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Category Archives: Lessons

It’s a Hard-Knock Life . . Making Mistakes

21 Saturday Feb 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Confidence, Growing, Lessons, Maturity

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Maturity, Overcoming mistakes, Personal growth

The problem with some mistakes – we keep making them! That is until we learn what we need to from them, in order that we recognize the situations leading us to make the same choices; as well as the necessity and reasons for us to no longer do the same things or think the same way! Mistakes aren’t inherently bad for us, IF we do take the lessons we’re presented through each one by which we learn, we make changes, we develop and grow beyond. But many of us only accept the mistakes repeatedly by making the same types of choices, often complaining that things don’t go our way, aren’t right for us or offering us much in life. images goals 3

We just haven’t learned the process of viewing everything which happens to us in life, including mistakes, hard lessons and painful episodes, as the impetus for our own personal development. We stay in a rut comforting ourselves with our lack of confidence, our low sense of self-worth, our agony over life’s seeming unfairness, our hurt feelings, our wounded pride, our insecurity, our anger over the way things are, our fear of change, our stubborn refusal to let it all go and/or our continual self-pity party. Perhaps we’ve learned that we get more attention wearing the negative circumstances of our lives like badges of survival and courage; rather than viewing them as minor steps in the process of our personal development which lead us to the real badges of honor, those of having successfully managed and maneuvered through this thing called life!  imageschange

Only when we realize that we could do better, we should do more as we’re responsible for our own lives, so we might want to make changes because we have loftier expectations for ourselves, do we begin to see situations with the light of our own honest appraisal and recognition. It is only when we value our own life enough to not settle, to not accept less, to be fully responsible for all the goals we’ve made and met,  and to accept every outcome and circumstance as part of the process of life’s continual school of learning and self-development that we truly become our own life’s manager. All circumstances of our life are then viewed as potential lessons intrinsic to our development and growth through the process of choice, adaptation, learning and correction so that we become more – even with each mistake we make!  Signature02

Changing Currents . .

01 Sunday Feb 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Change, Choices, Conquering Fear, Discipline, Joy, Lessons, Peace

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Change, Faith, Self-Control

Looks like Wuthering Heights out there this morning, with this misty, foggy morning we’re having. I’m enjoying the changes Winter brings; one day there’s warmth and sunshine, and the next a wet few days of cloudy chill. Change is good, it keeps us from getting used to the way things are; potentially growing quite restless from the boredom, sameness and constancy of our habits, patterns and thoughts. We are prompted by change to flow with it and to make the necessary alterations within to accommodate it.   DSCI0440

Without change, I would suppose even those things we value the most would soon meld into the growing stagnancy of our minds, thoughts and lives; thus making us a bit less appreciative and grateful for them. Change keeps us on our toes in life; it forces us to restructure, rebuild, renew and create. Change is disrupting, as it often moves us from the familiar and beloved, or at least from the all-too-comfortable realms of our world. It represents often times a bit of chaos, and with that our fears, doubts and worries are stoked into flames which threaten to consume our lives entirely at the onset. But change can also be the catalyst for something more; change can be the exact thing we need to shake us from our sleep, to motivate and to entice us into action which then betters our life. Learning to change our perspective in regards to the constant changing circumstances of our lives is key to how enjoyable our lives become and how at peace we are throughout. 532358_4001177101920_1572559675_n_large

Not everyone is accepting of change, as it usually represents a disruption to the patterns, ways and comforting familiarities of life; but change happens nonetheless. The best way we can learn to flow through life is to view life as an unpredictable ride on changing currents, leading us to unknown and uncertain places. Life becomes less a struggle when we accept the very nature of its constantly-changing transformation, alteration and uncertainty. And it’s often just our own fears, doubts and worries which make us doubt our ability to ride the latest changing current. We have to take control of our emotions in regards to the uncertainty and possible fears which changes represent to us. When we learn to control our reactions and emotions about what happens to us in life from within, we gain immeasurable peace, comfort and joy in life! What we need to face the unseen coming with these changes is faith in what we can’t see, know or prove. Faith in God, and His assurances to us, brings us the courage to face the changes and challenges of life head on, rather than to dread them! Have faith in today, through today and in God! For changes will come . . Signature02

Because Life Is Hard . .

