Sometimes in life, we’re waiting for the approval or acceptance of others just to proceed. We give others a lot of weight in our lives via that choice to garner another’s approval and acceptance before we act or speak! By waiting on that opinion of another, we often water down our own talent, point of view, or performance accordingly. We become addicted to the verification which another person’s positive feedback, approval, and acceptance of our actions, words, thoughts, or beliefs provide. We often need that before we do what we think we should, what we’re compelled to do! Instinctively, we often know what we should do. We have talents, skills, dreams and ambitions which motivate our actions. But when we filter those internal drives through the perspective, experience, intellect and understanding of others, we create a fissure of interference for our own success! We don’t need others to tell us we’re able, we’re good enough, we’re talented, or that we’re going to succeed at something! What we really need more than an opinion, a nod of approval or an avowed acceptance from another, is our own confident assurance in what we’re doing, saying, thinking, and believing! When we care too much what others think regarding our lives, we give away our own power to act and we become increasingly more insecure about ourselves!
Wanting approval or being tied to getting acceptance from others is alright if we aren’t relying upon it. If it’s the icing on our cake of already believing in ourselves and feeling secure in our thoughts, actions, speech and behavior, then it’s more than okay! Especially if it comes in the form of compliments and affirmations of our successes! But if getting approval is our usual way of knowing we can proceed or that we should do something, then it’s just a reflection of our insecurity. We need to know how to do, to say, to be, to think, and to feel independent of others injecting their opinions, beliefs, and dreams into the mix! We are unique individuals, which makes it impossible for others to successfully step into our shoes, to know what is best for us in any regard. It is up to us to make the choices, to step forward into the unknown, that each new day represents, with confidence and self-assurance. We must accept the reality that we’ll win some and we’ll lose some, that we’ll be successful and that we’ll fail, as well as that we’re responsible for the way our lives turn out! When we’re children, others step in to make the decisions which we cannot, but when we reach adulthood, it’s up to us to securely accept the role of the manager of our own lives.
Insecurity is the inner voice which screams, “I’m not ready!” or “Not yet!” or “Should I?”. Insecurity is what blocks us when we endeavor to pursue our dreams. It is the inner force which gives others more credibility when estimating our abilities or our success. It’s the inability to act unless or until others give us their permission or confirm our preparedness or state of readiness. What a terrible way to live, needing others to give us what we should be able to garner from within! If only we would believe in ourselves and give to ourselves the same level of credibility we seem to easily give to others!
Learning to rely upon our own instincts, to accept responsibility for our own successes and failures, as well as being eager about the personal growth we’ll experience when we do is key. It’s often seemingly easier to give others the burden of our choices in life, as perhaps it will take the onus of accountability from our own shoulders if we do! But in letting others lead us in our own lives, we also miss all the opportunities we have for character development and for reaping the personal rewards of creating success! Step in eagerly as manager of your own life, in doing so, you will have to accept many things which aren’t perfect, all the failings which result from your own choices, and the burden of regret when things don’t go as you hope. But you also get the successes! You’ll get the esteem-building, confidence-affirming realization that you met the challenge, reached new heights, took a daring step, achieved a dream, and grew more in the process!