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Tag Archives: Pain

We Need Room For Joy

05 Wednesday Sep 2012

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Uncategorized

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Emotions, Grief, Joy, Pain

We Need Room For Joy

 

There are two common emotional responses to bad experiences which are not advisable ways in which to deal with our pain, grief, anguish, anger, frustration, despair & sadness. First of all, we are not to not feel anything, stuffing the pain away somewhere deep inside the recesses of our souls & spirits, only to deny ourselves a process of healing in the end. Those things always have a way of resurfacing when we haven’t dealt with them. Secondly, we cannot dwell in those negative places once we’ve begun the process of healing for a duration longer than necessary.

Some take years of their lives or worse, their lifetimes, wearing their badges of “honor” which are only badges of injustice in reality for the loss of all their precious years of happiness, contentment, productivity & peace lost when those negative emotions we should only feel for a time have become encampments in which we have chosen to dwell for longer than necessary! We often want to wear our wounds like badges of honor because we feel some need for vindication or wronged by the injustices which we have had to endure, but in truth, the real badge of honor is one of strength & courage when we learn how to overcome our feelings moving beyond that which hurts us, keeping check on our own self-pity & going ahead with our lives as we know we should! We need to feel, to accept what life gives us, but we need to balance good & bad, not letting our negative baggage take such precedence that we no longer have room for joy in our own lives!

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Moments of Reflection

04 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Uncategorized

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Joy, Pain

Moments of Reflection

Sometimes in life, what was once the best thing becomes the most painful. What once gave you joy now brings you sorrow, what was once your shining time is now your memory, what once brought you so much contentment & peace now makes you fearful & filled with doubt. It is inevitable that we will experience events which are capable of altering our perspective, but it always up to us as to how we react in the long term.

If we realize that something good became something bad, then surely we can see how something bad can then again become something better! Look at the aspects of how you can learn from every scenario, making the most of the moments of reflection in the change, then seize upon the wealth of that lesson & move forward knowing that all will once again be changing. Life events are like the changing currents of wind in the sails of a sailboat . . we need to be flexible, we need to appraise our position upon the prevailing conditions & we need to be able to adapt as best as we can to what we encounter! Then we need to proceed into life with expectation & faith!

When Pain, Grief or Hurt Come…

04 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Happiness

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Attitude, Fairness, Grief, Happiness, Pain

When Pain, Grief or Hurt Come…

When pain, hurt or grief comes to call in your life, it’s fair to give it some time, to ponder & to heal. But don’t let it become the reason for your life, or your sole focus, for then all you’ve done is cheat yourself out of your own happiness! Move through things as you are able, get help if you need it, but don’t let something tragic, or negative or painful be the story of your life! There are many more sunrises ahead in which joy, happiness & smiles can find you, but only if you learn to take each event as it comes, deal with it at the time & then close the chapter when it’s time so that you prepare yourself for moving onward! The only person responsible for your happiness is you!!!

When It Is Time To Let Go…

04 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by Cheryl Ries in Life

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Life, Loss, Pain, Separation

When It Is Time To Let Go…

 

Sometimes in life, we have to learn to say our goodbyes.  It’s inevitable.  Life happens, situations change, circumstances occur and those we love leave.  It’s not ever easy . . if it were, there wouldn’t be a whole industry dealing with grieving and therapy wrapped up in helping people to cope with losses.  The simple fact of the matter is that we are always going to have to learn to face the inevitable thief who comes to steal our steady contentment and joy, replacing it with fear, anger, pain, hurt, and a flood of loss washing over us.  On any given day, people may come happily into our lives anew, but we may have to learn to say goodbye too.  No matter how many times you have said goodbye to someone, whether in a breakup or by death, the feeling is usually the same.  It’s grief.  It starts with shock and sometimes mixes immediately with anger, but always sadness swirls in to take your happiness temporarily away, much like the clouds moving over the sun.  Even when you have purposefully extricated someone from your life, you still feel much the same way about it, for it is a loss, albeit by choice.  

The worse losses are those, whether expected or not, which take those we love deeply away from us for good by death.  If you’ve never experienced a loss like that, you are very fortunate.  If you have, you know as I do, the sense of grief washing over you like a tsunami of pain and hurt.  It ebbs and floods again forward, with no rhyme nor reason, it takes its toll upon every part of your life, and when it finally eases up in the future, there’s no absolute recovery, only a tender daily lessening of the impact.  Love is never easy to leave behind nor to lose.  By choice, it’s a double-edged sword.  To give it up requires a sense that the pain without it will be less in time than the pain you experience with it.  When it just happens through the cruel twists of fate without your say-so, you will one day feel more like your old self again, but time is what is required, and at best, it takes a lot.  You’ll never be all the way back to the way you were before the loss, but then again, we are never, from one day to the next, the same anyway.  Learn to find the positive in all circumstances, even if at first that seems highly implausible, for it is what makes the hurt have less power for a shorter period of time in your life.  That’s the best you can hope for!

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Cheryl Ries-Author & Model

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