28 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Contentment, Faithfulness, God, Lessons, Peace, Wisdom

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Faith, Maturity, Peace

Some things just hurt. They go beyond our ability to reason, to comprehend and to accept. Some things we will never be able to fully understand. The death of a child, the sudden loss of a loved one, the onslaught of tragedy or suffering or hardship which we endure just by living full lives, or the seeming unfairness and inequity of how things play out in life are all truly difficult tastes and realities to swallow. I wish I could pass along a trick which makes everything easier; but I can give you a way to make peace with what seems hard to handle, accept or process. encouraging quote (4)

Once we learn to accept that we aren’t here for our purposes, but that we are here by God’s choice, His design, at His timing, with the parameters and specifics of life He has assigned to us personally and exclusively for His purposes, we can be at peace with life! It doesn’t mean that we will be able to tolerate everything which occurs to us, or to process all things which we must; it won’t even mean we’ll always be amenable to God’s will for us. After all, we cannot help but want what we want, when we want it, because we have egos which drive our desires and drives. But in accepting our role in God’s plan, for His purposes and according to His will, we learn how to put God at the center of our lives with each progressive day we live! Each day we draw nearer to Him, growing in our relationship with Him and towards Him, we learn and practice relegating our ego to a secondary position. By putting God first, we are able to accept things which others find intolerable, which we ourselves would have found intolerable once when our egos were a priority! We are able to remain at rest and in peaceful contentment progressively more and more each day we learn to let God be the center of our lives. bible-verses-6

By making this choice to focus on God at the helm in every aspect of our lives – our will, our desires, our wishes and our emotional reactions to life as it happens – all becomes secondary to our trust and faith in Him! This is maturing in our relationship with God; our process of learning to put Him first for our own sake, honoring Him through our faithfulness, obedience and trust. And the rewards for our increasing maturity in our relationship with God are more peace of mind, better emotional control and more contentment for life! Signature02

Keep Reaching, Keep Striving!

22 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Commitment, Integrity, Lessons, Patience, Self-Control

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Discipline, goals, Self-Control

Sometimes we’re so close to things, we can almost reach out and touch them, taste them, experience the glorious rewards of our efforts! But we’re still not quite there yet. We know that our proximity to achievement and accomplishment, as well as all the time we’ve spent, calls out to us like a siren’s call; but in our eagerness for success and our anticipation to be finished, we shouldn’t give up on our efforts or relax in our pursuits just yet. The finish line awaits! Who wants to run almost the entire race but fail to cross the finish line? 45-Are-Your-Excuses-Greater-Than-Your-Dreams

The reason that success is so rewarding is the uplift and positivity that it brings to our souls. It feels good to accomplish and to achieve, to reach our goals and to finish our pursuits. And it feels even better to have that success after putting in more time and more effort, before we just give up or throw in the towel part way there. We gain a lot more when we hold ourselves to the test at hand with patience and fortitude, by our own will, for our own sake through discipline! We gain a far greater measure of success for the greater expenditure of effort, time and perseverance with which we invest ourselves into our own goals and dreams. But even more so, we gain an intangible boost to our integrity for having kept the promises we make to ourselves! And that is the reward which does the most in feeding our sense of self and our confidence in self!    88744-Working+out+quotes+health+and+

Reaching for the stars may seem more difficult and costly than reaching for less. Holding ourselves to account for the state of our lives gives us pause, when we realize that by our own fear, apathy, or lack of commitment, we accepted much less in life than what we were capable of achieving and accomplishing. If you are on your way towards something, having set a goal based on a desire or dream, don’t quit when those sirens call out to you! Stay the course and see your dreams through! Nothing worth having is going to be easy, or we wouldn’t then give it such infinite value in our lives! Ease isn’t a good enough reason to not reach higher, take extra steps or to go the distance. And your integrity should remind you that discipline, effort and time invested in yourself is a prize worth holding onto regardless!        Signature02

Choose the Challenging Road . .

