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Category Archives: Attitude

The Muscles of Courage

04 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, Conquering Fear, Courage, Faith, Fear, Integrity, Lessons

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Mindmap-50Our world takes great courage to live! I suspect it always has. These times are not meant for the shrinking violets, who only utilize their courage muscles when the grass is green, the rains fall gently and everything is going their way! These times are meant for those who look into the vast, darkened expanses of the unknown and the uncertain – fearful – yet conditioned by their own courage to face them. We are truly nothing if we succumb to every emotion which we might feel, such as fear; or if we walk away from every challenge and believe ourselves unworthy of every effort. We are tougher than we know, as we haven’t faced all of our challenges yet! Fear, and all the other emotions which prompt us to retreat in life, is just like the monster which hid under our bed as children. We had to learn to make our peace with that monster by facing our fears, or we wouldn’t have had much sleep!

It is no different as we age; we must face our fears or let them rule the vast unseen spaces of our life with monster CatLion-50force! Courage is the most necessary tool we have in our inner arsenals to face life, at all times. Without it, we become enslaved to the uncertainty and unknowns of life at almost every turn; because we are slaves first to our own fearful thoughts and emotions when we encounter those types of situations. With courage, we not only learn how to feel fear, but we develop muscles which allow us to press through those feelings! Courage is the belief that what lies under the bed is not nearly as scary to us, as the sense of lying in our beds safely and comfortably is great for us! Courage is going out into the world, uncertain and seemingly fearful of whatever danger and unknown awaits us; but believing that going out is worth doing so nonetheless!

stand strong-25What lies on the other side of our fears, because we have courage and faith, is the reward for standing strong in the face of our fears. Like any muscle, courage developed within us, gives us the strength, the ability and the assurance to look even our worst fear in the eye and defeat it with faith and confidence! But that comes only when we continually exercise those muscles of courage we have within us! Truly courage, like all of our muscles, must be used or lost!      

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Gratitude Bests Regret . .

01 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Gratitude, Happiness, Inspiration, Joy, Lessons, Opportunity, Positivity

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WhatYouDoTodayAll too often we don’t know or remember to be grateful for something, some state of our being or some condition of our lives until it’s gone! Only then do we lament its passing, as we took that state or condition for granted just a bit. Perhaps we got so used to it, that we just assumed it would be that way easily or assuredly forever. It surely happens when people leave our lives; their loss leaves us with a gaping hole where they once filled our hearts, our minds and our presence. But it is also that way with circumstances, situations and conditions. We might find that one day we no longer are in the same job, or have the same house, or perhaps that our health suddenly takes a turn; and although these changes are not as hard upon us as the loss of a dear soul whom we love, we still are reminded by our lamenting what has changed. We should have probably felt more grateful for what we had when we had it! That is life.

Trying to live it without regret means we must try harder to live it now with gratitude!  An attitude of gratitude compels us to not only experience all that we can with expectancy, but to appreciate for some reason all that comes our way! Take, for instance, the woman who laments in some manner the body she has when she is younger, as so many young women are prone to do! She may not fully learn to love, accept and appreciate the body she has now, wanting some other physical characteristic which she doesn’t have. She may torment herself, wishing things could be different. She may wish to be thinner, taller, prettier, etc.; but in later years perhaps she will come to realize that those conditions were not so bad after all when she experiences changes in her body as a result of aging, illness or some accident. We all do that to some extent; but we are cheating ourselves out of today’s joy by not loving and appreciating things as they are!

Gratitude is our appreciation for all of our life; our consideration that we are blessed just as we are, the way things AttitudeOf-50are! Gratitude enfolds us and envelopes us in acceptance and surrender, to that which is and also to that which isn’t. It develops by way of purposeful habit into a state of contentment and peace; no matter the circumstances, situations, or conditions. Living in that manner surely enhances each day now; but it also lessens the chances for regretting what is past, as well as easing fears over what is yet to be. Our wholeness in being depends upon focusing upon the present with gratitude regardless the experience, conditions, circumstances and situations. It is only in gratitude that we can realize how much we already have within us and around us!  

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Autonomous and Free . .

