50consider myself an able & ardent learner, a good student even, so if it requires my learning a lesson I’m not all that fond of in life. To be considered a good student, just as when I had to learn & pass geometry, I will make it through no matter! Some life lessons stink, but we have to have faith that the lesson will lead us to a better place & a better us!
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Leading Others With Your Light . .

01 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by in Choices, Commitment, Faith, Inspiration, Lessons, Life

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ThisLittleLight-50Leading others with your light is of the utmost importance. It’s not as important that the messages of faith be heard as it is to see the great joy in the heart of the messengers, those of us who believe! Our profound love, our faithful twinkle, all our souls & spirits alive with the light of God! We believers can do ourselves great disservice when we insist in adhering to the letter of the “law” as we know it rather than being lighthouses of guidance through our own example! It’s not nearly as important to be “right” as it is righteous. If we flounder, that is not such a big deal for we know our Lord forgives us, so we need to forgive ourselves, forgive others & let acceptance again replace our disdain. If we stumble in our walk, we need to just keep asking for guidance in our journey, as we know not what He that created us SeeGodInYou-25does, we are inherently walking in darkness & uncertainty. We need to let Him lead us like the sun leads the world, then we need to be bastions of that light for others who are lost or uncertain. That means walking in profound faith, with expectation & joyful contentment in His promises! Actions speak louder than words! We are the His examples while we walk this earth, for He has truly risen!
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Sowing Seeds With Faith . .

06 Wednesday Mar 2013

Posted by in Character, Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Faith, Strength

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Sow seeds of faithAs every gardener knows, myself included, the seeds you sow or plant today, is your hope & faith for tomorrow & beyond. It takes great faith being a parent, to enter into relationships, to sow seeds with faith that they will become something one day. Examine all the amazing ways you show your faith each day just by living your life! Maybe we humans are much more hope-full than we even realize & give ourselves credit. Living with faith, maintaining our hopeful resolve no matter what life brings, is truly what keeps us filled  with the endurance to love ourselves & one another, to keep sowing our seeds anew each day for what lies ahead!

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What's Your Story??

28 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by in Change, Choices, Confidence

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You must see yourself as the writer of the story of your life, or you will always feel reactive & out of control. When things happen to you, it isn’t in just the reaction where you leave your mark, it’s in the responding effort you make to your own reaction whereby you set the tone for all of your life! Surely we all experience sadness, but when some people suffer extraordinary & random sadness, they rise hig…her & build themselves up stronger upon their initial emotional reaction. They don’t allow the moments of sadness to become their trademark for life! The same can be said for any moments of  anger, fear, uncertainty, bitterness or hurt! The one thing which is in your control in this life are your emotional reactions & your responses to everything.
Your story will be the sum of all that you endured in life, but it doesn’t have to be stuck on just one event which you allowed to change you in a negative way! It’s your story! How would you write it & why? And why would you allow one trauma to define you as the lead character in any way but a positive one?! You have so much control which you negate by circumstance & cede to situations. You give away so much of yourself & your own personal freedom to those things over which you have no control in life when you allow your own emotions to steal precious time from you & wreck your life. It is inevitable, we all will experience pain, grief, loss & great trauma. That goes without DeepestFear-200saying. It is part of being human. But we tend to forget the key to overcoming these situations is also within us! We are much stronger than we even know or give ourselves credit for! Don’t allow emotions of one moment to make your life’s story a negative read. Find a way to take the very worst of times & turn them into what makes you more faithful, better, stronger & more compassionate! Manage your life into a life which seems well-managed – one which exemplifies love, contentment & personal growth! That is your primary job!_Sign01

The Storm Mindset . . .

26 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by in Character, Choices, Conquering Fear, Joy, Strength

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 The mindset of the storm. girlinstormSometimes what happens in the world seems overwhelming, the losses we endure, the infliction of such immense hardship, the problems piling on people like weights pulling them under water. Humans can feel so fragile & so broken at times, that they wonder if breaking further & being broken is a constant state. When hope wanes & eventually dies within us, we have nothing in which to bolster our reason for being.
Hope is what sustains us even through the unimaginable. We must hold on to our hope, having faith that at some point ahead of us, even around a bend, there is a new day waiting which does promise smiles & an abundance of light. Too many of us are so lost in the dark storms of tumultuous times, grief or uncertainty for which we can’t imagine a passing, that we relegate ourselves to the mindset of the storm always. Then we don’t even notice that the “everyday” has returned, our lives would be better, our skies are brighter .  We are still, however,  in the storm mindset, our feelings keeping us there almost like a prisoner. When you have a sense that your hope is waning or grasping its last breath, please find the spark within you that calls it back! Life will often bring many storms to weather, but they do eventually pass. Don’t make one storm from now or before your constant sky! Please remember that like all things, bad days, problems, turmoils & upsets do pass! Brighter days are always just ahead, perhaps around an unseen bend, but they’re coming! Hope within you must be stoked & coaxed like a fire, you might have to add kindling & allow it to surge again. You shouldn’t have to relight it though, as hope does always live within you if you just keep the embers from dying in your heart!
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This is dedicated to those who struggle with those emotions they just cannot seem to elude . . for all of you who make judgments based on a moment of feeling something now which will pass if you just ride it out! Life is a precious gift, hope is what allows our faith to endure all while we wait, endure, persist & to prosper! Let your hope take you with faith into this new day, resting assured that you will find something in which to be thankful in this gift of life! You’re the one who determines which emotions you ride to shore, after all!

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Hoist the Sails, Life Awaits!

25 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by in Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Strength, Trials

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action shot-200Many times in life, we push ourselves too hard, & then we pay some price in physical or emotional pain. But for some things we don’t push ourselves hard enough, in my opinion. We settle into our ruts, believing ourselves incapable, unworthy, ill-equipped or just not “hungry” enough to care! But then who is it have we harmed through our assessment?! We hurt the one we need the most to accomplish things in life, ourself! When we cast doubt, over-analyze  fear, worry, linger in malaise or expect that we are not able, we’re taking the wind out of our own sails! How do we know how far we can go unless & until we try?
If you talk yourself into mediocrity, having or being less, or just plain out of things in general, then that is what you shall have! You have to assume the captain’s role in your own life & decide that you’ll hoist the sails by heading out towards the wind or making your own by turning into the wind! You cannot remain in dock, or even stationary at sea for long, without needing some source of propulsion into the new, the different, the unknown!
You, as the captain, must venture out beyond the safe realm of what you already know, the steady & the certain, CaptJackespecially if that is not where you want to be or what you want! Only you can choose to take your vessel to uncharted places to find your life’s treasure! Those who have what you want, have only done one thing differently than you, they’ve dared to go find it! Now is your turn to dare . . take off the safety reins & let loose your fears, for out there somewhere is what you are either seeking or never even knew you could find! The best adventures in life are those which begin in anticipation, reveal their secrets of fantastic discovery as you go & fill you with the greatness of your accomplishments in the end!
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