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Tag Archives: Forgiveness

Don’t Take It Personally!

28 Thursday Jan 2016

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Choices, Contentment, Freedom, God, Humility, Joy, Love, Maturity

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Contentment, Forgiveness, Freedom, God, Joy, Peace

So many people take things personally, they feel unforgiving and unrelenting about hanging onto that which they presume hurts them. But in the end, is that an easier choice than just giving others the benefit of the doubt or forgiving them for their lapses? The older I get, the more I learn to let things roll off my back like water on glass. I don’t let things absorb into me as easily or as readily as I once did. I’m still reactive to things in part; but I am trying harder, and with more purpose, to think before I react to what I perceive as hurtful.

Love-is-patient

It’s not my doing, but this sense of letting go and forgiving more readily comes from growing closer in relationship with the Lord. The more I stem my own self in surrender to Him as the center of my own life, the more I understand the necessity for this. If I’m not the focal point of my own life, then I needn’t take things so personally or seek my own vindication! And if not every thing is about me anyway, then it’s easier to presume others aren’t focusing on me deliberately. Hurts, wounds, and supposed injuries aren’t as common an infliction for me as they once were; simply because I don’t put myself in the center of my universe, my needs aren’t paramount and my feelings aren’t as important or even sure! Maybe forgiveness comes easier to us when we’re not placing ourselves so high up on the scale of importance? We’re able to let others slip up, make their mistakes and live their imperfect lives. And perhaps we don’t assume the worst about others when we’ve learned to relegate our own special interests to a lower rung? It’s not as if others are always aware of us or our expectations, much less so willing to put our needs ahead of their own. If we’re all measured equally in God’s eyes, then why should what I feel or think or do or say be of any more or less importance or value than what others do or say? It shouldn’t!  releaseenergy

 

There is freedom in living without such random triggers of insecurities, doubt, fear and worry; sans my own need for vindication or my measure of joy being contingent upon the words or actions of others! It’s not, my value and my worth comes from God; my peace of mind and joyful spirit are a result of living with trust in Him. I’m not any more or less important in His eyes, so what happens to me is not as important as I may assume. Wanting to move closer towards Him, makes it easier to focus on the many ways I need to mature within! I’ve learned that being wounded, hurt, easily offended or so quick to be angry because of others is not useful to me. I can control my own emotions and relegate them accordingly, because not everything is about my sense of pride. Forgiveness is key, but so is not seeking to find wrongs in everyone else around me! Loving other people means I learn to accept them with more humility; thinking less often of myself and more often of them. Placing myself in the outer ring along with everyone else, while placing God in the center, makes this all so much easier to practice!   Signature02

Let It Go!!

13 Tuesday Oct 2015

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Attitude, Change, Choices, Contentment, Freedom, Lessons, Maturity

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Forgiveness, Letting Go, Peace of Mind

So many people are held by some anger, some bitterness or resentment from their past or from past events in life that their entire lives reflect it. Often they’re like lit fuses waiting to flare whenever the mere mention of the original experience is even thought of or mentioned. But the actual toll upon the soul of bearing that burden isn’t from the original source, or the original insult long since concluded; it is derived from the feelings and emotions of anger, resentment, bitterness or pain still harbored within by choice!  93124-People+will+hurt+yougod+will+h