30 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Happiness, Lessons

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Freedom

There’s a propensity these days towards making people less free by correcting and asking others to change for us in lieu of correcting and character 5changing self. We mustn’t lose sight of our own fallibility; we must not hold ourselves less accountable for the state of things by judging others by their actions while judging ourselves on our intent. We should give to others the respect of making their own choices based on their individual autonomy, as we desire for ourselves. We’re too often lashing out at others for the way they’ve chosen to live their lives all while neglecting to notice that we’re imperfect creatures living ours!
Do we honestly believe we know best for others? Or have we forgotten that often we don’t even know what is best for ourselves?? The first thing we should do when things aren’t going our way in life is examine our handiwork, our choices, our role and our place in this life. Only after we’ve exhausted ourselves in self-development, self-critique, self-improvement and self-responsibility for our own choices should we decide it time to examine others. Only then. Unless someone is openly intent upon harming us, we should accept their right to live autonomous as well. That is the surest sign of maturity, self-control and self-confidence . .when you can first turn to self for all manner of appraisal, but also for all manner of personal and responsible correction; without impugning that same right to others.
aa_live_and_let_live-50What gives us the right to say we’ve mastered self enough to start correcting others? It’s not our right to decide what is most right for the lives of others, it is theirs. Even if we deem them as mistaken in their personal choices, we haven’t a right to attempt to silence them, nullify them or convey upon them our will instead. It is only when they are willfully harming others that we have a responsibility to step in . . otherwise, we must convey to them the same individual autonomy as we ask for ourselves.  Individuals will never fully agree to every single thing or agree on every manner of choice because they are inherently “individuals” . . unique, different, with varied morals, preferences, histories and beliefs. If it’s not harming us directly or if it’s overtly illegal or criminal, we should live with an attitude of live and let live; which is usually the level of respect we would ask for ourselves in return. Arrogant bullying and controlling others is just that – it’s not individual freedom!    
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Freedom To Be Me!

29 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Commitment, Confidence, Happiness, Lessons, Life

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imagesHY0IP88YOh!! The freedom to be me. At this age, I’m learning to care less about being right, about not failing or making any mistakes, about being accepted by others or seeking their approval. It is a sense of freedom to give yourself permission to be human but to also want to give it to others. It takes effort and purposeful practice, as it doesn’t come naturally. We humans have egos which dictate a whole manner of acceptable and …permissible ranges for not only ourselves but for those with whom we share a space in this world.
It seems to me when we become more critical, self-righteous and over-bearing, that we lose our inherent sense of being human and therefore being humane in turn towards and with others! Insecurity screams about self and against others; confidence stands quietly and assuredly in the awareness and belief that we’re enough, they’re enough and we’re all just humans in God’s greater realm anyway!
At this age, I’m learning to put aside those things which just don’t serve me any longer . . ego especially. I just want to please God and honor Him. I want to love unconditionally that which He created in me and also that which He created in all others around me! Ego (Edging God Out)  stokes all the fires which may seem to keep me warm, but in fact, it ends up destroying entire swaths of my life with either a slow-burn or a raging storm. Let me be gentle, humble, kind, patient, faithful, peaceful, joyful, self-controlled and mostly, let me be love for His honor!
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Confidence From the Creator

02 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, Fullness, God, Humility, Lessons

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CatLion-50When you’re confident and have developed your self-worth from within, based not on anything external such as looks, current position, what others tell you, what society tells you, what clothing you wear or by other material or external measures – you can walk through this world with humility, but also with an insulation that others are lacking. Confidence is the awareness and assurance that you’re just fine as is, you don’t need validation, approval or acceptance of who or what you are by way of anyone or anything external! And it’s the most attractive quality you emit each new day, because it confirms to the world outside of you that you are absolutely fine with and comfortable as you are. And if you love and accept yourself, why wouldn’t they too love and accept you? And if they don’t, so be it! Self-confidence prevails when accepting responsibility for ourselves, and for all we do well or in all which we err; and by realizing others don’t define us. Beware the trap we humans often make of placing the burden for our self-appraisal in the hands of others or at the feet of other means of measure. It doesn’t work that way!
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When you know from where and from Whom you come, how can you think any less of yourself?
Psalm 139:13-14 . .
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 27:3 . .
Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident
.
Hebrews 10:35-39 . .
35 Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. 36 For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. 37 For,
“Yet a little while,
and the coming one will come and will not delay;
38 but my righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
my soul has no pleasure in him.”
39 But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.
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Your Life's Real Purpose . .

30 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, God, Gratitude, Lessons, Life, Love, Wisdom

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purpose-1-6-25People are forever wondering their purpose in life . . but don’t you know by now?!! It’s not some big mystery. Yes, you might accomplish something marvelous and new; or change history, but your purpose is to give away as much of what lives within you as you possibly can . . in the way of love . . hope, compassion, concern besides. Give your heart away, you can never give so much of it that you’ll be left without any for yourself.
For those who assume this is about money, or some service. It might be as an indirect result. But without love attached, and without love as the just cause and motivation – nothing you do, are or give means much anyway! Love is the blessing, love is the reward, love is what you give, what you take, what you ponder and what you make! Your intention in living should be to create a heart so unselfish for its outpourings, that it is known throughout the world as such. That is your purpose.
Go ahead and create what you will, make what you might, form anything by hand or lead us to greatness. But first, consider love. And by love and for love’s sake, everything you do shall be known and all you experience shall be cast. It’s impossible to drench yourself in the waters of love and not quench your thirst, bring relief to your soul and fill your spirit with its Source. Look at the world thirsting, dry and anguished . . even with all it’s inventions, all it’s wealth and all it’s busy people doing great things. Our concern for a legacy should be about what we leave for the world, from our hearts making!
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John 13:34-35 . .
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