11 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Conquering Fear, Courage, Discipline, Lessons, Opportunity

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Challenges, growth, Life Lessons

We do ourselves no favor when we look for the easiest way out or the way of least resistance every time! I choose the stairs because I know that habitual choice does more for me than an elevator. A flight of stairs is harder, the elevator often more convenient and easier; but the stairs does something for me physically which the elevator can’t! And so, I choose the stairs most times. In all the ways life was made easy for me by choice or by circumstance, I responded with less change, less growth and less will. In every way.               imageschallenge1

 

When we aren’t challenged, we don’t grow, change or become stronger. Look at someone who truly has overcome significant challenges and see if you aren’t truly inspired! Life is in our challenges and how we do in fact overcome them or at least endeavor to! There isn’t much to say about evading, eluding or ignoring challenges . . and so there isn’t much we can say about our lives when we have or when we do evade, elude or ignore challenges most of or all the time. We’re meant to develop, learn, overcome and to experience change all of our lives. Shutting down that process by means of self-doubt, self-protection, fear or even an apathetic attitude towards growth doesn’t serve any purpose but to instill a false sense of acceptance about a life which then stagnates.

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Push yourself to stand up to the fears and doubts which could otherwise prove crippling. Take a stance against your own urge to run, to evade or to always choose ease. And when others give you the easy way, or life proves itself too simple, challenge yourself to more! And if you believe your life has already been too challenging, hence your desire to not experience anything but ease; I suggest you take a look at how much personal growth and what lessons were hidden there within everything you have had to overcome! There isn’t much you’ll gain from a life without challenge, without test or trial and sans difficulty. But in the throes of what seems challenging, there is much to learn, much to overcome and much by which we make ourselves better! Perhaps it is just the perspective . . challenges aren’t all bad, negative or hard. In challenges lies great potential for change, opportunity for growth and life lessons!       Signature02

 

Living In The Present . .

09 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Conquering Fear, Contentment, Happiness, Lessons, Self-Control, Wisdom

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Escape, Peace, Wisdom

Have you thought at times how wonderful it would be to live someplace else? Rather than here, rather than now, for dwelling someplace other than in the current situation might seem like a rewarding way to live life; it might seem like an escape! After all, don’t we often dwell in two other sought-after places as much as possible as a means of escape or as a way of providing ourselves comfort from the here and now? 

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We often travel to the past, a destination which cannot be changed; which has a great hold on our emotions and our psyches. There in the past, we think we can find a solution to our present woes; or perhaps we think we can find a way to heal something which was broken or fix something which faltered. If only our reasoning in regards to the past were able at this time, this day and for this particular subject, to lead us like a detective to some light-bulb moment which we could change back then. If only we could alter in our own minds the steps which led back then from A to B, we would now realize our current residency in C would be more acceptable and not such a source or contention or dismay. If only! 

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And often we desire travel to the future, a place which remains unknown no matter how hard we look or how far we try to see.  We have such high hopes of altering our current state of life by learning about what the unknown future holds for us. Like wayward time-travelers, if we could just take our capsule to the farthest reaches of some galaxy ahead of the here and now, we would know for certain that what we’re doing now is laying the appropriate groundwork for what will happen to us then. We could see what to fear, or what to evade or know for certain so many aspects which make up the great body of uncertainty looming ahead. Perhaps we think by knowing what is coming and when, we will in some way be better prepared for living these present days sans error, mistakes and heartbreaks.

 

Sadly, both destinations truly cannot really make the here and now any better; but we insist upon spending a great deal of time preparing to go, musing our emotions and reasoning away our thoughts about both travel spots! Do they really serve as an escape from the here and now; or are both destinations often detrimental to our enjoyment and our contentment of the here and now? I would guess that more often than not, traveling and spending too much time in either the past or the future leads us to less pleasure, comfort and peace in the here and now! Life is occurring right here and right now. If we gave our energy and turned our thoughts to how we might be content and at peace with the current state of things, we might realize how very blessed, how very fortunate and how very comfortable things are for us. And if we feel today is fine as is there is no need to draw anything but lessons from the past and to live with hope for the future! Comfort, peace and enjoyment now require no escape! All of that comfort, peace and enjoyment now comes through acceptance of the past, known and unchangeable; and faith in the future, sight unseen. Live for today and in today; let yesterday be but a guide and tomorrow, just a hopeful promise.