Nothing we allow to fester within us ever becomes anything but an open wound, an unhealed sore or a vivid scar. We have to face what bothers us, feel what we must; but then we must learn to release it once and for all. If someone wrongs us years ago, what is the point of carrying that as a badge of honor into a time and place where no one else can change it or carry the burden for us? It is our choice to carry, but it is often then our burden to bear and ours alone! By not letting go of anger, bitterness, resentment or some perceived wounding, we are allowing ourselves to be continuously harmed by it! Surely we don’t have to forget what we deem to be a wrong, but we don’t have to hold them in our hearts, minds and beings for eternity! Letting go of the sense of being wronged, and the anger, bitterness or resentment which comes from such an experience is necessary for our lives to seem peaceful and content, as well as joyful. Even the slightest taste of that wound relived repeatedly keeps the virus of it alive within us! And no one who lives will go through life without being wronged at some point. It isn’t always easy or natural to forgive, but for the sake of having peace within as a result by doing so. It isn’t as though we have to let people off the hook or go unpunished when we believe they’ve hurt us or done something bad. But when we choose to acknowledge wrongs, purposeful and not, we are placing some weight of that on our own souls by choice! Many choose then to relive the experience through angry outbursts, bitter diatribes or resentful comments repeatedly over many years to come. And like everything else which has already come and gone, nothing can change what has already occurred!  forgiveness2__1_2_8919

Choose to let go before what impacts you starts to wear on you. Give up the need to hold onto the wrongs done to you, or the wrongs you perceive that you bore unfairly, for your own sake. For just like forgiveness is a means of unloading one’s own soul of a burden by forgiving another, letting go of anger, bitterness or resentment over something long past is the healthier choice for the long run. There is nothing unjust or unfair about letting something go which no longer can be remedied or changed in any other way. Holding on to an offense you believe you endured only serves to keep you a prisoner and victim to its power! Letting something go serves to keep it from eating further away at you or from being its lifelong hostage and victim!  Signature02

LEARNING AS WE GO

05 Wednesday Sep 2012

Posted by Cheryl Ries in God

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Creativity, Forgiveness, God, Learning

LEARNING AS WE GO

I wish I knew then what I know now.  I didn’t, and so, I made mistakes, I lived my life with a flawed sense of reality, sometimes quite selfishly focusing on all the wrong things, the things which don’t really matter when it comes right down to it.  But you know, I suppose that is what separates me from sainthood, I didn’t know, I wasn’t perfect, and all I could do was the best I knew to do when I knew to do it!  Lighten up . . . we are imperfect creatures, designed with flaws, made in flesh with all too human characteristics.  We hurt, we bleed, we covet, we need.  But we can strive to be better each new day, to do better each new year of this life.  I am not where I want to be yet, but I’m headed in the right direction, facing my demons, conquering my enemy fears, and looking for my dreams!
When we make mistakes, do we know that we have two choices?  We can forgive ourselves, as easily as we would probably forgive our friends or family theirs, or we can harbor the harm as though it has ownership on some part of us.  It is often the case that we mold ourselves around our upsets, shape our lives to fit our troubles and create new forms out of the dented clay we have battered in just being humans.  Is that fair?  Does anyone deserve an onus of responsibility which requires perfection?  I have set such lofty standards, that I almost made it impossible at times to exist in this world with my portfolio of follies, those things which I would label the collective mistakes which altered my life significantly.  No, in terms of the world’s turning, they are not earth-shaking, but for my life, perhaps I would have had an entirely different life had I not made these mistakes or lived with these choices.  Can we go back and change the past to ease our burden of guilt?  No  . . . we are left to process, to forgive ourselves our failings and to proceed.  Failing at something doesn’t make us failures as human beings.  It is not the case.  If I cannot come to terms with that significant difference in defining my life, then I cannot move onward to the future with peace of mind.  And I must!  That is what I must do.  I must move forward, so I must forgive myself for being human.  If God can and does forgive me, why can’t I forgive myself?  I must!!

Learn to be all too human, it is what God made you to be.  You are not the exception to the rule, but just another one of us, doing your best each new day!  Let go, trust in God, and try to do better and be better each morning.  But, remember as you live your life, you will make mistakes, you will fail along the journey, you will suffer disappointments and you will let people down.  That doesn’t make you a failure, nor does it destroy your life.  You must forgive yourself, just as you would ask God or others to forgive you, let yourself find a kind and loving heart waiting there within to give nurturing back to yourself!  It’s the requisite condition of our very human design. 

 

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