1 Peter 4:8 . .
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

Romans 13:8-10 . .
Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

1 John 4:7 . .
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

1 Corinthians 13 . . The Way of Love
If I speak in images0RQ74MV1the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Finding Offense . . The New Battle Raging

29 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Change, Character, Choices, Humility, Offense

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Finding Offense! Hinckley_quote_600Don’t you see that when you ask someone to be silent because you don’t like what they have to say, or you want to change how others do business because it’s not how you would run that kind of business, or you want to make others conform to your point of view because you believe you’re so right about something, that you’re really asking them to be like you in some way or totally? Isn’t that virtually impossible in many ways? If I’m not mistaken, aren’t we all individual, unique and different? What we’re seeing more often in this world is a backlash of egos, driven by arrogant disdain, contempt, fear, insecurity or intolerance for what is deemed to be utterly unacceptable, a difference in belief or opinion; a variation in choice and in behavior; unique and varied points of view, speech and thought. And frankly, this backlash against individuality and freedom of expression is not acceptable if we wish to continue existing together freely on this one rotating sphere!

 

If we find that we are often part of the group of the offended, upset at not getting our way – what we’re really admitting  is our own insecurity, fear, intolerance and lack of humility for others with regard to their differing perspectives, values, beliefs, opinions, speech, thoughts, talents, and any other aspect unique to them! Being offended to the point of asking others to change or demanding it, especially when their actions are not harming us directly or intentionally, is an admission by our own fragile egos that we’re more right, we’re more entitled or we’re crushed that we didn’t get our way! It’s an admission that we might be threatened by what another person represents, especially when we unite in packs to shame others into silence or into changing who they are or what they believe. To that very matter, who made us judge over all the world and who decides who is more right? Are we really going to litigate all belief, values, thoughts, actions and behaviors to the point that we nullify all of our collective individual freedoms?

 

We have more than enough laws on the books already concerning human behavior and actions which we collectively unite in deeming intolerable. Do we need more, or perhaps just more self-control? Should we outlaw all forms of expression, music, books, art, hunting, fishing, farming, sports, hobbies of any kind, movies, television, religious and faith-based practices, owning businesses, having children and everything else that fills
pandoras-boxus culturally, defines us morally and enables us to shape us as individuals because we might find someone else’s practice therein objectionable? That’s what could happen over time because we’ve opened this Pandora’s box of intolerance and offense! Where do we draw the line upon this crusade of “rightness” born out of insecurity, fear or the need to be vindicated? 

 

If someone is living their life according to their own beliefs and values, without breaking the laws and causing harm intentionally, then shouldn’t we endeavor to let them live as we ask to be permitted to live? This immense battle of the enraged and offended egos, which is growing, developing and spreading worldwide – when it comes right down to it – is really nothing more than adult bullying! It’s diverse groups of insecure, fearful, intolerant bullies trying to suppress, silence or even oppress others into conforming to them; attempting to alter all of life around them to make it more acceptable and suitable to just themselves because they cannot or will not control their own emotions when things don’t go as they would like them to go!

 

The end result is the willful suppression of all forms of individual expression, as there will always be offended people willing to claim something as such! If we’re going to demand our children stop bullying, we should first stop showing them how readily we adults do it as a response when we don’t get our way! Part of living in the world amongst one another is first learning to accept one another as is. To ask another to change for you is to admit you are flawed, not them.

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Walking By Faith . .