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Overcoming . . The Driving Force Within

05 Friday Dec 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Choices, Commitment, Conquering Fear, Discipline, Growing, Lessons, Strength

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Determination, growth, Overcoming

Overcoming . .  why do we doubt our own abilities to attempt, to persevere and to ultimately overcome? Fear, anxiety, worry, regret, and all the other obstacles we perceive before us shouldn’t stop us from pursuing the life we desire; especially if we learn to give ourselves credit for all the overcoming we’ve already done! It even started long before we became aware that overcoming was what we were doing!!!

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We overcame the process of childbirth, since we’re here. We then overcame the years of helplessness, in infancy and toddler-times, when we depended upon so many others to get us through. We survived that! And we then overcame growing up into childhood, one long and often painful step at a time. We went from not even being able at some point to hold up our own heads, to one day plunging forward into learning how to walk. It was a long process of persevering through missteps and teeters which resulted in stumbles or even falls; but we wanted to learn so much more than the weight of our own reasoning, fears or doubts! Then we were sent off to school and had to learn many more ways to overcome by learning and by growth. And every day since, we’ve learned to overcome something just to get where we are today.

Life is all about overcoming, surviving and thriving regardless the challenges which are inherent in the process! Humans seem to be the only living beings which give so much credence to their emotions and feelings, so that we can actually think or feel our way out of challenges essential to our development! We learn through life to process fear, worry, anxiety and doubt with more weight than we knew to give all of that in our childhood. Adulthood often enables people to learn some bad and/or negative ways to not overcome. But overcoming is what we’re supposed to do! All through life, until our death, we’re meant to move forward, to learn, to develop, to change and to grow.

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When we let fear, doubt, worry, anxiety, apathy or any other negative we perceive hold us down or back, we are only hurting ourselves! Each of us is given things to challenge the inner muscles of overcoming all through life; were we to keep our distance from all those challenges, all of life, where would we be now?? I guess the baby would have chosen to stay in utero, the child in the bliss of the crib and the youngster in kindergarten. But we weren’t able to render ourselves stagnant then, why should we endeavor to do that now??

Seize the power found within your spirit of overcoming! It is there to propel you through all the challenges and tough times in life! Be your own best friend, don’t talk yourself out of development, growth or forward movement, just because it represents a challenge or tough times ahead. You’re already an overcomer! You just need to believe that is the truth about YOU!

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Comparison, The Thief of Happiness . .

03 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Character, Choices, Contentment, Lessons, Positivity, Success

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Comparison, Individuality, Self-Esteem

One person excels at singing, another exemplifies the idyllic beauty, another can paint a masterpiece on a blank canvas, someone else is able to teach young minds about a waiting world, and another can slice open a human body with precision and care. We’re all given differing abilities, talents, skills and interests as a specific set of gifts unique to us. When we start to assume that there is a way to measure equity between gifts or that our gifts should be equitable in comparison to those of others, we are already losing the intrinsic worth of those gifts!

Often times, human beings try so hard to make things fair because they’re caught up in a game of comparison. Comparing me to you and you to others and others to even more people can only find someone lacking and others in want. Life isn’t designed to seem the same for each of us or to bring us the same results; there is no equity or “fairness” to be had in life when we each start out in different places, with different assets and limitations, or with varying skill sets and gifts. There is simply no way to compare your apple to my orange. Our only similarity is in our humanness. Other than that, we are a mixed bag of individuality; belonging to various subsets! We should give up our desire to see equity for things and fairness in things which first haven’t any set value in the world; but are seen as personal traits, skills to be developed and unique talents in which we have ability.