13 Sunday Jul 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Commitment, Faith, Wisdom

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I don’t think we can endeavor to be walking by faith too much these days! The world itself is our constant and daily reminder. This world is of sin, this is the fallen world. This world itself cannot offer us of peace of mind, contentment in our soul or rest for our spirit. This world has its true beauty and its genuine sources of joy, even moments of peaceful surrender; but this world cannot offer us aInspirational-Bible-Verses-About-Faithny lasting measure of inner bliss unless we create it there within for ourselves. We have to learn the art of walking by faith towards the unknown, in a state of purposeful peace regardless what happens around us or even to us, for the sake of our own contentment; so that we might dwell in bliss whenever possible.
Our bliss, our happiness and our peace are not to be made contingent upon the world’s condition or the state of things, or the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Our state of bliss cannot be found in the actions of others, what they’ll do or say, or in the way we’re treated. Our state of bliss, like a necessary tether of faith to more than this world, ensures that we don’t allow ourselves – our very souls and spirits – to suffer too much in this world. When we have faith in our purpose for being, when we put faith in our knowledge of who we are as spirits in bodies with souls, living in a fallen world of sin, we then know to put faith in more than our emotions and our feelings regarding all that we are and all that we must endure!
Faith is a lifeline; it’s a tether by which we walk through the perilous and the pleasurable, in the storms and in the midst of the calm, whether we’re in battening-down mode or able to jump freely for joy. Faith is what will keep us at peace, mindful of our contentedness, ever resting in some measure of gratitude-based joy from within! Nothing of this world can be the fomenter of our true peace, contentment and joy; therefore we must be the purposeful and practiced creators of our own peace, contentment and joyFaithShoes all from within! And faith is the key.
Tethering with faith to a Greater source of life’s affirming worth by accepting  our role in it and by assuring our infinite value for our journeys is the key! This world is fallen, but faith reminds us that there is much more than this! Walk in faith, in each and every step.
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Constant Sunshine . .

13 Sunday Jul 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Inspiration, Positivity

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SmileySun001-2-25Positivity!!!……I woke up today minding a bit that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. These last few days I was supposed to be up north in the cool pines. It was another getaway, and I enjoy getaways during the summer months! Things happen which often make us alter our plans because we must; and so I’m here. I was just thinking though this morning upon awakening that I should be waking up someplace else, where …I’m not. So my remedy for this slight disappointment is to focus on the positive things which I can draw from my days here instead!

 

I saw a movie I might not have seen. I got to have lunch with a friend whom I hadn’t seen in a while. I had a nice phone conversation catching up and sharing some plans with another friend, whom I’ve wanted to collaborate with for some time now; all which might not have been possible were I spending my night last night with friends up north. I’ve enjoyed milder temps here in the Valley, enjoying the less searing heat. I got to appreciate the moon from the familiar vantage point of my own place. It all worked out perhaps as it was meant to . . and I surely am endeavoring to make the best of my days even if they’re not going as first planned! Sometime within the next few weeks is more than enough time to go again.

 

I’m learning that the secret to any situation is to find within it everything for which there is to be grateful! When you choose to see the blessings, even in what seems errant or unwelcome, you provide for yourself an ability to see beyond the disappointments, the inconveniences, the dramas and even the painful realities. This for me surely qualified as just a disappointment, but in looking for the positives in the slight letdown, I am able to turn my eyes towards the proverbial constant sunshine with rosy sunglasses on!

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It’s All In The Attitude

04 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Happiness

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Attitude

AttitudeEverything-25It’s All In The Attitude

Do you find yourself envying someone their attitude or their mood?  Maybe they are always having a great day, happily enjoying life seemingly all the time!  How can this be?  Surely they have bad days too?  Perhaps the difference between your day and theirs isn’t in the actual events of the day, but rather how they view the events of their day.  Maybe, just maybe, their day is so great, they are so happy, because they choose to view their day as positive, happy, and filled with blessings!

Maybe absolutely nothing bad happened to you today, fortunately.  You had good health, you felt well, you experienced favor in your movements and you felt blessed.  Is that a guarantee that you will label your day as overall a success?  Will you automatically decide upon this set of conditions that your day is a happy one?  I hope so, but the real mark of a truly happy and contented person is when you can find your joy, your sense of contentment and your happiness even on days when things do happen to you. Perhaps it isn’t up to our circumstances to determine and decide whether we had a happy day, but rather, it is up to each of us, whether we have an ability to be happy in spite of our circumstances.

Some people are always happy, even though by most people’s standards, they should be miserable and unhappy according to their circumstances, spreading their misery like the flu!  Others are naturally negative, they ooze their stress, their pain, their discomfort, it spreads like something vile, like germs!  What distinguishes this phenomenal difference in attitude?  It’s merely a choice.  That is all it is.  Nothing needs to be decided other than,BeSoHappy01-50 someone choosing to be a positive affirming voice, speaking with hope, a healthy attitude, in a positive way.  Isn’t it nice when we encounter these people?  They are radiant bursts of sunlight, positive energy in a world marred by negativity and gloom.  We pay attention to them, for they stand out.

We usually feel drawn to them, like moths to the flame, for their radiance is a warming source of comfort.  Aren’t we encouraged to hear all about their lives, not because they are so different in scope, nor in actual events, but because these people can make the most mundane and ordinary days sound like something more special!  It’s a joy to be near these people, they illuminate the darkest corners of life, by just exuding light and love.  Be a source of positive energy in a dimly-lit world … shine and shine brightly, for you never know who is using your glow to lead them through their dark realms!

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