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Yes it would be lovely to sing like some great pop star, to have the ability to use my voice to make millions and to be famous. And yes, it might be wonderful to be a successful brain surgeon, so that I might help to heal the world with my talents. And surely it would be great to have the hair, skin, body or feature of another human being. Or it might be fabulous to be or do anything someone else has been able to do, with seeming ease! But I cannot follow in anyone else’s footsteps but step forward with my own! And so I owe it to myself to stop comparing myself to others in whom my similarities may be limited to female, human and perhaps a few other insignificant commonalities. imagescomparison3

Comparison is a terrible waste, for it leads us to believe we’re always lacking! And comparison is a thief, in that it reminds us that others seem to have more! And comparison is a killer of dreams, in that it teaches us we might not be as capable with our skill set as others have been! If only we could let go the need to compare our lives to those of others! If we focus on living for ourselves, the lives we are best meant to live, without the constant need to assess and measure the results of others in theirs. Perhaps we would all live happier, more contented lives sans comparison; with more self-respect, greater self-confidence and a genuine self-love. Signature02

The Recipes of Life . .

21 Friday Nov 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Confidence, Faith, Lessons, Patience, Peace, Quitting

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Fortitude, Perseverance, tenacity

I am trying a new recipe this morning, and I was starting to get a bit concerned about whether or not it would work. It’s one of those with yeast, which requires a period of activation and rising to do its part. And I hope it will turn out well, but I see a parallel with life in this simple task of hoping in the yeast to do its part. Life for the most part is a series of actions, purposeful and not, which add up to some outcomes and consequences which either seem positive or negative by our appraisal. So life is just a sequence of things we hope for and changes we make when our hopes are dashed. No big deal! 23-09-2013-00-Success-Quotes

 

Why then do we put so much emotional weight on everything we haven’t got a full grasp of control upon anyway?? Do we suppose that we’re better-fated, better-intentioned or just better than others – so that everything should go our way? Even if we’ve prayed and asked God for His favor in something, it doesn’t mean that He will agree that we’re making the right steps, moving in the right direction or are ready for whatever it is we’re looking to find, do or be! Relax; life is about starting some recipes, attempting new things, trying to make something from nothing by mixing intentions, aims and hopes all together. And if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again! Don’t get so discouraged because it wasn’t easy, perfect or natural for you. If you happen to get fortunate with whatever it is you are attempting, then great! But if it doesn’t work after a while and a few go-arounds, perhaps look for a new “recipe” or way to do what it is you wish to!178962_476497912365218_1729959021_n

 

Don’t let the emotional weight of doing, being, making and hoping overwhelm the entire process. Life is all about the trial and error, the endeavoring and the accomplishing, learning and growing in ways you might not yet have even imagined. But don’t give up hope that you’ll either make this recipe or some other way ultimately work. Discouragement doesn’t taste as good as finding the right recipe!

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Discipline Brings Rewards . .

12 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Character, Choices, Commitment, Discipline, Lessons, Patience, Self-Control, Strength

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commitment, Discipline, Self-Control

When disciplining our own behavior brings us rewards immediately, our will is much easier to muster. But when discipline promises rewards which aren’t yet noticeable, haven’t yet paid-off with any “rewards” or given us much measurable success, we have to dig down deeper into our stores of will and perseverance. It’s then when we learn of what stuff we are made. It is then that we know how committed we are to whatever it is we’re trying to achieve, to accomplish or to be. dis

 

Our personal success might depend on others at times, it may rely in part on random occurrences which alter our course; but our successes are always a direct result and dependent upon how much will, determination, discipline and fortitude we choose to exert when things aren’t paying off or coming so easily! Our dig-down-to-it-ed-ness and our desire to be, do, have or make something come to fruition must be more worthwhile and prized than the weight of all the time passing, or how tiresome it becomes in process. 89281-Quotes+on+working+out+

 

Climbing up a mountain can be a grueling and tiresome venture. But at the top awaits the reward! There is a 360 degree vista at the apex which is like no other on the way up. There is the joy and sense of accomplishment of having made the ascent and done the hard work! Easy living rarely brings such tremendous uplifting victories to our soul by way of joy and contentment, much less by bringing such a boost to our self-worth or confidence. It is usually in the hard, endurance-worthy, time-contributed, sweat-raising, questionable matters by which we earn our greatest payoffs!

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There are gains in easy, no-sweat victories for sure. But not like the gains and rewards when discipline is a genuine investment! You can choose, do I sit out the hard stuff just because it requires more energy, time and will; or do I discipline myself for those matters which truly require it because they bring more to me in the end?! Signature02

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